The Psychology of Dexter Quotes

“The other side of mental blanketing - the buffing and puffing up of marriage to keep it seeming shiny and magical - is up against a formidable fact. Statistically speaking, the act of marrying is banal. Even though many Americans wait longer than ever to marry, and often do not stay long in the marriages they do enter, most Americans - close to 90 percent - still do marry at some point in their lives. Some try it over and over again. Marrying, then, does not make people special; it makes them conventional.”
― Bella DePaulo, Singled Out: How Singles Are Stereotyped, Stigmatized, and Ignored, and Still Live Happily Ever After

“The freedom to be single, to create a path through life that does not look like everyone else's, can be unsettling to people who feel more secure with fewer choices.”
― Bella DePaulo, Singled Out: How Singles Are Stereotyped, Stigmatized, and Ignored, and Still Live Happily Ever After

“There is another reason ever-single women fare even better than previously married women in later life. They mastered the single life long ago. From structuring social events in a culture that caters to couples, to figuring out how to work and get all the tasks of everyday life accomplished when there may or may not be others readily available to do their unfair share, always-single women have been there, done that. It is not a new or daunting challenge.”
― Bella DePaulo, Singled Out: How Singles Are Stereotyped, Stigmatized, and Ignored, and Still Live Happily Ever After

“With initial understanding, Dexter replied, “Trust me, I definitely understand. See, I can’t help myself either.” Then, his tone swinging toward anger, said, “But children, I could never do that, not like you. Never, ever kids.”
― Bella DePaulo, The Psychology of Dexter

“As much as I find the soulmate concept sappy and silly, I also understand its appeal. The soulmate promises an all-in-one solution. Find that one perfect person and you have—for starters—your best friend, your sexual partner, your comforter and caretaker, your cheerleader, your escort to every social function, your consultant on matters large and small, and the one and only teammate you will ever need in home management, money management, and vacation planning. And that list doesn’t even include any of the potential coparenting possibilities. The soulmate mythology is the ultimate seduction: Find that one right person and all of your wishes will come true.”
― Bella DePaulo Ph.D., Singled Out: How Singles Are Stereotyped, Stigmatized, and Ignored, and Still Live Happily Ever After

“Maybe the point is that only people who are married with children have the proper “perspective on life” that enables wise judgments on matters such as schools or obscenity. If so, then should it also follow that the court needs to be packed with women to weigh in on matters such as abortion or reproductive technologies, or with gay men, lesbians, African Americans, and Arab Americans to make richly informed decisions about matters pertaining to discrimination, due process, and civil rights?”
― Bella DePaulo, Singled Out: How Singles Are Stereotyped, Stigmatized, and Ignored, and Still Live Happily Ever After

“I am tired of these affairs, where no one asks what books I’ve read, only a handful of relatives are interested in how I’m advancing at my job, and everyone quizzes me about my dating life.”
― Bella DePaulo, Singled Out: How Singles Are Stereotyped, Stigmatized, and Ignored, and Still Live Happily Ever After

“When other life factors were considered, the people who were happiest were those who were most satisfied with their household finances, and the next happiest were those who had good health. Marriage came in third.”
― Bella DePaulo, Singled Out: How Singles Are Stereotyped, Stigmatized, and Ignored, and Still Live Happily Ever After

“I still find it remarkable that Americans today will, on the average, spend more years of their adult life single than married.”
― Bella DePaulo, Singled Out: How Singles Are Stereotyped, Stigmatized, and Ignored, and Still Live Happily Ever After

“Others will forever be scratching their heads and wondering what’s wrong with you and comparing notes (he’s always been a bit strange; she’s so neurotic; I think he’s gay).”
― Bella DePaulo, Singled Out: How Singles Are Stereotyped, Stigmatized, and Ignored, and Still Live Happily Ever After

“Tell new acquaintances that you are single and often they think they already know quite a lot about you. They understand your emotions: You are miserable and lonely and envious of couples. They know what motivates you: More than anything else in the world, you want to become coupled. If you are a single person of a certain age, they also know why you are not coupled: You are commitment-phobic, or too picky, or have baggage. Or maybe they figure you are gay and they think that’s a problem, too.”
― Bella DePaulo, Singled Out: How Singles Are Stereotyped, Stigmatized, and Ignored, and Still Live Happily Ever After

“The paradigm experience of solitude is a state characterized by disengagement from the immediate demands of other people – a state of reduced social inhibition and increased freedom to select one’s mental and physical activities.”
― Bella DePaulo, Alone: The Badass Psychology of People Who Like Being Alone

“I ask Andrew if he would mind offering some advice to younger people about how to live. He thinks they should ask themselves, What are my values? How do I want to live my life? What do I care about? And then, Does my living situation feed that or does it take away from that? Oh,”
― Bella DePaulo, How We Live Now: Redefining Home and Family in the 21st Century

“In one of the buildings where April lived, the girls befriended the kids who lived upstairs. “At first it was nice; but other times, it just felt like every time we got home, they were knocking on the door. And it stopped having that sort of safe-haven feeling to it.”
― Bella DePaulo, How We Live Now: Redefining Home and Family in the 21st Century

“In the 1980s, worried professionals began to come together to compare notes and create visions of new ways of living that would offer a better quality of life.5 Although many of the professionals were architects, their focus was on people and human interactions, more than on buildings. They imagined neighborhoods where people would be out on the streets, walking to stores and school and work, running into each other, and stopping to chat. They envisioned streets that would be safe for joggers and bicyclists, and be visually interesting. They thought that communities should have a sense of place unique to their history and environs rather than a monotonous, prefabricated replicability.6 The architects also had some ideas about the kinds of features that would encourage the neighborliness and civic-mindedness to which they aspired. Homes, they thought, should be fronted by porches instead of garages. The houses should be close enough to the streets to invite conversations with passersby. Streets should be narrow enough to discourage drivers from speeding. In”
― Bella DePaulo, How We Live Now: Redefining Home and Family in the 21st Century

“Writing often in the pages of the New York Times, Allison Arieff is a powerful spokesperson. “Bring back the sidewalk!” she urged in one of her articles, explaining: “Community is born from social routine—running into neighbors at the mailbox or while walking down the street. Design for these serendipitous encounters.”8”
― Bella DePaulo, How We Live Now: Redefining Home and Family in the 21st Century

“Historians estimate that up to half of nineteenth-century city residents were either boarding or maintaining a boardinghouse.2 Single”
― Bella DePaulo, How We Live Now: Redefining Home and Family in the 21st Century

“The young adults of the time and their parents and pundits all wrung their hands. But they needn’t have. “Those who did best tended to accept change, not to berate themselves for breaking with tradition.”41”
― Bella DePaulo, How We Live Now: Redefining Home and Family in the 21st Century

“story. A study of more than seven thousand adults showed that introverts who had moved frequently when they were growing up, compared to those who rarely moved, had more difficulty developing strong personal relationships and maintaining them over time; and those difficulties seemed to undermine their happiness and satisfaction with their lives.”
― Bella DePaulo, How We Live Now: Redefining Home and Family in the 21st Century

“Ever since Aristotle described three different kinds of friends—friends of utility, of pleasure, and of virtue—we have known that a set of friends can be a diverse lot. We can have friends we only see at basketball games or book club, friends we see nearly every day at work, and friends who are our confidants. Specialization is fine—we do not expect to like all of our friends in the same way or for the same reasons. At”
― Bella DePaulo, How We Live Now: Redefining Home and Family in the 21st Century

“A national survey ongoing since 1974 has shown that Americans have never been less likely to be friends with their neighbors as they are now. The lowest levels of neighborliness were recorded in the suburbs.33”
― Bella DePaulo, How We Live Now: Redefining Home and Family in the 21st Century

“the relationship that I think is the most significant one in twenty-first-century American life: it is friendship. The”
― Bella DePaulo, How We Live Now: Redefining Home and Family in the 21st Century

“Home, to many of the people I interviewed, is a good, comfortable feeling about the place where they live, and a sense that their place is going to be theirs for a while....Home is any place, any experience that feeds his soul "in some positive way".”
― Bella DePaulo, How We Live Now: Redefining Home and family in the 21st Century

“They are people who always dream of living in a particular way, in some far-off gauzy future, and then one day, decided to stop fantasizing and start living the dream. They are people who dared to become the future by living in ways that seem startling even to a nation high on creativity. And there are people whose acts of bravery were to embrace old-fashioned lifespaces fully, joyfully, and unapologetically.”
― Bella DePaulo, How We Live Now: Redefining Home and family in the 21st Century

“Dr. Hervey Cleckley wrote in The Mask of Sanity”
― Bella DePaulo, The Psychology of Dexter

“Lethal Predators: Psychopathic, Sadistic, and Sane” in Profilers: Leading Investigators Take You inside the Criminal Mind, 2004.”
― Bella DePaulo, The Psychology of Dexter

“Marriage isn’t a disease; it isn’t catching. You don’t have to pass it on to everybody you know. Unlike a woman I once heard admit “I’ve never been married but I tell people I’m divorced so they are not scared of me,”
― Bella DePaulo, Singlism

“As a career girl in your late twenties, you have been most probably able to surround yourself with certain material assets…to which you shortly become accustomed. Will you then be eager to marry a man who cannot keep you in your customary supply of worldly goods?”
― Bella DePaulo, Singlism

“the way coupling is envisioned in contemporary American society is not universal, it is not timeless, and it is not human nature. Instead, the reigning American worldview may well represent one of the narrowest construals of intimacy ever imagined. Where once the tendrils of love and affection reached out to family, friends, and community, reached back to ancestors, and reached up to the heavens, now they surround and squeeze just one other person—sometimes to the point of asphyxiation.”
― Bella DePaulo, Singled Out: How Singles Are Stereotyped, Stigmatized, and Ignored, and Still Live Happily Ever After

“The freedom to be single, to create a path through life that does not look like everyone else’s, can be unsettling to people who feel more secure with fewer choices.”
― Bella DePaulo, Singled Out: How Singles Are Stereotyped, Stigmatized, and Ignored, and Still Live Happily Ever After