I Am The Architect of My Own Destruction Quotes

“i overthink.
i overlove.
i over feel.

i am the sea
or i am nothing.”
― Juansen Dizon, I Am The Architect of My Own Destruction

“A happy ending:

She agreed to love herself deeply.
She was finally the sun of her own life.”
― Juansen Dizon, I Am The Architect of My Own Destruction

“May 18, 2018

Some days I could fly and feel very happy. I record those days in my journal for I know that I will feel very sad again. And I need proof that I will be very happy again. Thankfully, I feel very happy tonight. Goodnight.”
― Juansen Dizon, I Am The Architect of My Own Destruction

“I whispered to my heart “Is everything meaningless?”

“It doesn’t really matter,” It smiled. “Nothing matters.”
― Juansen Dizon, I Am The Architect of My Own Destruction

“You & Me

I will always
be glad
for the moments
we’ve shared
and for the moments
we still have to share.

Waking up next to you
is a miracle:

Your skin; My skin
Your eyes; My eyes
Your hair; My fingers
Your paintings; My poems
Your piercings; My tattoos
Your overfeeling mind; My overthinking heart
Your fart in the middle of the night; My uncontainable laughter
Your soft yawn when you woke up;
My lips kissing your soul back to sleep;
My head on your chest;

Listening to the heart that taught me it’s okay to feel again.”
― Juansen Dizon, I Am The Architect of My Own Destruction

“People who don’t feel pain anymore are the most damaged.”
― Juansen Dizon, I Am The Architect of My Own Destruction

“June 16, 2018

I feel lovely, but it’s just the drugs. But sometimes I think that maybe it isn’t just the drugs? Maybe these feelings are inside of us all along, and the drugs find them. Maybe that’s why some people choose to be junkies because they choose to believe that they’re worthy of happiness. And maybe some of us like the pain so much that we numb it in order for us to really understand it. To put these suicidal feelings to sleep and fall in love with the way we fall in love with the stars within us. I think self-destruction is the most addictive thing. There’s something very powerful and magical about it.”
― Juansen Dizon, I Am The Architect of My Own Destruction

“I think of killing myself a lot, and it’s the worst feeling in the world.”
― Juansen Dizon, I Am The Architect of My Own Destruction

“Sometimes, there comes a time when the universe just wants you to find all the love that you deserve inside the saddest parts of you. It is there where your healing will begin.”
― Juansen Dizon, I Am The Architect of My Own Destruction

“That’s how we stay young nowadays:

Chasing down bottles
of pills, jumping off bridges,
slicing up our bodies and an idealized
vision of being skinny enough.”
― Juansen Dizon, I Am The Architect of My Own Destruction

“The strongest ones are the ones who have every reason to die but still live.”
― Juansen Dizon, I Am The Architect of My Own Destruction

“And all she loved, she loved with a little sadness in her heart.”
― Juansen Dizon, I Am The Architect of My Own Destruction

“Some days I don’t exist. My bed becomes a casket.”
― Juansen Dizon, I Am The Architect of My Own Destruction

“Self-Restoration

You will
heal not
in a way
that you
are acceptable
to other people.

You will
heal in a way
that you are acceptable
to yourself.”
― Juansen Dizon, I Am The Architect of My Own Destruction

“I have learned that feeling empty sometimes is okay. I’ve got to refill myself with something at some point. Art, love, solitude, random acts of kindness. I really don’t know, but that’s what makes being whole again so exciting.”
― Juansen Dizon, I Am The Architect of My Own Destruction

“the philosophical cure
to anxiety
is not optimism
but rather pessimism.

optimism says
“the world is beautiful
and there’s no reason to be sad.”

pessimism says
“look at all these countries
waging wars
let’s go get some ice cream
and just listen to some sad records.”
― Juansen Dizon, I Am The Architect of My Own Destruction

“don’t work yourself to the point of a mental breakdown. give priority to your mental health. you are only a few steps away from completely losing your balance and breaking your mind. take one step back every time you take two steps forward. breathe. be mindful. see through life as it transpires moment by moment. learn when to rest. sleep is important. eating healthily is important. everything you do for the sake of your sanity is important. being kind to your mind is the best self-care there is. if there’s anything that’s lovely about you, it is your mind.”
― Juansen Dizon, I Am The Architect of My Own Destruction

“stay alive
for you
may
save a life.”
― Juansen Dizon, I Am The Architect of My Own Destruction

“Be soft. Be grateful. Anything that is healing doesn’t always glow.”
― Juansen Dizon, I Am The Architect of My Own Destruction

“Healing is when you become something else, something better, and not something you were before.”
― Juansen Dizon, I Am The Architect of My Own Destruction

“Sometimes it’s just lying in bed and staring at the ceiling listening to the same song over and over again as it slowly loses its meaning. Sometimes it’s how people go mad because they couldn’t tame the darkness that was growing within them over time. Some days it’s a girl waking up without her soul. Some nights it’s a boy falling asleep with his spirit crushed. Sometimes it’s someone wanting to lose themselves to a person, but instead, they push that person away.

Solitude only becomes a prison when you do not love yourself. And even if you do love yourself it’s still a very dangerous thing, and the very benefits of it are the stars shining in its purest darkness.

Solitude isn’t always pretty but also are the truths that we find within ourselves when we learn to find solace in it.”
― Juansen Dizon, I Am The Architect of My Own Destruction

“Some days I donʼt exist. My bed becomes a casket.”
― Juansen Dizon, I Am The Architect of My Own Destruction