The Object of My Affection Is in My Reflection Quotes

“narcissists sense that their partner will inevitably see how inadequate they are and leave for someone else. Rather than wait for that reality, they’d rather control the inevitability and leave first.”
― Rokelle Lerner, The Object of My Affection Is in My Reflection: Coping with Narcissists

“To let go is not to criticize and regulate anybody, but to try to become what I dream I can be.   To let go is not to regret the past, but to grow and live for the future. To let go is to fear less and love myself more.”
― Rokelle Lerner, The Object of My Affection Is in My Reflection: Coping with Narcissists

“You’re only young once, but you can be immature forever.” —GERMAINE GREER”
― Rokelle Lerner, The Object of My Affection Is in My Reflection: Coping with Narcissists

“PERSONAL BILL OF RIGHTS FOR MY RELATIONSHIPS 1. I have a right to be treated with courtesy and respect. 2. I have a right to be the only romantic or sexual interest in my partner’s life. 3. I have a right to be informed about our assets, manage my own finances, and choose how I spend my money. 4. I have a right to have a say in decisions that affect myself and my family. 5. I have a right to be wrong and make mistakes without being punished or humiliated. 6. I have the right to live without emotional or physical violence. 7. I have the right to voice my opinion respectfully without retribution. 8. I have the right to have my personal property treated with respect. 9. I have the right to talk to others about matters that affect me. 10. I have the right to choose my own friends. 11. I have the right to enjoy myself. 12. I have the right to live without guns or pornography in my house. 13. My children have the right to be treated with respect and dignity. (Adapted from Cooper & Cooper, 2008)”
― Rokelle Lerner, The Object of My Affection Is in My Reflection: Coping with Narcissists

“New beginnings don’t start with a flourish of music and a round of applause. They start in small increments. Little by little, you notice yourself feeling slightly happier and sleeping a bit better; a glimmer of optimism begins to return. Step by step, your new life begins.”
― Rokelle Lerner, The Object of My Affection Is in My Reflection: Coping with Narcissists

“When we feel incapable of making the situation better, we go into hiding. Out of hopelessness and despair, we become convinced that any opportunity for a meaningful interaction with our beloved is impossible and we lose the ability to reach out.”
― Rokelle Lerner, The Object of My Affection Is in My Reflection: Coping with Narcissists

“When we can’t make sense of the way we are being treated, we wind up distorting our view of ourselves and our relationships.”
― Rokelle Lerner, The Object of My Affection Is in My Reflection: Coping with Narcissists

“Unfortunately, however, people don’t change by learning more information. The only way to break a bonding pattern is through honest vulnerability.”
― Rokelle Lerner, The Object of My Affection Is in My Reflection: Coping with Narcissists

“No one can romance and seduce like a narcissist. If a narcissist sees someone they want, then having “it” becomes a project of massive proportions. This person must be possessed at any cost.”
― Rokelle Lerner, The Object of My Affection Is in My Reflection: Coping with Narcissists

“She knows she has treated Jerry cruelly at times, but she’s lost respect for him because, as she states, “He’s always there and just keeps coming back. What is the matter with him?” She’s just met someone more intriguing at her Twelve Step meeting, and after all, Jerry will be much happier without her.”
― Rokelle Lerner, The Object of My Affection Is in My Reflection: Coping with Narcissists

“From the perspective of a narcissist, a person who claims to love them is a fraud, a liar, or blind.”
― Rokelle Lerner, The Object of My Affection Is in My Reflection: Coping with Narcissists

“Narcissists identify being loved with being possessed, engulfed, and inevitably discarded.”
― Rokelle Lerner, The Object of My Affection Is in My Reflection: Coping with Narcissists

“Nothing is more hated by a narcissist than an expression of intimacy like, “I love you.”
― Rokelle Lerner, The Object of My Affection Is in My Reflection: Coping with Narcissists

“Never offer him or her friendship. You will be used.”
― Rokelle Lerner, The Object of My Affection Is in My Reflection: Coping with Narcissists

“All we know about ourselves comes from the way people loved us.”
― Rokelle Lerner, The Object of My Affection Is in My Reflection: Coping with Narcissists

“To let go is to fear less and love myself more.”
― Rokelle Lerner, The Object of My Affection Is in My Reflection: Coping with Narcissists

“To let go is not to be in the middle arranging the outcome, but to allow others to affect their own destinies. To let go is not to be protective. It’s to permit another to face reality.”
― Rokelle Lerner, The Object of My Affection Is in My Reflection: Coping with Narcissists

“To let go is not to be protective. It’s to permit another to face reality.”
― Rokelle Lerner, The Object of My Affection Is in My Reflection: Coping with Narcissists