Empty Quotes
Empty
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K.M. Walton2,016 ratings, 3.61 average rating, 273 reviews
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“Why can’t I tell them that Brandon forced himself on me? Took advantage of my drunkness, told me to stay still and put himself inside me. I told him to stop. I didn’t want to do it. Or did I?
Oh, my God. Maybe I did. I’m, like, double his weight. I could’ve pushed him off me. Could I have? Maybe this is all my fault.”
― Empty
Oh, my God. Maybe I did. I’m, like, double his weight. I could’ve pushed him off me. Could I have? Maybe this is all my fault.”
― Empty
“I just don’t want to deal with the stares, mean comments, and whispers. I want someone else to do something stupid, so everyone can move on to the next bullshit drama. But I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to move on. I feel stained, like, ruined.”
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“I wish my mother was a hugger. A hug right now would help a lot. A hug would fill me up, make me feel as if I exist and maybe even douse the anger. Instead, I get a shoulder squeeze as my mom heads back to her room.
A shoulder squeeze can in no way be compared to a hug. They’re like the difference between a size twenty-four and a size two. The squeeze is so inadequate, and the hug just the right thing. I want perfect and I get insufficient.”
― Empty
A shoulder squeeze can in no way be compared to a hug. They’re like the difference between a size twenty-four and a size two. The squeeze is so inadequate, and the hug just the right thing. I want perfect and I get insufficient.”
― Empty
“I’m a mess. She’s a mess. My whole life is a damn mess. All I want to do is lick the salty cheese off the inside of the bag.”
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“He raped me. I have to tell the truth. I can’t tell the truth. This is all wrong. He raped me.
But who would believe me? Who would believe that he came on to me, that it was his idea to go upstairs, that he held me down and had sex with me?
I couldn’t handle watching people wince with doubt. The eye rolls. The probing questions. Continuously having to validate the truth. That would feel as invasive and humiliating as the rape itself.”
― Empty
But who would believe me? Who would believe that he came on to me, that it was his idea to go upstairs, that he held me down and had sex with me?
I couldn’t handle watching people wince with doubt. The eye rolls. The probing questions. Continuously having to validate the truth. That would feel as invasive and humiliating as the rape itself.”
― Empty
“I want a lot of things I can never have: a different body, my virginity back, for Brandon and whoever taped that drawing to my locker to explode like watermelons stuffed with dynamite, a best friend who would die for me, way less math homework and cute clothes to wear for the talent show on Friday.”
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“My stomach growls and my eyes hurt. My eyelids feel like I put Novocain in them. You know, like when you come from the dentist and your lips feel like you shoved a football underneath the skin? That’s how my eyes feel.”
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“I study my face carefully to see if my parents’ bickering affects me. I roll my eyes.
I appear to be uncomfortable, nervous even, as they go back and forth a few more times about talking and listening. I press stop and lean back on the sofa.
Not once did my father hug me. There was no high five, no compliment. Just a single line of critique. My theory is correct. My father didn’t love me; he loved my athletic ability.”
― Empty
I appear to be uncomfortable, nervous even, as they go back and forth a few more times about talking and listening. I press stop and lean back on the sofa.
Not once did my father hug me. There was no high five, no compliment. Just a single line of critique. My theory is correct. My father didn’t love me; he loved my athletic ability.”
― Empty
“Somewhere along the next three blocks my thoughts jump from anger straight to terror: Taryn Anderson.
If Taryn knows about the sex, my miserable life will plunge into the fiery depths of hell. She will verbally tear me to shreds, publicly humiliate me and do everything in her power to ruin my life.
I’ve seen her do it to other girls; girls who didn’t even have sex with her boyfriend.”
― Empty
If Taryn knows about the sex, my miserable life will plunge into the fiery depths of hell. She will verbally tear me to shreds, publicly humiliate me and do everything in her power to ruin my life.
I’ve seen her do it to other girls; girls who didn’t even have sex with her boyfriend.”
― Empty
“Our friendship would end if I was honest about the rape. She couldn’t handle what happened or knowing who raped me. And who his girlfriend is.
Or the unthinkable could happen: She wouldn’t believe me. Either way I know Cara would abandon me.
Popularity is finally in her grasp. Remain friends with the enormous, ugly, fat girl who was raped by the hottest guy in school or become friends with four of the prettiest, skinniest, most fashionable, and popular girls in school?
Truthfully, the choice is obvious. It’s sort of like being offered a bowl of shit or a bowl of ice cream.”
― Empty
Or the unthinkable could happen: She wouldn’t believe me. Either way I know Cara would abandon me.
Popularity is finally in her grasp. Remain friends with the enormous, ugly, fat girl who was raped by the hottest guy in school or become friends with four of the prettiest, skinniest, most fashionable, and popular girls in school?
Truthfully, the choice is obvious. It’s sort of like being offered a bowl of shit or a bowl of ice cream.”
― Empty
“As I wait for the streetlight to change, I inhale the warm spring air, and the most bizarre fantasy unravels in my head: Brandon secretly likes me because I know how to make him laugh.
My size doesn’t matter to him, and he’s broken up about what he did to me at the party, so he dumps bitchy Taryn because she bores him and only cares about herself. Then he asks me out.
I am completely aware that it is stupid and impossible. I guess it boils down to this: I liked Brandon a lot, and I wanted him to kiss me and touch me.
Deep down, I wanted to have sex with him. And I keep trying to alter what actually happened that night so it resembles one of my fantasies.
But nothing I do blocks out Brandon’s demand that I stay still. That I said no. That he left me naked and alone. I swear every stupid flower in Melissa’s parents’ bedroom shook its head at me as I pulled my underwear back on.
None of my excuses can forgive how he treated me in the hallway. That look he had on his face. That scowl. He called me “dude.”
― Empty
My size doesn’t matter to him, and he’s broken up about what he did to me at the party, so he dumps bitchy Taryn because she bores him and only cares about herself. Then he asks me out.
I am completely aware that it is stupid and impossible. I guess it boils down to this: I liked Brandon a lot, and I wanted him to kiss me and touch me.
Deep down, I wanted to have sex with him. And I keep trying to alter what actually happened that night so it resembles one of my fantasies.
But nothing I do blocks out Brandon’s demand that I stay still. That I said no. That he left me naked and alone. I swear every stupid flower in Melissa’s parents’ bedroom shook its head at me as I pulled my underwear back on.
None of my excuses can forgive how he treated me in the hallway. That look he had on his face. That scowl. He called me “dude.”
― Empty
“If my sister were older, I would talk to her. Meggie was so cute when I picked her up from day care. She said, “I miss you, Dehwy, when you go.” Then she kissed me right on the lips.
She tasted like strawberries. I held her the whole walk home and breathed her in. By the time we got back, I swear I felt better. I don’t know what it is about her smell, but I’m pretty sure it’s what heaven smells like.”
― Empty
She tasted like strawberries. I held her the whole walk home and breathed her in. By the time we got back, I swear I felt better. I don’t know what it is about her smell, but I’m pretty sure it’s what heaven smells like.”
― Empty
“The tingling happiness I’d felt after tryouts is dead. The demon ate it. Or maybe it was the cow. And the thought of shopping for an outfit to wear while an auditorium full of people stare at me makes me want to lock myself in a closet.”
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“If lunch is my favorite subject, you'd fully expect that phys ed would be the fat girl’s nemesis.
It is, but it’s not because I’m unathletic (I could probably out-athletic 80% of the guys in my class). It’s the changing for gym and getting undressed part that makes me want to throw on an invisibility cloak.”
― Empty
It is, but it’s not because I’m unathletic (I could probably out-athletic 80% of the guys in my class). It’s the changing for gym and getting undressed part that makes me want to throw on an invisibility cloak.”
― Empty
“I feel small right now. Like a flea on a rat. And the rat is Brandon Levitt.
He jogs down the hall, ending our first post-sex conversation.
Clearly he wants to forget what he did. Clearly he has no intention of apologizing. Clearly he wants nothing to do with me. Clearly he is a total dick.”
― Empty
He jogs down the hall, ending our first post-sex conversation.
Clearly he wants to forget what he did. Clearly he has no intention of apologizing. Clearly he wants nothing to do with me. Clearly he is a total dick.”
― Empty
“Standing onstage with people cheering for me filled me with so much contentment, even more than any bag of chips or sandwich could.
I overflowed like a pot of spaghetti, bubbling with intensity, boiling over the stage. That was me. An intense, boiling pot of spaghetti.”
― Empty
I overflowed like a pot of spaghetti, bubbling with intensity, boiling over the stage. That was me. An intense, boiling pot of spaghetti.”
― Empty
“Brandon’s voice fills my head.
"This never happened. Don’t tell anyone."
My leg bounces underneath the table. I think the part that hurts the most was how he laughed just before saying, "I can’t believe I’m doing this."
I swear I can still feel the warmth of his breath on my shoulder, like tattooed disgrace.
I’m finally crying. No, I’m dripping humiliation. I reach up and wipe my cheeks. What an asshole.
I want to push Brandon down a flight of stairs and have him smash into pieces at the bottom. I want him so broken that he’s unrecognizable. Unable to hold any other girl down and tell her to “stay still.”
― Empty
"This never happened. Don’t tell anyone."
My leg bounces underneath the table. I think the part that hurts the most was how he laughed just before saying, "I can’t believe I’m doing this."
I swear I can still feel the warmth of his breath on my shoulder, like tattooed disgrace.
I’m finally crying. No, I’m dripping humiliation. I reach up and wipe my cheeks. What an asshole.
I want to push Brandon down a flight of stairs and have him smash into pieces at the bottom. I want him so broken that he’s unrecognizable. Unable to hold any other girl down and tell her to “stay still.”
― Empty
“I’m about to start singing a capella when music comes from the speakers. Cara must’ve given them a karaoke version. I open and close my hands as I wait for my entry point. And I sing. I’m into the second verse when the strangest sensation starts in my fingers.
It’s not bad, just weird, like tingling. It travels up my arms and settles in behind my face. Maybe the sensation is confidence, I don’t know, but I feel different.
I want to reach out and wrap my hands around the microphone, maybe even sway my hips to the music.
I wish I could get into my performance; yank the microphone out of the stand, toss my hair around, fall to my knees. You know, like the divas do in their videos. I don’t, though.”
― Empty
It’s not bad, just weird, like tingling. It travels up my arms and settles in behind my face. Maybe the sensation is confidence, I don’t know, but I feel different.
I want to reach out and wrap my hands around the microphone, maybe even sway my hips to the music.
I wish I could get into my performance; yank the microphone out of the stand, toss my hair around, fall to my knees. You know, like the divas do in their videos. I don’t, though.”
― Empty
“Brandon and Taryn are at the end of the hallway. He has her skinny little body pinned up against the lockers and is kissing her neck. He turns his head, sees me, and pauses (midkiss) and stares.
His look speaks volumes: "Keep your mouth shut, fat girl."
If I had an ax, I’d love to hold him down and chop his nuts off. Or if I had the guts, give him the finger, but I busy myself in my locker.
By the time I slam it shut, they’re long gone. I’ve broken out in a cold sweat. My T-shirt clings to my stomach and back. A single bead of panic rolls down my spine, tickling my skin like a spider. I shiver as I round the corner.
If I tell anyone about the rape, I risk major backlash. People won’t believe that Brandon raped me. I know it.”
― Empty
His look speaks volumes: "Keep your mouth shut, fat girl."
If I had an ax, I’d love to hold him down and chop his nuts off. Or if I had the guts, give him the finger, but I busy myself in my locker.
By the time I slam it shut, they’re long gone. I’ve broken out in a cold sweat. My T-shirt clings to my stomach and back. A single bead of panic rolls down my spine, tickling my skin like a spider. I shiver as I round the corner.
If I tell anyone about the rape, I risk major backlash. People won’t believe that Brandon raped me. I know it.”
― Empty
“The walk to school is an ugly, ugly walk. My thoughts are so heavy, I don’t know how my feet aren’t sunk into the sidewalk.
A few times, I stop and lean against a tree just to calm down. What if everyone knows what Brandon did to me? That he thought it was some kind of a joke?”
― Empty
A few times, I stop and lean against a tree just to calm down. What if everyone knows what Brandon did to me? That he thought it was some kind of a joke?”
― Empty
“I curl into the fetal position and listen to the birds. Their peppy chirping captivates me, because happiness and its trappings remain a dark mystery.
I palm my head and run my fingers through my hair. My skin hurts. I was raped and I can’t tell anyone.
I cover my ears because the birds annoy me now. My brain can no longer appreciate the good and the beautiful. It’s too busy cranking out shame and misery.”
― Empty
I palm my head and run my fingers through my hair. My skin hurts. I was raped and I can’t tell anyone.
I cover my ears because the birds annoy me now. My brain can no longer appreciate the good and the beautiful. It’s too busy cranking out shame and misery.”
― Empty
“I stare at the ceiling and thoughts start slamming into one another. I am no longer a virgin. I had sex. I didn’t want to. Was I raped?
Isn’t rape, like, violent and forceful, with blood and anger? Could I have really stopped him? Did I try hard enough? He didn’t even put a condom on. What if I’m pregnant? Oh, my God. Maybe I wanted it. I had a guy’s penis inside of me. Someone else’s guy.
Sex is a rite of passage. That’s what my seventh-grade health teacher told us, and Brandon stole that from me.”
― Empty
Isn’t rape, like, violent and forceful, with blood and anger? Could I have really stopped him? Did I try hard enough? He didn’t even put a condom on. What if I’m pregnant? Oh, my God. Maybe I wanted it. I had a guy’s penis inside of me. Someone else’s guy.
Sex is a rite of passage. That’s what my seventh-grade health teacher told us, and Brandon stole that from me.”
― Empty
“Tears roll down my temples into my hair. I have nothing to say. I make no move to cover my nakedness. I lay there like a blob of inhuman matter.
I close my eyes, take a deep breath, and do everything in my power to smell the “perfect love smell” of my little sister.
I need to smell love right now. It doesn’t work because it never works, and all I smell is sweat.”
― Empty
I close my eyes, take a deep breath, and do everything in my power to smell the “perfect love smell” of my little sister.
I need to smell love right now. It doesn’t work because it never works, and all I smell is sweat.”
― Empty
“He leans down and kisses me. All 286 pounds of me melts into the daisies. I don’t want him to stop. Brandon is a good kisser; tender, not too much tongue and he keeps his spit in his own mouth.
As he’s kissing me, his hands are doing all kinds of things. One is up underneath my shirt trying to unhook my bra, while the other unbuttons and unzips my jeans. I am amazed at his multitalented hands.”
― Empty
As he’s kissing me, his hands are doing all kinds of things. One is up underneath my shirt trying to unhook my bra, while the other unbuttons and unzips my jeans. I am amazed at his multitalented hands.”
― Empty
“In a single motion, he yanks down his jeans and boxers and kicks them to the side.
I have never seen a naked guy before. Well, I’ve seen them from the waist up, but never full-on wiener. I blink a few times and grin. He is beautiful. All of him. But why is he naked? He shouldn’t be naked.
Before I can figure it all out, he lays me down and then straddles me. I now have a nude Brandon Levitt on top of me.”
― Empty
I have never seen a naked guy before. Well, I’ve seen them from the waist up, but never full-on wiener. I blink a few times and grin. He is beautiful. All of him. But why is he naked? He shouldn’t be naked.
Before I can figure it all out, he lays me down and then straddles me. I now have a nude Brandon Levitt on top of me.”
― Empty
“Brandon leans in and says all breathy in my ear, “I want you . . . to stay.”
His answer doesn’t register in my beer-soaked brain. Brandon begs me to moo in front of people. He just showed me a video of a fat, diapered Japanese dude’s ass, which I’m sure reminded him of me.
There is no way Brandon Levitt is asking me to stay with him in this daisy bedroom. This bedroom with a ginormous bed. No way.”
― Empty
His answer doesn’t register in my beer-soaked brain. Brandon begs me to moo in front of people. He just showed me a video of a fat, diapered Japanese dude’s ass, which I’m sure reminded him of me.
There is no way Brandon Levitt is asking me to stay with him in this daisy bedroom. This bedroom with a ginormous bed. No way.”
― Empty
“I want to tell him that he looks hot and that I like the way his black hair curls out from under his baseball
hat and how his faded T-shirt with the old-fashioned Phillies logo hugs his chest and arms perfectly. But I don’t. I haven’t had that many beers.”
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hat and how his faded T-shirt with the old-fashioned Phillies logo hugs his chest and arms perfectly. But I don’t. I haven’t had that many beers.”
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“I know I could make the effort and join them, but if I jumped, there’d be a strong chance I’d bust through the hardwood floor and land in the basement in a heap of splintered wood and concrete. The stoners would have the laugh of the century. The party would be ruined.”
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“I’ve liked Brandon since seventh grade, and that’s a long time. I think I fell for him when he complimented the grand slam I hit during gym. He said, because I remember it verbatim, “Hey, Dell, killer hit. You have a good swing.”
He said it in the nicest voice. I remember my stomach had flip-flopped, and I’d bumbled out a thank-you. Then he smiled and bit his lip, and I blushed.”
― Empty
He said it in the nicest voice. I remember my stomach had flip-flopped, and I’d bumbled out a thank-you. Then he smiled and bit his lip, and I blushed.”
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