When Sorry Isn't Enough Quotes

“The desire for reconciliation is often more potent than the desire for justice. The more intimate the relationship, the deeper the desire for reconciliation.”
― Gary Chapman, When Sorry Isn't Enough: Making Things Right with Those You Love

“What are the steps for giving a good apology? Body language can make or break the sincerity of an apology. Be sure that you maintain eye contact. Don't cross your arms defensively, Listen with concern, and speak with a pleasant tone of voice. Then, choose words that do not blame others, excuse yourself, or deny responsibility. Instead, take responsibility for your part of the problem. Do this even if it wasn't all your fault. Express sorrow for hurt feelings. Offer to make amends. Talk about how you can prevent the problem from happening again, and consider requesting forgiveness.”
― Gary Chapman, When Sorry Isn't Enough: Making Things Right with Those You Love

“Do not try to give a serious apology via electronic media. Taking the time to speak directly with someone better conveys your sincerity.”
― Gary Chapman, When Sorry Isn't Enough: Making Things Right with Those You Love

“When I'm sitting in my counselor chair and I hear these phrases being spoken to a partner, I often stop the action and say "You are heading in the wrong direction. Proceed only if you intend to wreck this relationship.":
"Haven't you gotten over that yet?" "I'm sorry that you were offended." "I asked for and received forgiveness from God." "I should be excused because I..." "You're too sensitive. It was only joking." "Why do you always..." "If you hadn't..." "You sound like your mother." "That's just silly." "That's life." "What's the big deal?" "To the extent that you were offended..." "Gimme a break." "You just need to get over it." "There's nothing I can do about that now. I can't take away the past." "Why can't you let bygones be bygones?”
― Gary Chapman, When Sorry Isn't Enough: Making Things Right with Those You Love

“some rough waters. She said, “Ryan has at times said he was sorry. But then he expects me to say it back, even if I don’t feel like I should have to because he was the cause of the fight in the first place. That just doesn’t work for me. I want him to say he’s sorry and not expect anything in return. That would mean that he is truly sorry.” Sometimes we hurt people and don’t realize it. It was certainly not intentional. Good relationships are fostered by expressing regret even when we did not intend to hurt them. If I bump into someone getting out of an elevator, I murmur, “I’m sorry,” not because I intentionally bumped him but because I identify with his inconvenience or irritation with my unintentional bump. The same principle is true in close relationships. You may not realize that your behavior has upset your spouse, but when it becomes apparent, then you can say, “I’m sorry that my behavior caused you so much pain. I didn’t intend to hurt you.” Regret focuses on dealing with one’s own behavior and expressing empathy for the hurt it has caused the other person. Insincerity is also communicated when we say “I’m sorry” simply to get the other person to stop confronting us with the issue. Rhonda sensed this when she said, “Early in our marriage, my husband did something”
― Gary Chapman, When Sorry Isn't Enough: Making Things Right with Those You Love

“In a perfect world, there would be no need for apologies.”
― Jennifer M. Thomas, When Sorry Isn't Enough: Making Things Right with Those You Love

“We believe that going beyond a quick “I’m sorry”—learning to apologize effectively—can help rekindle love that has been dimmed by pain. We believe that when we all learn to apologize—and when we understand each other’s apology language—we can trade in tired excuses for honesty, trust, and joy.”
― Gary Chapman, When Sorry Isn't Enough: Making Things Right with Those You Love

“Humankind has an amazing capacity to forgive.”
― Gary Chapman, When Sorry Isn't Enough: Making Things Right with Those You Love