avi ౨ৎ > Status Update

Ya'll okay this is going to be a a rant. So it been about 1 month since I have been assault. And like I think I said it is from this family that we are literally "Family" yk. Anyways their kids are like my cousins. I am the youngest out of all of them their youngest is 18 (the one who hit me). And like the past 2 weeks me and my parents and my brother went out to eat at this hibachi near us. And so let call the Graduate M. M and his sister A. (A is the oldest) were at one end with me and my brother. My brother made sure I didn't needed to sit next to them so he put me on the end which made me happy. But like I am Asian and all. And this place is Japanese infused food. But we had a Hispanic as our like cook or whatever. Anyways A told my Brother this "Why are there so many Mexicans in a Asian restaurant shouldn't they be at taco bell or something" We are talking about a 29 y/o. I just hate that. Like girl 1) anybody can cook, how about you shut up and go back to pancakes and butter! 2) that is so racist and rude 3) YOU SAID THAT IN FRONT OF THAT MAN AND ME! That is just wrong. Anyways that was that night. I tried not to talk but M works at a movie theater and he gets to bring 3 people for free. And my brother Jokingly asked if he could bring his GF to the Movies and get in free. And M was like "No but you and your GF could go and me and Ava can go to a different movie." Okay in the past when we were young like I was 5 and he was 10 our parents were like oh they are going to marry and all. But dude! You are old now and I am not going anywhere with you without one of my relatives! And then his mom let call her J. Was like "That is such a great idea it can be like a double date." THIS IS NOT LEGAL! I am a minor and he is an adult dude this is not legal! Anyways my brother said this immediate "Yeah no my sister won't do that M." So now I half endure this. Like that family thinks that the assault never happened! they are trying to go back to the old ways which really pisses me off.

I honestly don't know what to do. My brother makes sure one of my siblings is with me whenever they are around to protect me. But still! I get roped into doing church stuff with him!

Also the family are trying to make sure it never happens so when ever it comes up they change the subject. They also say that M wasn't in the "right mind" at that time. Like really your going to play that stupid card!

I’d tell ur parents and make sure to let ur brother know how u feel abt this. You got this girl <333

Thanks yeah my parents never now force me to go to these events anymore like they used to and my brother always come with me or they make sure one of my parents are with me.

mckenna ♡ wrote: "wait he hit you??"

Yeah and pushed me to the ground. And I just gave him a small tap on his shoulder to move. it was during a game and his parents are like "Well he is very competitive" and the supervisor was like "Boys will be boys"

Yeah he also has autism I think. and his parents and in the beginning my parents used that as an excuse.

London Mae (barely active) wrote: "WAIT he hit you? Idc if you’ve known this guy your entire life, THATS ASSAULT. I’d tell your parents abt this. Thats not okay, and talk of “date” between an adult and minor is extremely inappropria..."

Thanks yeah when it happened I told them that night. And we are taking precaution we didn't do charges or anything.

mckenna ♡ wrote: "and talk to a trusted adult about how you feel! im so sorry this happened 🫶🏻 everyone who was defending him needs to grow up and he needs to get a life

and his sister needs to stop being a racist ..."

Yeah, him and his sister I tihnk have something don't remember but i think he has austism or smth. So their parents use that as an excuse.

London Mae (barely active) wrote: "“Boys will be boys” nah thats stupid. Thats not an excuse."

Yeah I literally wanted to yell at the supervisor! They even needed to be talked with my parents about it!! then they apologies to me.

Okay, I see you mentioned church stuff so I’m just gonna say, my first reaction would be to pray about it. It’s good that your siblings are protecting you but Gods protection can’t hurt. I would say talk to your mom about how this makes you feel, it seems like she was okay with you going alone with him so just calmly and respectfully let her know the very idea of that makes you uncomfortable. Now, I’m not sure about the whole story of actually being assaulted, like why did he do it; and all the background so it’s kind of hard to judge why your parents would be so okay with going back to normal.
However, you now see this person in a new light and it’s not going to go back to normal and that’s okay. I think it’s important for you to set boundaries and tell the people around you when lines are being crossed or your uncomfortable. It might be a bit awkward and uncomfortable setting up these boundaries but in the end it will be worth it. Stand your ground and don’t let them put you in these situations.
You don’t have to wholly avoid him, it’s okay to have interaction with him. (Unless you genuinely fear the situation will arise again and you are at risk of harm) Just be very point blank, you don’t have to act like besties but you should still treat him the way anyone else should be treated. Yes, he did something very wrong but the gospel teaches us forgiveness.
Forgive, don’t forget. Pray that you would be able to forgive him and move forward. Jesus plead forgiveness for those who crucified him.

Also, that girl sounds so racist my jaw was dropped 😭😭 again, don’t gotta be besties with her.
Distance is okay, people change, things happen and that’s okay.
I hope this helps! Praying for you!

Oh let me say this. My parents know and it wasn't my mom who felt comfortable it was his mom what said that. And I have been taking Therapy since the beginning of the year so me and my therapist talked about it. We also pray about it. It is his parents who are trying to erase the past my parents are telling them that it wasn't okay. Yeah my whole family Forgive them but we don't forget especially me and I am always cautious with them.

My parents always check up on me about it daily. So it is nice. I love how they support my decisions with it all.

That’s crazy. Wishing the best for you ml <333 nothing is a good excuse for assault

Yeah

I’m so so sorry this happened to you! I would say forgive but don’t forget. What he did isn’t ok, a similar thing happened with me and my friend’s dad and I’ve just avoided him since. I think I get what your dealing with and that sucks, I’m super glad you’re family supports you with this so maybe just ask if you can not go to any events he’ll be at, or especially smaller ones since it might be hard to avoid him completely. Set boundaries for him and let there be consequences if he pushes them. I’ll be praying for you! 🫶

Thanks Gen that helps a lot!!

Anytime, I really hope this works out for you Ava! ❤️

Yeah.