Sun > Status Update

Paul wrote: "Here's a copy and paste of Eddie Witt's (LA Witt's husband) post, I'll probably get blocked for this, but f**k it:

Eddie Witt
43 mins ·

I am no stranger to the SH story currently blowing up on T..."

Eddie Witt has basically guaranteed that I will NEVER buy another book written by LA Witt.
Good job, Eddie.

AGandyGirl wrote: "Dani wrote: "Btw, I want to point out that Amy Jo Cousins is taking a lot of flak and she's responding exactly how she should when confronted with a victim of her bullying:

https://twitter.com/_AJ..."
THIS is how it is done! Good on Amy Jo Cousins, and I wish other authors would take a page from her book.

Part of why I'm so frustrated with some of the authors who have "apologized" is that it isn't like screwing up (especially publicly) is a new thing. People have been doing it forever, and it isn't like the authors lack the resources to figure out how to interact with people they have wronged. These are people whose very livelihood depends on being able to research, for heaven's sake, but they aren't figuring out how to properly apologize for some reason; apologizing is more than just saying "I apologize" and moving on. It's a process that involves showing that you understand and acknowledge what you did wrong, making amends, and assuring everyone that it won't happen again, too. I can't know why so many authors are having trouble apologizing well, but it isn't sitting well with me.

I borrowed this from Steve Leonard's FB (which posted from Kasia BB's twitter) but it made me laugh. All those template apologies that came out with that anthology:

Promology
/noun/
The art of apologizing while promoting your upcoming release and in result failing to, you know, express your regret in a believable, meaningful way.

#wordoftheweek

Dani wrote: "the same two calling Nikki scum, threatening to throw her out of GRL and sicking their fanbase on them. Neither said a word of apology to Nikki or the others they hurt."

Just to clarify, it wasn't GRL, it was RT they were talking about. And it wasn't about Nikki. It was about Alissa, who they thought was Nikki.

I know that sounds really convoluted, but I wanted to clarify for accuracy.

Susan wrote: "I borrowed this from Steve Leonard's FB (which posted from Kasia BB's twitter) but it made me laugh. All those template apologies that came out with that anthology:

Promology
/noun/
The art of ap..."

YES!!! *steals* ;)

Despite the apologies, I don't think I can ever support the authors involved in this SH fiasco. *sighs*

Lyra wrote: "Part of why I'm so frustrated with some of the authors who have "apologized" is that it isn't like screwing up (especially publicly) is a new thing. People have been doing it forever, and it isn't like the authors lack the resources to figure out how to interact with people they have wronged."

I don't think some of them can see past the whole potential impact to their sales to the part where they actually did something wrong.

Bianca wrote: "Noah, thank you so much for speaking up. When I shared your story many who were on the fence realized what a huge impact this has had, which lead them to read other survivors accounts and finally o..."


Yes, you have my consent to do that. Thank you for asking.

Sakura wrote: "Noah wrote: "Thank you, Susan, for creating this thread. You have no idea how much it's meant to me to see so many stories and people that make me feel less alone in what happened to me.

Also, tha..."

No. Thank YOU for creating a safe place for others to come and share their stories. I had always thought I'd never tell another soul about what happened, and I would never get closure or the validation I now know I needed, but you made that possible for me. Thank you.

My god, I just finished reading the whole thread in one go and I'm shocked !
I've never taken part in the community on GR because I know how forums can become toxic once we're too involved in an online community from past experience. So this is the first time i'll actually interact with anyone here, but I really felt the need to say this (I'm not a native english speaker, sorry if there's any mistake).

I'd usually say that what goes on in an author's private life doesn't concern me and I'll still read the books, and I have a special place in my heart for icos, but I am now questioning that particular decision in light of what I just read.

The whole fraud, cyber-bullying, gaslighting, betraying people's trust then stealing their life stories is horrendous, and my heart goes to every person involved in this mess.
I have been the irl victim of bullying, and I have seen friends become anxious, paranoid and depressed from cyber-bullying (from the past forums mentioned at the beginning of this post) so this hit quite close to home and I've felt my heart break from reading what you all went through.

I know it must have been difficult for all of you to speak up, I wish I could give you a big hug.

Dani wrote: "Btw, I want to point out that Amy Jo Cousins is taking a lot of flak and she's responding exactly how she should when confronted with a victim of her bullying:

https://twitter.com/_AJCousins/statu..."

Now that's an apology I can believe in.

Susan wrote: "I borrowed this from Steve Leonard's FB (which posted from Kasia BB's twitter) but it made me laugh. All those template apologies that came out with that anthology:

Promology
/noun/
The art of ap..."

That's a good word.

Coltostallion wrote: "I would like to know if AIS has said anything about the situation? I haven't seen much, but I was under the impression she and SH has only been acquainted digitally and she could well have had no idea. I would like to know if this is true, though."

Ais hasn't said anything as of this moment. As I understand it, she finished writing an epic length fantasy series and is posting month chapters on her Patreon. (The Patreon has a pay-whatever-you-want system, everyone gets the same access.)

Everything indicates that she never met SH in person and that they drifted apart around the time SH's Sutphin Boulevard was published. I remember SH tweeting about Ais' Patreon a few (like, less than ten) times last year.

She was probably among the people who was catfished the longest due to her collaborating in the ICoS series.

Shelby wrote: "Riptide responded to my email to, for those interested:

Hello Shelby,

It's very sweet of you to ask. Amazon will take the money from us. We can recover some funds from Santino via..."

Thank you for posting this. I will not ask for a refund, tho, not unless it comes directly out of SH pocket :/

First of all, my heart goes to all the victims of this horrible duo and I'm happy to read that most of you are at least on the way of recovery. May you find your peace soon enough.
About the authors that might have been manipulated, if so, they 're still accountable for the consequences of their actions. Susan was. So was Nikki, and Noah, and Dani and so many more. Why should they be exempt? As someone pointed out, they were in a position of power. They not only defended this horrible duo (even if they really believed them), they mobilised their followers against these people. It was worse that whatever Susan and others did when they were on their side.
Sometimes it's really too little too late and when their income is at stake, it's really difficult to not be skeptical of their repentance.
I only read both Barons books and I feel terrible for liking something that was stolen from conversations that were shared in what someone thought was a safe environment.

Noah wrote: "Bianca wrote: "Noah, thank you so much for speaking up. When I shared your story many who were on the fence realized what a huge impact this has had, which lead them to read other survivors account..."

Thank you. It's not much, but your story is being heard. And will continue to be. <3

Ariadna wrote: "Coltostallion wrote: "I would like to know if AIS has said anything about the situation? I haven't seen much, but I was under the impression she and SH has only been acquainted digitally and she co..."

I've been in contact with Ais and I can confirm that most of your assumptions are correct (replace 'drifted apart' with 'ghosted by SH'). She is trying to deal with the fact that she's been lied to, gaslighted, and manipulated by someone she trusted for nineteen years. Her story made me cry, I am sure you can imagine she's not ready to speak in public any time soon, if ever.

Noah wrote: "Sakura wrote: "Noah wrote: "Thank you, Susan, for creating this thread. You have no idea how much it's meant to me to see so many stories and people that make me feel less alone in what happened to..."

Noah, we are so glad you are here.
I hope you can feel the love, support, and strength we are all sending your way.

So one thing I want to point out about the friends of SH who are feeling victimized -- their victimization does not, and will never, excuse "bad" behavior.

Yes, people go through tough things. That doesn't give people a pass to put others there. I just urge people to be careful with condoning certain behaviors in their process of forgiveness. Mind you, I am not stating that these people have not been hurt. That's valid, but so is the hurt of those they hurt in the process. There is a way to support that hurt without condoning the behavior, but it takes awareness in the process.

You do not have to forgive your abuser. That's a misconception. And if you choose to do so because you feel it's best, do it for you. Not for them. Never for them.

I’ve been completely in the dark here and am only NOW [in the last couple of days] finding out (and am STILL finding) out about what’s been happening in our little M/M community :-/!! Information is such a powerful and crucial tool, and WOW it’s been so integral and eye-opening here!! As I read through the threads to best educate myself, while the discovery process is a relatively slow on [i.e. just when I thought things were horrifying enough, there’s another layer of abuse, poison, and deceit to discover], I definitely believe it’s (always) "better late that never" :-/! To say I am absolutely appalled, horrified, and disgusted is a severe understatement [for heaven’s sake, our M/M community needs to catch a HUGE break :-/], and I am so SO glad this post is here!! Thank you, Susan!!
Also, thank you to Nikki on Twitter!

I wanted to post here simply to express steadfast solidarity and support in fighting the good fight against everything that’s so deplorably wrong with this narrative [i.e. SH and everything they’ve done and are doing, their minions, anyone else supporting or perpetuating or exacerbating the malignancy that is SH, everything that comes with him/her/them, and everything they represent]!! Shame on them!!

To the survivors. the champions, and the truth seekers/bringers: Thank you for sharing your stories with all of us, thank you for not giving up or giving in, thank you for speaking up, speaking out, and coming forward!! Most importantly, thank you for sharing the truth!!

#TheTruthWillPrevail #We(TheGood)WillPersevere!!

That's all I had to say :-)!!

One last thing ...
By the way, [*** I didn't want to include this in my main message above, because I wanted to keep this piece of information very VERY separate ***] ...

Someone had mentioned a few pages back that Kade Boehme was one of the authors who spoke up and out. IF that's true, that is nice I suppose, [I haven't seen that post, so I really don’t know if there is one], but I still thought it's important to share a screenshot I managed to capture on Twitter when I was scrolling through Nikki's Twitter page [another important source in exposing the truth]! Has Kade sincerely and genuinely apologized since then?!? If he has, I am very unaware of this!

I’m definitely not trying to cast any negativity but this comment Kade made was so nasty and so incredibly uncalled for, I decided in a thread dedicated to truth and information, it would be very important to share!!



ETA: I believe prevention is the best cure and sometimes apologies really do come too late :-/! For me, though Kade's books aren't my cup of tea at all and I truly hadn't planned on ever reading any more of his books, JUST because of what's happened here, he is one more author I will never read again! The same goes for ANY author who acts this way!! #Blacklisted #TheListContinuesToGrow #JustNO!!

ETA #2 [the LAST one]: I saw his so called "apology"! MmmNO that was NOT an apology! Not even by the most dedicated stretch of the imagination! Once again, #JustNo!!

@Susan, thank you for giving us readers a place to get information & discuss it.

@The victims who were brave enough to fight against being silenced, thank you. A thousand times thank you. I'm so very sorry it took so long to be heard.

My heart goes out to any & all victims involved in this.

WHOA. I was totally in the dark about this. And now that I am not, I'm pretty disgusted with the whole situation. I'll never understand why some people have to resort to this behavior instead of enjoying their success and their amazing fan base and just being GRATEFUL. So very sad.

*~*~*Kael*~*~* wrote: "One last thing ...
By the way, [*** I didn't want to include this in my main message above, because I wanted to keep this piece of information very VERY separate ***] ...

Someone had mentioned a f..."

This shows why so many of us were already blocked by these authors....

*~*~*Kael*~*~* wrote: "One last thing ...
By the way, [*** I didn't want to include this in my main message above, because I wanted to keep this piece of information very VERY separate ***] ...

Someone had mentioned a f..."

He has. Nikki RTd his apology this morning. You can find it in her TL

ETA: I would post a screenshot, but im on my phone and... I dont know how 😂

Here is Sue Brown’s statement in an email she sent around.


On Sun, Mar 11, 2018, at 6:51 AM, Fortune Favours the Romantic wrote:
> Fortune Favours the Romantic
>
> ///////////////////////////////////////////
> Catfisher of the Day
>
> Posted: 10 Mar 2018 07:27 AM PST
> http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/LoveIm...
>
> Okay, this turned into more of a lecture than I'd intended, but now isn't
> the time to be polite. When do we talk about it?
>
> Do you know this Onion headline about school shootings?
>
> ‘No Way To Prevent This,’ Says Only Nation Where This Regularly Happens
>
> Why did I think of this headline? Because the M/M Romance genre has its own
> version. Every few months another catfisher is exposed. We could have an
> entire Catfish series on our genre alone.
>
> I'm a cynic at heart. I've not been surprised by any of our past exposures.
> Maybe the first one I remember, but once upon a time I was naive to the
> games people play online. In fact one of the earliest times I'd suspected
> a 'family' were catfishers, but they'd faded away over the years. When the
> perpetrator was exposed as a middle-aged woman, most reactions were "Who?"
> Only the old-timers could remember them, and they'd all guessed anyway. I'm
> damn sure there are more catfishers operating and they will be exposed in
> due course.
>
> Having said all that, the exposure of Santino Hassell as a husband and wife
> scam team shocked the hell out of me. I thought he was just a toxic
> arsehole - yes, I've had my issues. Because 'he' blocked me on social
> media, I had no idea 'he' was manipulating, gaslighting, ghosting, and
> scamming people out of thousands of dollars per month.Sometimes being
> blocked is a really good thing. My respect and sympathy to the legion of
> people affected by this pair over many years.
>
> These are links if you want to read more.
>
> Read here for accounts from victims.
> Read here for proof of 'his' assholishness
> Read here for a WTF thread from many of his victims
> His publishers have withdrawn his books. You can find their statements on
> these links.
>
> Let me say that I believe whoever wrote the books was a talented author.
> Shame they couldn't have been moral with it.
>
> Let's go back to the M/M romance genre as a whole. Why are we so
> susceptible to catfishing? Like the Onion headline, I've been thinking
> about this a lot. I'm going to write mainly at the women here, and leave
> the guys to do their own talking.
>
> We write about gay men, we write about romance, we write about happy ever
> afters and men who've had/have trauma in their lives. And we as authors and
> readers are primarily (middle-aged) women. The last I think is what makes
> us so vulnerable.
>
> This next section is harsh. I'm sorry, but I think it need to be said. We
> think with our hearts, and not our heads.
>
> We're in the business of romance and that's what scammers sell us.
>
> We want to believe we're talking to two young men blissfully in love, a gay
> couple adopting vulnerable teens, a cute bi dude with a serious illness who
> needs help. We don't see photos or any evidence but we accept the
> increasingly bizarre stories they feed us because we want to believe happy
> ever afters can be real with a bit of help from us, being it online
> friendship, gifts and/or cold hard cash.
>
> This is not friendship.This is cold business and we are the marks.
>
> It doesn't mean you shouldn't help people. I do, as often as I can. But
> maybe look at where your money is going. Do you know it to be real?
>
> We listen to the authoritative male voice of the catfishers because that's
> what women are supposed to do; gay male authors telling women where we're
> getting it wrong, be books or allyship. They are men with lived experience
> after all. Yes, this is true, we should listen. But who are we listening
> to, the voices of gay/bi/trans men, or catfishers?
>
> I don't believe we are 'owed' photos and there are many good reasons for
> not putting yourself out on social media, be it family, social, work etc.
> But I also think these days it's increasingly rare not to find one or two
> photos, or people who have met them. Of course the Hassell scammers had
> the 'meeting the cute dude' thing sorted, as they were husband and wife.
> Dear God, that's a cold one.
>
> In the recent case of Hassell, GBT men were also sucked in and used
> abominably (see Noah's account). The way I see it, they used men as weapons
> in the campaign to suck money out their target audience, to be discarded
> when they had finished with them. Let me say this again, the men were used
> for their lived experiences, for what they could get out of them.
>
> I don't know what I'm asking for here. Maybe a bit of caution in future?
> The old saying 'if it looks too good to be true it probably is' is true.
> The illness, the tragic deaths, even the overwhelming happiness - does it
> look like real life?
>
> If you see a friend acting like a toxic arsehole and isolating others,
> think about it carefully. Don't take everything they say at face value.
> It's not easy to tell but please think about it. Gaslighting seems to be
> like breathing to some people.
>
> Finally, each and every time this happens someone starts ranting about
> women writing M/M. Women get naturally defensive. Men get frustrated
> because their valid concerns are being drowned out. This is destroying us.
>
> Each time another fake is exposed, it hurts our genre, it hurts our authors
> and readers, and it damn well hurts our sales. We are a small genre and we
> deserve better, but we can only change it ourselves.
>
>

Gaby wrote: "*~*~*Kael*~*~* wrote: "One last thing ...

So..."

Thanks Gaby. I read it, but for me it’s a case of “rinse and repeat” for KB - been there/done that and it happens all over again when he blows up

we had the (ex) president of our country saying that there are no "homosexuals" in Iran ... I've heard people calling being queer sickness...some (most ) of the homosexuals in my country change their gender because while homosexuality is considered a shameful choice, transsexuality is thought of as a curable mental illness... the word "homosexual" is like Voldemort's name , no one dares say it ... if i ever come out my family will kill me before the government can do it. and my friends call me crazy for reading queer books.despite all of it i loved lgbt community , the books and i would defend it to a extent which would not cost my head(and that's a lot , considering the mindwhashing that is going on in Iran). and this debacle hurt me more than any of those things above, cause i really loved his books .i can't still believe it. it's a nightmare. and the worst part is i feel ashamed of myself for liking him.

deleted user wrote: "we had the (ex) president of our country saying that there are no "homosexuals" in Iran ... I've heard people calling being queer sickness...some (most ) of the homosexuals in my country change the..."

I am so sorry to read about your disenchantment. I have gay Southern Russian friends, who face similar problems, so I can understand your background a little bit.

Please let me state something which - I think - in this respect needs to be said again, namely that "m/m romance" may overlap in (smallish) places with "QUILTBAG romance" and with "gay romance/erotica/fiction", but it only overlaps. It is not at all congruent.

What is more, "m/m romance" was conceived as and born as a genre (mainly) written by women for (mainly) women. It has similar roots as yaoi and fanfic slash, and not so many antecedents in gay literature (of any kind).

I see this conflated a lot lately, and it really shouldn't be (yes, I know, one major culprit there is Amazon who places both in the same subgenre). This is noteworthy for QUILTBAG readers and writers, because this very conflation created a lot of friction in recent years between the original writer/readership of m/m romance and the QUILTBAG faction entering it.

By which I mean, please look out for gay and QUILTBAG literature, for I know many QUILTBAG friends feeling quite a bit more comfortable with those genres.

Edited to anonymise your name, as you wished it to be. I hope you will sign on again with a new name, and enjoy reading again as an anonymous user.

How heartbreaking an occurrence for someone like you!

deleted user wrote: "we had the (ex) president of our country saying that there are no "homosexuals" in Iran ... I've heard people calling being queer sickness...some (most ) of the homosexuals in my country change the..."

Kosar....what can one say to a post like that?? I hope that nothing has happened, but PLEASE, do not let 'him' win by saying you feel ashamed for liking him. Many people fell victim to his persuasive words and general f**k the world attitude. Most people did not know the real person behind the SH mask. 😕 It's all on him, his wife and their little band of bullying sycophants.

Heidi Cullinan also made an statement and expressed her support for the readers and especialy those affected by SH in a Patreon post: https://www.patreon.com/posts/humble-...

On the other hand... there's Sadie Sins, who has spinned around the whole issue with SH in order to blame the readers and those affected by saying basically that readers have only made up all the info uncovered and their personal accounts about what SH did to them because readers (especially those on the MM romance, it appears) are sexists and have gone after this SH persona only because "she's a woman and not a (gay/bi) man": http://www.sadiesinsbooks.com/current...

Aaaaanyway, I know who I'm not gonna read from now. It makes me sick how disregarding can be some people about the pain SH has caused. Like, she's totally missing the point. Ugh. Sigh.

Janova wrote: "Heidi Cullinan also made an statement and expressed her support for the readers and especialy those affected by SH in a Patreon post: https://www.patreon.com/posts/humble-...

On the ..."

Wow!! And Sadie Sims makes it to the “Oh Hell No” list...

ETA: I screen-shotted that entire post... no more letting things disappear, what a (nope, not using that word)

AND I just posted the link to FB just to make sure she gets LOTS of visibility ... yes, I’m evil like that

Paul wrote: "Here's a copy and paste of Eddie Witt's (LA Witt's husband) post, I'll probably get blocked for this, but f**k it:

Eddie Witt
43 mins ·

I am no stranger to the SH story currently blowing up on T..."

This was so uncalled for!!
I don't see his post anymore. Was it deleted??

LenaLena wrote: "Ariadna wrote: "Coltostallion wrote: "I would like to know if AIS has said anything about the situation? I haven't seen much, but I was under the impression she and SH has only been acquainted digi..."

That's what I was afraid of :( Thank you for letting me know, I was always more of an Ais fan than SH and when this went down she was the first person I thought of. I can't bring myself to dislike ICOS because it wasn't all him and I love Ais' writing.

Josy wrote: "Paul wrote: "Here's a copy and paste of Eddie Witt's (LA Witt's husband) post, I'll probably get blocked for this, but f**k it:

Eddie Witt
43 mins ·

Did this get deleted?."

It appears so, I can’t find it. I know Nikki called it out....

Janova wrote: "Heidi Cullinan also made an statement and expressed her support for the readers and especialy those affected by SH in a Patreon post: https://www.patreon.com/posts/humble-...

On the ..."

I contacted Sadie Sins and explained about the fraud and use of other peoples’ trauma for profit and gave her this link. So it’s not like she does not have the information available.

Paul wrote: "Janova wrote: "Heidi Cullinan also made an statement and expressed her support for the readers and especialy those affected by SH in a Patreon post: https://www.patreon.com/posts/humble-......"

Amazonaute wrote: "Janova wrote: "Heidi Cullinan also made an statement and expressed her support for the readers and especialy those affected by SH in a Patreon post: https://www.patreon.com/posts/humble-......"

I hardly use any social media, so I could only share Sadie's post here at least. Thanks for further sharing it, Paul. I was livid while reading what she said because wtf?! It seems like Megan Derr already tried to reason with her but had no luck. Lisa Henry is also trying. I hope she listens to them and also reads what is being said here before making any more assumptions and keeps blaming readers/victims. Thanks, Amazonaute.

Okay, I don't think it's my place to judge and I definitely don't think it's my place to speak for the survivors but I still need to say a few things. Please correct me if I'm wrong or just ignore me but...

1. Don't tell victims how to feel!!!!
You think the authors/fans involved need time to process what has happened? Fine. But don't think all the survivors don't need the same time. Yes, for some of them this has been known for years. They have been experiencing cruelty from SH and his followers for years!! And no, those years weren't enough to come to terms with what has happened to them. Not even close. I bet most of them can only now start the long process of healing after their attacker/abuser has been exposed. They have endured years of mockery and name-calling and worse. Don't condemn or judge them because they are getting angry now when they see those so-called apologies. It's part of their healing process and every survivor has the right to get better on their own terms and in their own time. Don't judge them or belittle them for being angry at what you have done to them for years! And for God's sake don't compare them to SH!!!!! Being disappointed and angry and yes, even name-calling is nothing compared to what SH has done to them. IMO it's the cruelest thing ever to compare a survivor to their abuser! Just.Don't!

Most of them just want an honest apology. Not "I'm sorry for everything I have done." Be honest about what exactly you have done, address the people you have hurt directly. If you have forgotten who they are or what you've said/done, there are many screenshots of it.
Many survivors have done it in this thread and authors who had nothing to do with this situation have done it. Why can't authors/supporters who were involved do the same and get it right? If you don't want to do it publicly, which would be kinda ironic because the attacking and name-calling happened publicly too, get in contact with those people you have hurt and be sincere. Don't think about sales you might be loosing, think about the hurt and angst and anxiety you have helped create.

2. Don't forget who is to blame
Don't blame people who helped expose this scam! They aren't responsible for what has happened. They have done this community a great service and we should be thankful because they have prevented that even more people get abused by SH.
SH has cut all ties and left his former "friends" and supporters to take the blame. No matter on what side you stand, don't forget who really is to blame for all this. SH has f*cked us all over - supporters, "friends" and victims alike. Be angry at SH and not at each other.

3. (Continue to) Spread the word
I kinda want all authors to know this but I have no platform to spread it so...
Even a few days after Riptide's statement, there are still readers out there who have no idea what's going on. In every new post someone makes about it, there are still many people who've never heard of what's been happening. Spread the word!!! You have a voice and you have the means to reach many people at once. You have newsletters, a Twitter and FB following, reader groups. Don't be silent and spread the word! Make people aware of what has happened so that they are better prepared when the next catfisher tries to prey on them. You don't have to make a big statement if you don't want to but at least give your readers/fans the opportunity to inform themselves by sharing links. It's important and if we are really lucky, someone might recognize the pattern and can stop something like this from happening again way sooner than in this case.
Thank you to the authors who have done so already and stand by the survivors!! But we need more of you - all of you!

4. Listen
So much pain could have been avoided when people had listened sooner. You hear something you don't like or don't believe? Fine. But don't go around silencing and intimidating people. Ask questions and then pass judgment. Don't attack before you know what is what.


So yeah... Many words but I spent last night thinking about this instead of sleeping and I apologize for subjecting you to my ramblings.

Amazonaute wrote: "I contacted Sadie Sins and explained about the fraud and use of other peoples’ trauma for profit and gave her this link. So it’s not like she does not have the information available. ."

Before she posted??

Josy wrote: "Okay, I don't think it's my place to judge and I definitely don't think it's my place to speak for the survivors but I still need to say a few things. Please correct me if I'm wrong or just ignore ..."

I think you worded that very well Josy, thank you. It's disheartening to see the non-apologies, the accusations against the victims like you described and the deafening silence from people who have a voice/platform but just want the 'drama' to go away.

Does anyone know if there are still people out there defending SH or has everyone now seen the light?

I'm really wondering how all his/her supports have responded to his confession that yes, he is actually married. Did they buy his/her whole speech about them being a victim? Did anyone buy the whole medical bills crap? Did anyone ever comment about his refusal to address his 'cancer'?

Yvonne wrote: "I think you worded that very well Josy, thank you.."

Thank you!
This is not something that can be silenced IMO. We need everyone to know about this and I'm so disappointed that a lot of authors don't address it because they want the drama to go away like you said. It's not that hard to say "Hey folks, be cautious and keep your eyes open". It's not the first time a catfisher preyed on this community and the more people know what to look for, the better.

Susan wrote: "Just to clarify, it wasn't GRL, it was RT they were talking about. And it wasn't about Nikki. It was about Alissa, who they thought was Nikki.

I know that sounds really convoluted, but I wanted to clarify for accuracy. ."


Glad you corrected me. Accuracy is important <3

Susan wrote: "Does anyone know if there are still people out there defending SH or has everyone now seen the light?

I'm really wondering how all his/her supports have responded to his confession that yes, he is..."

There are still people who believe this is a big conspiracy by a disgruntled ex fan and a witch hunt to destroy SH's livelihood.
You will (generic you) never change the minds of people who are willingly blind.

All we can do as a community is support the victims and spread the word and thank those who had the courage to keep trying to tell their truth.

*edited to further clarify who Eddie is*
Let's switch the narrative a bit, shall we? First let's start with the use of the word "doxer" when referring to Nikki and the #nastybirdsL: just don't will you? Nikki is a researcher, an investigator she single handedly spearheaded a thorough research of a scam and is mainly responsible for bringing it to light and exposing criminal behaviour. She is not the bad guy here, nor are the #nastybirds nor are the ones of us who stood up to be counted.
Many of us have been dealing with this alone for years, we do not owe anybody niceness or understanding of *your* plight!

Lets talk about the false apologies and the hand wringing too. And lets name names: because I firmly believe that many an issue in this community arise from people not feeling safe to openly speak up.

Many of these "apologies" are as useful as an ashtray on a fuckin motorbike: they are designed to make the abusers feel sorry for themselves, to give them a redemption arc in a narrative in which they were strong villainous characters. And you know what? they do not get to jump centre stage and become the main characters or jump onthe wagon and get kudos. Words, actions have consequences! And they were big enough to bully and name call and censor so now they are big enough to take said consequences. I have had it!
Megan Ericsson is a bully: there is no mistaking her name calling, her relentless inciting hate and suppression and censorship for "oh poor me I was only defending my friend"! A pox to that: when you have thousand of followers and can reach thousand more and you rally the cult "to go and report the scumbags" "to go and demand GR takes down this thread" you are consciously using your power to hurt and to censor.
She doesn't get to say leave me out of this, forget about me when she didn't do us the same courtesy. The vitriol, the acid hate she poured over me at the end of 2016 still hurts and I can only imagine what this is doing to Nikki and the #nastybirds

Eddie C. from twitter the lilly livered antipodean, a misogynist, a coward and a bona fide bully has been insulting, gaslighting, fomenting hatred since the instant he showed up in this community: he called himself humbled but instead of actually apologising in detail to the people he relentlessly tortured (never face to face the coward!) he deleted his account no doubt to go and re invent himself elsewhere. And let's not forget that while he was publicly behaving like the horrid person he is he was getting to beta and be named by some of the "greatest" in the genre.
Avon Gale, Vanessa North, Piper Vaughn, Roan Parrish and LA Witt did not issue apologies they issued centering statements to make themselves victims: and hear this: NO FUCKIN WAY! Not happening, not on my watch. I let it happen to me but I'll be damned if I let it happen to others who have been brave and relentless in their pursuit of the truth.
I would start suggesting that they look at Amy Jo Cousin and how she handled her part or the honest, no excuse attached manner in which TJ Klune took responsibility for his part.

There will be no healing of this community if the writers and readers who wronged others for years do not use their platforms to lead honest discussions of how they are were wrong and how they are going to do better.

And if you are tone policing victims? SHAME ON YOU!
If you are still calling them names and worst of all infatilising them and dismissing them a la LA Witt and her husband? SHAME ON YOU.
If you are making wild, obnoxious accusations as Vanessa North is so that this becomes about you: SHAME ON YOU.


What you read, continue reading or whom you continue to support is your choice but do not come here and condescend about it. I for one believe in my right to be angry and to not use my money to ever ever support any of these people. They crossed a line, they keep doing so and I will not stand for it any longer.

On the other hand a debt of gratitude is due to the authors in the genre who have come out to stand with the readers in a selfless open and honest manner: we needed you and you did not fail us. Dani Alexander shared personal details and while reeling from the loss of a friend he did not lash out at Nikki or anybody else. He listened and aided and supported. Take example.
Many in the writing community have spoke up and supported: these are the people whom in return I will support.
I have no time or desire to continue to propagate the appalling behaviour which has been going on in this community for years and if that means starting with a bad and good list so be it!

Susan wrote: "I'm really wondering how all his/her supports have responded to his confession that yes, he is..."

Speaking as someone who was a fan for years, my support was lost somewhere along the way 2-3 days ago. To be honest, yes, I didn't believe at first, but then again I'll willingly admit I've had close relationships with some of the authors he was close to, so I chose to believe them. BUT I never once spoke out against anyone on either side. Was my silence complicity? Definitely. I own that, and always will. I've changed the error of my ways and actually looked into what was being said though, and researched what was actually going on. And once I did? My stomach churned and I knew I couldn't support him anymore.

I'm not sure if this has been brought up before, but I don't think so. In case it was already discussed and I missed it, just ignore me.

Have you seen the reply Vanessa North made on Amy Jo Cousins post on FB?

https://www.facebook.com/amyjo.cousin...

"I love you, my friend. I said it privately and I’ll say it publicly too—he took advantage of your heart. A kind heart is never something to regret. I’m thinking of you."

Has she "changed her mind" and now she believes it's all true, but still hasn't apologized, or what?

Elena wrote: "Has she "changed her mind" and now she believes it's all true, but still hasn't apologized, or what? "

Just looking at her statement on her own FB it's unclear, but definitely no apology there for her own actions.

"This is probably the only public statement I'm going to make about Santino Hassell:

People I have known and trusted for a long time personally vouched for him, having met him. Because of the insular nature of the M/M community and how interconnected things are, some of the people who spoke out against him had been physically and/or psychologically abusive to me personally. I believed the people I trusted, and didn't believe the people who had been abusive to me.

Right now? I'm hurt. I'm confused. I feel unsafe. I don't know who to trust or who to believe and I'm not going to make a public performance of my grief and pain over what amounts to the loss of a friend--perhaps more than one.

No matter how you feel about this situation, please respect that some of us are genuinely grieving a loss."

https://www.facebook.com/vanessa.nort...

I also can't help but wonder, she claims here to have been physically attacked. WTF is that about?

Josy wrote: "Amazonaute wrote: "I contacted Sadie Sins and explained about the fraud and use of other peoples’ trauma for profit and gave her this link. So it’s not like she does not have the information availa..."

No. I got the email from her bemoaning the way poor sh was being victimised for using a pen name. I emailed back explaining briefly that there was a bit more to it.

Amazonaute wrote: "No. I got the email from her bemoaning the way poor sh was being victimised for using a pen name. I emailed back explaining briefly that there was a bit more to it. ..."

Thanks for clarifying! I read the comments under her post on her website when Megan Derr and Lisa Henry tried to tell her what's really going on and well... I think there's no way to make her see.