Cameron > Recent Status Updates

"'She's grieving for him, I think. And I've no wish to persuade her against her will. I have not asked her to marry me, and I shall not do so...'
And when he went, he pressed my hand so kindly I really wished I could have loved him after all."

"Balanced on its haunches, your rocking chair isn't rocking anymore. It can't, alone, be fully what it is."

"Like, how many people do you have to kill to make the jump from serial killer to mass murderer?" These are two entirely different things, Chuck.

"For instance, if Jesus Christ has died in prison, with no one watching and with no one there to mourn or torture him, would we be saved?"

"You're going up and up and up and not getting anywhere. It's the illusion of progress What you want to think is your salvation. What people forget is a journey to nowhere starts with a single step, too."

"The smoke hot and dense inside me feels the way I would feel if I had a soul."

"The smoke hot and dense inside me feels the way I would feel if I had a soul."

"In her head, there's a picture of Trevor and me dancing together. Laughing together. Having anal sex. This is the handicap I'm up against, this and the idea I killed her brother." Yeah, maybe don't try and seduce the sister of the guy you encouraged to shoot himself (and now thinks you two were a thing). Just an idea.

"It's music as wallpaper, utilitarian, music as Prozac or Xanax to control how you feel. Music as aerosol room freshener."

"The speakerphone yells, 'What's there left to do?' I ignore the speaker phone because there's nothing left to do. Almost nothing's left. And maybe this is just a trick of the light, but I've eaten almost the whole lobster before I notice the heart beat." NOOOOPE. OHMYGOD NO NOT OKAY

"I tell him, Go ahead. I'm only half awake. It's three in the morning, and I have work tomorrow. I tell him, Hurry before I fall back asleep, pull the trigger." Page numbers are backwards, main character is INSANE, and I'm kicking myself for not picking this up sooner.

"He had no choice, he had told her, and then he left, choosing."

"'My wet nurse said the same thing, Will,' Royce replied. 'Never believe anything you hear at a woman's tit.'" So, page one, and we're off to a good start. I expect I'll be too infuriated to finish.

"I hadn't even thought of it as a story before this, but now I could see that it was actually a very exciting story, full of drama and chlorine and other things that [they] didn't have firsthand knowledge of."

"I was still happy to sit there beside him, but that is only because I have very, very low expectations of most people, and he had now become Most People."

"He thinks how he could die here. Be killed. Start doing drugs and then do the job himself. Just get old... and all of a sudden, how badly he wants what he's not had, all of it, even not knowing what it is!"

"'Do my a favor?' he says, 'Sniff my nuts?' … 'Please, my life depends on it.' Wouldn't you know it? This would happen only after I found out I was heterosexual."

"If captured, they were trained to casually chew the curved earpieces, where fatal doses of cyanide were cast inside the plastic. It's these same horn-rimmed suicide glasses... All those young hipsters wearing death on their nose."

"Periodic shortages of bees emphasized the radical notion that perhaps it would be good to emulate the Egyptians and the Greeks and nurture the bees rather than murder them."

Honey birds chirp and lead badgers, people, and other honey lovers to the hive. "'When the honey is removed, a part must be left, otherwise, so the Zulus say, the next time the bird will guide the man following it not to honey, but, in order to take revenge, to a leopard or a black mamba...'"

"'They indulge not in conjugal embraces, nor idly unnerve their bodies in love, or bring forth young with travail, but of themselves gather their children in their mouths from leaves and sweet herbs.'" It'd be sweet if he doesn't go on to say bees come from rotting bull carcasses.

"With a fertile monarch in residence, the female worker bees persecute the drones by withholding food and sometimes gnawing off their wings and legs in an effort to evict them. Most go willingly and she outside in a few days' time." BEES ARE NOT GREAT.

"Males, or drones, can't fly well, and they don't gather food, clean, sting, secrete wax, or care for the young... A few succeed in mating with [the queen], but those lucky few she soon afterward, their barbed generals having broken off during copulation." Why do they keep guys around?? All they do is take up honey and get laid. And are those "lucky few" /really/ lucky?

"The most popular [theory on what smoke does to bees] is that it alarms the inhabitants, which suspect a forest fire and then hide in the combs of the hive, bingeing on honey until they become passive with sugar and fear." Something bad happening? Just eat and accept it. Man, bees are great.

"You open our fridge, and inside you'll find sheets of labia, leftover lengths of thigh or butt cheek, same as the kitchen of Jeffrey Dahmer." Oh, being a baker sounds exciting.

"A young carpet-seeder. Number 72. Same eyes as her, same mouth. Nice. Not somebody who'd bite off your nipple."

"These chicken chokers. Didn't bother to read any feminist theory beyond that outdated Andrea Dworkin tripe... No, whether a woman is a concubine to fuck or a damsel to redeem, she's always just some passive object to fulfill a man's purpose."

"Standing so close the dripping head of the pud-pullet's dick touches my hip. Soft as a kiss. A ting battering ram." Palahniuk's imagery never fails to amaze me.