leni > Recent Status Updates

Dear Silence, how do I enter you, seeking answers, but come out writing into and toward ambiguity? How do I live the questions, as Rilke says in Letters to a Young Poet. How many times have I looked so hard for someone’s eyes to catch mine that I disappeared? That feels like writing. That feels like living the question.

DNF @ 30%

...like two months ago. one or three days after i started reading ig ?? :[ just putting it here cuz its stressing me out seeing this book completely abandoned. and im trying to organize my dnf shelf. i hope i wont be 'DNF-ing' many more books on here (jokes on me⚰️ send prayers ppl)

LOVING it. i love how kafka's longing for his milenka overflows in and after every minor sentence

i actually started reading it a few days ago but this type of letter is so emotionally overwhelming — so i REALLY need to take my time. and i would say that this first portion of correspondence is highly draining

guys..haha..wtf are THOSE sequences..

the world amidst a pandemic:
me, out of nowhere: sure lemme read it real quick 🤲

3.5 ★
...maybe? im conflicted. and if u saw me crying no u didnt ❤️

my feelings will definitely not be briefly about this one. that you're not a monster quote?? just punch me in the face

"Each one of us continues to carry the heart of each self we’ve ever been, at every stage along the way, and a chaos of everything good and rotten. And we have to carry this weight all alone, through each day that we live. We try to be as nice as we can to the people we love, but we alone support the weight of ourselves."

so many sea descriptions i cant believe banana yoshimoto knows me so well

"I wanted her because she was as beautiful as a warm afternoon with the sun on the rocks."

"What to say? That the end of love is a haunting. A haunting of dreams. A haunting of silence. Haunted by ghosts it is easy to become a ghost. Life ebbs. The pulse is too faint. Nothing stirs you. Some people approve of this and call it healing. It is not healing. A dead body feels no pain."

no thoughts head empty. just poetry. and Yearning

"You never give away your heart; you lend it from time to time. If it were not so how could we take it back without asking?"

"What does it say in the tea-leaves? Nothing but a capital L."

but like. try being a hopeless romantic reading jeanette winterson.

"Whether it was the quality of light, or the clarity of my feelings for you, I don’t know, but there was softness and no blurring. ‘This is not a lie,’ I said to myself. ‘It may not hold, but it is true.’"

"‘This is love,’ you said, and I know you were joking, but I hoped you meant it."

the ending of this book????? the i love you quote??????? thats definitely my kind of Thing.

"We are lucky, even the worst of us, because daylight comes."

"You sat down and I noticed your hands – long fingers, articulated at the joints; if you touched me, what would happen?"

"That first night, in the unsteady single bed, I lay awake while you slept. I was listening to the unfamiliar noises, and thinking about the miracle of the most unfamiliar of them all – you breathing next to me."

"What should I do about the wild and the tame? The wild heart that wants to be free, and the tame heart that wants to come home. I want to be held. I don’t want you to come too close. I want you to scoop me up and bring me home at nights. I don’t want to tell you where I am. I want to keep a place among the rocks where no one can find me. I want to be with you."

"What I remember is love – all love – love of this dirt road, this sunrise, a day by the river, the stranger I met in a cafe. Myself, even, which is the hardest thing of all to love, because love and selfishness are not the same thing. It is easy to be selfish. It is hard to love who I am. No wonder I am surprised if you do."

so yeah. im enjoying it too much.

What should I do about the wild and the tame? The wild heart that wants to be free, and the tame heart that wants to come home. I want to be held. I don’t want you to come too close. I want you to scoop me up and bring me home at nights. I don’t want to tell you where I am. I want to keep a place among the rocks where no one can find me. I want to be with you."

"‘Keep me by you,’ he said. It was almost a prayer, but like most of us he prayed for one thing, and set his life on course for elsewhere."

"This one, when he had been waiting for her, and when he had seen her before she had seen him, and he was able to watch her, as only strangers can and lovers long to do."

"Can you leave someone and be with them? She thought you could."

fuck my life.

“You mean you’re going to stay here, Rallick? Just sit there on that... that stump?” this is me. this is literally me reading malazan.

FUCK ganoes paran all my homies hate ganoes paran. crokus and toc are the only babies out there