Charlie Fenton > Recent Status Updates

‘I sent the Prince of Wales a letter of condolence and told him how I hoped he knew how much his father had loved and admired him. I told him about a conversation I had had with Patricia Mountbatten (Philip’s cousin, Charles’s godmother) in which she said to me, ‘He loves him so much, but he won’t tell him. I wonder if he’s ever told him.’ I don’t think Philip ever told his son he loved him.’

‘soon evident to the inner circle that Tony was cleverer at being nasty, prepared to go to all manner of lengths to upset and wrong-foot his wife. Tony even resorted to writing cruel one-liners, such as 'You're fat and I hate vou' which he tucked away in her glove drawer, among her hankies, or inside her books. There was such a paper blizzard of unpleasantness that she couldn't bring herself to open her chest’

‘princess had made a cry for help by overdosing on pills and alcohol. The previous weekend, Margaret had telephoned a friend while he was hosting a party. She threatened that if he did not check on her immediately, she would throw herself from her bedroom window. The friend frantically phoned the Queen at Sandringham, who replied calmly, ‘Carry on with your house party. Her bedroom is on the ground floor.’’

‘’Don’t you ever get tired of it?’ I asked. ‘People are always very friendly,’ she said. ‘Not always,’ I went on, rather tactlessly. ‘Someone once took pot shots at you.’ ‘Thank you for reminding me,’ she replied, with a short laugh. ‘I think he had a few problems – and they were blanks. No one was hurt.’’

‘Never to stoop. Oh sir, she smiled, no doubt,
Whene’er I passed her; but who passed without
Much the same smile? This grew; I gave commands;
Then all smiles stopped together. There she stands
As if alive. Will’t please you rise? We’ll meet
The company below, then. I repeat.’

Browning’s ‘then all smiles stopped together’ line always haunted me.

My Last Duchess was one of my favourite poems in high school, so haunting and tragic. Of course, I know this book will end badly for Lucrezia.

‘So easily forgotten, in the moment, the principle of maternal impression. Later, she will chastise herself for her distraction, her inattention. It has been drummed into her by physicians and priests alike, that the character of a child is determined by the mother’s thoughts at the moment of conception.’

‘Waiting! Waiting! Interminable waiting—for life to begin, for life to end. How ironic that even in the face my execution, Henry still left me waiting, as if six long years had not exacted enough from me. How strange to dance between life and death? Not so far removed that I could leave behind all earthly suffering, but not so far in death’s embrace to know the ultimate bliss.’

‘She did not immediately go herself. It was nine days before she appeared in person in Aberfan. ‘It was a mistake,’ Charteris told me, ‘and one she regrets. The scale of the tragedy called for an immediate response, but she is not a spontaneous person and she is not given to emotional gestures. Custom, form and precedent count with her. She tends to do what she has done before.’’

‘In that moment, a certain irony occurred to me; that if Thomas Cromwell had not torn Anne from the king and remained loyal to his mistress, he might not have strayed into the debacle of the disastrous Cleves’ marriage, which would leave him vulnerable to his enemies. But I dared not speak of any of this. It all lay in the future.’

‘I deliberately flaunted all of Anne’s most flattering accomplishments before Henry’s eyes, while keeping them well out of his reach. ‘Noli me tangere’ was truly Anne’s motto, but it was the king who was denied access to my heart on this occasion. It was wrong and foolish of me to do so. In my hurt, I placed innocent men—my friends—in the path of extreme danger.‘

‘Whereas before I would only ever be met with love, admiration and awe, I began to see a chilling menace alight in my husband’s eyes. Sometimes, I felt that it was if he was looking upon a stranger, his enemy even. Yet, there was also confusion. I watched his mind struggle with a metamorphosis in our love that he could not understand.’

‘Once again Philip went on the attack, telling TV interrogator Jeremy Paxman: ‘As far as I am concerned, every time I talk to a woman they say I've been to bed with her - as if she had no say in the matter. Well, I'm bloody flattered at my age to think some girl is interested in me. It's absolutely cuckoo.’’

‘The Queen's tour itself was gruelling.
She and Prince Philip travelled over 43,000 miles by sea, air and train. During the visit the Queen gave 102 speeches - Queen Mary by contrast only gave two speeches in her life - and was personally introduced to more than thirteen thousand people. These statistics alone vividly demonstrate how the monarchy had changed since the reign of King George V and Queen Mary’

‘Townsend thought Lascelles was joking, but soon enough the realization sank in that he was being exiled for the crime of falling in love with the Queen's sister. He considered it an almost medieval punishment, especially as Lascelles knew full well that he had sole custody of his young boys. Harried by Lascelles to choose quickly, he picked Brussels, as it was the nearest to his sons' boarding school in Kent.’

‘Advent calendars have to come with gifts - chocolates normally, but you can get perfumes, miniature bottles of alcohol, or jewellery. In 2019, Tiffany & Co. unveiled the world's most expensive Advent calendar. It cost f104,000 and consisted of a four-foot-high cupboard with twenty-five drawers containing all the jewel lery a Russian oligarch's trophy wife could ever need.’

Audiobook version, not on here. (Wish they would let us make one in the app).

‘abandoned Anne to fend for herself as best as she could. A sinister heaviness took shape in my breast. Whilst the King avowed his love for Anne Boleyn, showered her with fabulous jewels and other riches, written songs in her honour and poetry that glorified her divine womanhood, the simple and awful truth was that, at the first sign of trouble, Henry had fled without her, with scant regard for her safety.’

‘Unexpectedly, I found my gaze locked with that of the Queen who, unbeknownst to me, had been standing watching us as we awaited His Majesty's arrival. It was a private moment, shared between two women who were locked in a vicious and deadly battle for the love of one man. Katherine looked down on me imperiously with a fury in her eyes that she saved only for Anne.’

‘In hindsight, the timing of Henry's pursuit of his annulment to Katherine couldn't have been worse. Had Henry sought his divorce just a couple of years earlier, the outcome for England, and for Anne, might have been very different. Without the need to please Katherine's nephew, the Pope may well have moved to grant Henry his annulment without fuss.‘

alcohol is cunning, baffling, and powerful . . . but I would also add that it’s patient. As soon as you raise your hand and say, “I’m having a problem,” it’s as though addiction says, “Well, if you’re going to be so stupid as to say something about it, I’ll go away for a while. . . .” I’ll be in a rehab for three months and think, Well, I’m going to use when I get out of here, but I can wait

‘With that we hugged, and I got the work done. I married Monica and got driven back to the treatment center—at the height of my highest point in Friends, the highest point in my career, the iconic moment on the iconic show—in a pickup truck helmed by a sober technician.
Not all the lights were green on Sunset that night, let me tell ya.’

‘So I didn’t ask. I was too scared, or broken, or bent. I had remained completely faithful to her the whole time, including the last two years, two years in which for some reason I didn’t want to have sex with her anymore, two years in which no amount of couples therapy could explain why I’d never asked the damn question, and why now I just looked on her as my best friend only. My buddy; my best buddy.‘

One last note for this point: those criticising the writing, but this is his first (I believe) book and what everyone has wanted for hears. Surely some blame has to be put on the editors? He is just telling his life story here.

Continue from my last note: he also has nothing but praise for the people who put up with him, especially the women, and his co-stars. He admires David a lot for renegotiating contracts so everyone was on the same salary (David was making the most). I admire how honest he is, but I see why some don’t like it, perhaps because he is too open?

Reviews have criticised him for being a womaniser and full of self pity. From what I’ve gathered so far, he has confidence issues (hence the breaking up with women because he felt he wasn’t good enough and they would leave him) and the obvious drug and drink problems. Don’t think he pities himself, he calls himself stupid a lot, but I wouldn’t say pity. It feels more like reading a diary than a book though.

‘Turned out Julia had been offered the post–Super Bowl episode in season two and she would only do the show if she could be in my story line. Let me say that again—she would only do the show if she could be in my storyline. (Was I having a good year or what?) But first, I had to woo her.’

‘Hank Azaria thought it was so good he auditioned for it twice, for the role of Joey. That’s right—he auditioned for it, got passed on, begged and pleaded to go in again, and got passed on again. (Later, Hank would be Phoebe’s romantic interest for a few episodes, performances for which he won an Emmy. I did 237 episodes and won nothing.)’

‘When I read the script for Friends Like Us it was as if someone had followed me around for a year, stealing my jokes, copying my mannerisms, photocopying my world-weary yet witty view of life. One character in particular stood out to me: it wasn’t that I thought I could play “Chandler,” I was Chandler.’

‘this point I was hanging out a lot with two brothers, Chris and Brian Murray. Somehow, since third grade we’d developed a way of talking that went, “Could it be any hotter?” or “Could the teacher be any meaner?” or “Could we be more in detention?”—a cadence you might recognize if you’re a fan of Friends, or if you’ve noticed how America has been talking for the past couple of decades or so.’