Quentin > Recent Status Updates

I used to be a hopeless romantic. Now I'm just hopeless.

Obamacare passes Supreme Court. Proud day for its poppa (Mitt Romney). Now maybe Trump can have that thing on his head taken care of?

Guy busted using inflatable sex doll to ride in carpool lane. Claims he picked her up hitchhiking.

In support of healthcare reform, Olive Garden will now be offering the never-ending breast exam.

So glad the world hasn't ended -- and I blew the mortgage payment on a VIP lap dance at Club Paradise.

Glad the world hasn't ended -- and I blew the mortgage payment on a VIP lap dance at Club Paradise.

French presidential candidate arrested in U.S. for attempted rape -- or as the French call it: "speed dating."

Inspiration is the shadow leaving the room just as you arrive.

Was kicked off ChristianMingle.com for "coveting" some chick's rack.

"HORSE LATITUDES" NOW AVAILABLE ON KINDLE!

Literature today is like elevator music for a narcoleptic.

Watching "The Blob." The Blob was strictly a "second tier" movie monster. Never had the charisma, or screen presence of its good friend, "The Creature from the Black Lagoon" -- although it did study with Lee Strasberg, & briefly dated Kim Novak. It now lives in Arizona, where it owns a curio shop, & is still active in local theater.

I was eating a steak at a local restaurant last night, when a random woman said: "Y'know, you'd be much better off being a vegetarian." "Are you crazy?" I said, "The cow was a vegetarian and look what happened to it!"

There are no sacred cows -- just ask Ronald McDonald.

99% OF ALL PROBLEMS CAN BE SOLVED BY MONEY -- AND FOR THE OTHER 1% THERE'S ALCOHOL.

AL GORE A "SEX POODLE" -- OR MERELY A CASE OF GLOBAL WARMING IN HIS SHORTS??

SNORKELING WITH CONGRESSMAN MASSA.

SNORKELING WITH CONGRESSMAN MASSA.

AN OPEN LETTER TO HOWARD STERN

SEE YA ON TWITTER

NEW FICTION: "STRANGE TALES OF LAS VEGAS"

UTTERLY CAPTIVATING!