toby :D > Recent Status Updates

elena's like oh you know, "the frenzied thoughts of girlish discouragement" haha, and her thoughts are "my fear is too great and so I hope that everything will end soon, that the figures of the nightmares will consume my soul.... I hope that while I'm sitting here... assassins will arrive out of the night and torture my body. Yes, yes, let me be punished for my insufficiency" take those girlish thoughts to Therapy!

“…Lila resting on her elbows, Nino with his head on her stomach, I sigh my head on Nino’s stomach, Bruno with his head on my stomach.” now everyone pause and imagine this scenario irl. what the hell kinda twister stuff are they doing on this beach.. twisting like a snake Hello??

“Did I keep my feelings muted because I was frightened by the violence with which, in fact, in my innermost self, I wanted things, people, praise, triumphs? Was I afraid that that violence, if I did it get what I wanted, would explode in my chest…?” elena ur so real i get u Also i’m a fan of the description of emotion esp anger/desire in this book

“If I want something,” she whispered, as if she herself didn’t want to hear, “I just have to act a little like a whore.” Lila my queen i’ll save you…

“to return to the time of elementary school, when she was always first and i second. to give meaning back to studying because she knew how to give it meaning. to stay in her shadow and therefore feel strong and secure. yes, yes, yes. start again.” elena girl you need to be your own person

“I was pleased about that we (we shouldn’t have taken it, we were wrong), but the abrupt transition to the I annoyed me: I have been wrong about everything. We,* would have liked to correct her, always we…” this sounds like verbatim words i’d write in a short story abt codependent siblings/friends, elena ferrante i get you

if i had a nickel for every time dr. c assigned us a book about the friendship between two girls that is lowkey codependent and when they grow up they’re not friends anymore (i think) I’d have two nickels… which isn’t a lot, but it’s weird that it’s happened twice (sula shout-out!)