Daniel > Recent Status Updates

The last man I met who was at school with me, though some years my junior, had a long white beard and no teeth. It blurred the picture I had formed of myself as a sprightly young fellow on the threshold of life.

Every time I read one of those bits in the paper about Another Victim Of The Confidence Trick, I yearn to try it for myself, because I simply cannot bring myself to believe that there are people in the world mugs enough to fall for it.

'Willpower and dedication are good words,' Roland remarked. 'There's a bad one, though, that means the same thing. That one is obsession.'

Times have change. At some point the bandit became a general, and now the general would become a ruler in the name of the people.

A couple of pages about how great the obscure poet Laura Riding was... Even if I hadn't picked up a smattering of Graves's 'White Goddess'-era biography from a TV documentary about 25 years ago, I think I'd have guessed she was his girlfriend.

"The Sitwells[...] Edith [was] a sincere, irritable, very limited poet[...]"

Dude, she can hear you.

Country people grew to hate cars, for their noise, smell, danger, and the unconcerned bearing of the drivers, and often encouraged children to pelt them with stones and line the road with glass and upturned tacks to cause punctures. A new division of Britain took place: Motorists and Pedestrians.

Cat-burglars did not force ground-floor doors or windows, like ordinary burglars or policemen, but, like policemen raiding night-clubs, scaled waterpipes, ran along roofs, appeared suddenly through skylights.

Almost every year at Oxford someone performed the classic climb up the Martyrs' Memorial to stick a chamber-pot on top. Usually the police shot it down with a rook-rifle, but if it was enamel they had to rug up scaffolding, at great expense.

The Grindell-Matthews death-ray was occasional news throughout the period and when at the end of the Thirties a new war with Germany threatened, many found great consolation in the belief that the East Coast of England was securely girdled by pylons carrying an unbreakable band of death.

X-rays added considerably to the thrills of boot-buying when West End stores used them in their footwear departments to ensure the perfect fit.

On Wodehouse: He had been a writer of public-school stories before he became a journalist in New York. His Jeeves and Bertie Wooster were inspired by the American notion of the English dude abd butler; but they were sartorially and socially irreproachable and his lyrical-ludicrous style, combining American slickness with English sensibility, eventually made him the most generally appreciated contemporary writer.

There is no actual rule about it, of course, and the programme is subject to change without notice, but Nature, in supplying the world with young English novelists, seems to prefer that they shall fall into one of two definite classes - the cocktails-and-cynicism or the heartiness-and-beer.

And barely had he strolled down to the river and smoked two cigarettes and thrown a bit of stick at a water-rat and strolled back and thrown another bit of stick at a noise in the bushes, when the significance of Lord Tilbury's concluding remark suddenly flashed upon him.

A depressingly musty scent pervaded the place, as if a cheese had recently died there in painful circumstances.

'I am now a member of the staff of this bank. Its interests are my interests. Psmith, the individual, ceases to exist, and there springs into being Psmith, the cog in the wheel of the New Asiatic Bank; Psmith, the link in the bank's chain; Psmith, the worker. I shall not spare myself..' [...] 'I shall toil with all the accumulated energy of one who, up till now, has only known what work is like from hearsay.'

"Jackson," said Mike.

"Are you the Bully, the Pride Of The School, or the Boy who is Led Astray and takes to Drink in Chapter Sixteen?"

"The last, for choice," said Mike, "but I've only just arrived, so I don't know."

Very meta:

'Firby-Smith's manner became ominously calm. He produced a swagger-stick from a corner.
"Do you see," he asked again.
Mike's jaw set more tightly.
What one really wants here is a row of stars.'

Man's inability to get out of bed in the morning is a curious thing. One may reason with oneself clearly and forcibly without the slightest effect. One knows that delay means inconvenience. Perhaps it may spoil one's whole day. And one also knows that a single resolute heave will do the trick. But logic is of no use. One simply lies there.

One of the points Beals was fond of making was that the paradox of writing romantic fiction consisted largely in transforming imaginary improbable events in a manner to make them appear realistic. That ruled out most of the far more improbable events of real life.

Finally, I woukld like to assure my many Buddhist, Christian, Hindu, Jewish and Muslim friends that I am sincerely happy that the religion which Chance has given you has contributed to your peace of mind (and often, as Western medical science now reluctantly admits, to your physical well-being).

Perhaps it is better to be un-sane and happy, than sane and un-happy. But it is best of all to be sane and happy.

'So every word is mine: well, almost every word. I must confess that I found Professor Thirugnanasampanthamoorthy (Chapter 35) in the Colombo Telephone Directory. I hope the present owner of that word will not object to the loan.'

He had read somewhere that by the turn of the century--his century!--there were approximately fifty thousand television stations [...] by now millions of millions of hours of TV programming must have gone on the air. So even the most hardened cynic would admit that there were probably at least a billion hours of worthwhile viewing... and millions that would pass the highest standards of excellence.

'I've been appointed your official guide and--let's say--mentor. My qualifications--I've specialized in your period--my thesis was "The Collapse of the Nation-State, 2000-2050".'

They checked into a motel not uglier than the rest, which is remarkable, road motels being relentlessly competitive when it comes to creating the most depressing atmosphere out of blank walls and PVC.

It is a reality which at the moment [1984] is shared by perhaps a few hundred thousands in the developed countries--predominantly the United States--but which will spread quickly throughout the world. Perhaps the best label for this new technology is 'electronic mail'

During the Swansea visit the three Amis children were in some skilful manner relegated so that the Uplands house was entirely free from them throughout our stay. Since Waugh was very keen on the doctrine that children should neither be seen nor heard, Violet mentioned to him the adroitness of the Amises in having so resourcefully disposed of their family. The story fell very flat. In fact rather annoyed Waugh.