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meh

“Jem smiled at the sight of his daughter, and paused long enough to think, Will, my Will. You would be so proud.”

“ “Will?” and Jem nodded. “Do you . . .” Kit bit his lip. “Do you still think about him a lot?”
“I loved him better than I love myself,” said Jem. “I still do. I think about him every day.”

“Hey, bad cat.”
“He’s a sweet cat, really,” said Jem. “You have to learn how he likes to be petted.”
“I know how he likes to be petted,” said Kit. “By you and no one else. That cat is waiting for the chance to literally pee in my Cheerios.” He pointed the sword accusingly at Church. “I’m watching you.”

“He closed his eyes and pressed a kiss to Tessa’s hair. Behind his lids, he did not see darkness but the light of a London morning and Will there, smiling at him. A new soul made of you and Tessa, Will said. I can hardly wait to meet such a paragon.”

“But where would she go?
He’s aging, right in front of her, skin sagging, hair graying, flesh withering from the bones, and she knows, she’s losing him, she will watch him die as she watches everyone die, she will have to learn all over again to survive in a world without love.
”

did not need that reminder 🥲

“And then she is Tessa again, and she is at Will’s side, and Jem is there, and Will is slipping away, and she is trying to fathom how she will face a world without him.”

lasa maaaa

“To watch the person you loved most fight for every breath. To watch them slipping away, powerless to hold on. To see the face you loved contort with pain, the body you would die to protect trembling, shuddering, broken.”

“what he’d always found in Will: not just a partner but a refuge. A home. No one, not even a parabatai, could replace what had been lost. Even now, there was a hole in Jem’s heart, a raw wound where his parents had been ripped away. This was a limb that could not be replaced, only compensated for. As it had been when he lost Will. As it would be if he ever lost Tessa.”

“Of course, it wasn’t just Jem’s guilt, Jem’s fury. She had plenty of her own. Every Herondale was a part of Will, and so a part of her. That was what it meant to be family. And she had knelt by the cold body of too many Herondales. She could not stomach another meaningless death.”

“When you fight, you should fight with your whole heart,” said Jem softly. “I don’t have the heart for life among the Nephilim, for that particular fight, not any longer. Too much of my heart is in a grave.”

the way they love each other. kill me now.

“Alec looked at Jem, those blue eyes wide and sorrowful. He looked like Will, but he wasn’t Will, any more than Jace was. None of them could ever be Will”

will be using this phrase again any men close in my vicinity 🫶

“But I don’t understand—why you don’t want to be one anymore.”
“Don’t you?” Jem asked. “You have a parabatai. Once, so did I. Can you imagine fighting without him?”

“, Jem had found Will sitting in the dark in the music room, staring at Jem’s violin. He’d sat down on the floor beside Will.
“Entreat me not to leave thee, idiot,” Jem had said, and Will had put his head down on Jem’s shoulder. Jem had felt him trembling with the effort not to laugh or cry, and known Will wanted to do both.”

ma inec

“We heard a whisper of the name Herondale.”
She said the name that had once been hers very softly.”

“What a handsome end to a long night,” Lily said delightedly. “If it isn’t the former Brother Snackariah.”

“Magnus is hot,” Alec said finally, as they went on their way.
Lily rolled her eyes. “Wow, you and Monogamous Bane make me tired. He’s even dumber than you are.”
“He’s not dumb.”
“An immortal who sets his soft heart on one person?” Lily bit her lip, fangs pressing down too hard. “That’s dumb.”

“I heard the man was handsome.”
“Boy, did you hear right,” said Lily.
Juliette’s smile spread. “There really are some very handsome Nephilim around.”

“Present company excepted. And Jem,” said Lily. “I’m having a terrible time in Buenos Aires, and I don’t eat, but I’m in the mood for a delicious bowl of Jembalaya.”
“He’s married!” Alec pointed out once again.
“Please stop reminding me. She smells like books. I may be immortal, but life is too short to spend reading.”

“Finally, there might be rest. He might see his parabatai again.
Except with the thought of Will came the thought of another. He thought of soft cool air drifting from the river, and her sweet serious face, unchanging as his own heart."

“I don’t mean to brag. I’m just saying that if they made a book of hot Shadowhunters, my illustration would be on every page,” Jace said serenely.
“Nope,” said Lily. “It would be filled with pictures of the Carstairs family.”

.

“Nobody’s talking about you, Jason. Have you heard the phrase ‘tall, dark, and handsome’?”
“Sounds like an old-fashioned saying,” said Jace. “Sounds like something people used to say before I was born.”

Will!!!!!

“ “Do I want to come on a bro road trip with you, rushing to the aid of gorgeous damsel-in-distress Jem I’d-love-to-climb-’em Carstairs?”
“So, yes.”
Lily’s smile was wide enough to show fangs. “Hell yes.”
”

“If life is a wheel, it will bring you back to me. All I must do is keep faith.Sometimes you seem very far away from me, my parabatai.Jem smiled back at a boy long gone.
Sometimes, Will, he said, you seem very close.
”

“This is a reminder of my faith. If there is any part of him that can be with me, and I believe . He could still speak to Will, though he could no longer hear any answer.
Life is not a boat, bearing us far away on a cruel, relentless tide from all we love. You are not lost to me on some forever distant shore. Life is a wheel.”