ally douglas? > Recent Status Updates

Gots to push thru

I remembered

This is Andrew seeing Neil, seeing Abram, seeing Nathaniel – this is Andrew seeing himself

The one exception to the rule is AJ, because AJ is what he went by when he was living with Cass ((AJ for Andrew Joseph)), and AJ is what Drake called him when Drake pushed him down, so if anyone else was stupid enough to call him AJ Andrew would answer with a knife

Neil will eventually understand that Andrew means more to him than anything else does.

But Andrew in regards to Neil… Andrew had seen Neil crack a couple times before, but this was the first time he really saw Neil fracture, saw Neil fall apart & pull himself back together so quickly he should have cut them all on the jagged edges of his I’m fine.

It shapes too much of his life in the end, Exy and Neil, Neil and Exy. It is having a place, having a team, a different city every week and cigarettes and drinks in-between. And one day Andrew’s going to realize that perhaps even he is having a bit of fun.

Choosing Neil means choosing Exy, because Andrew can’t have one without the other.

The people who wanted Andrew’s best had already proven that their relationship with Exy was unhealthy, and they had gotten tangled up in some pretty ugly consequences because of it. Why the hell would Andrew want to give Exy a chance when it had wrecked their lives? He didn’t need any help destroying himself, thanks.

Cass is a warning, a dream wrapped in venom, and Andrew has kept the memory close so he won’t make the same mistake twice. Andrew doesn’t live for himself anymore; he simply drifts from day to day, participating in life only because lying down and dying would leave his troublesome family undefended.

((And then there’s Neil))

Did he what?
Whichever question you meant to ask, the answer is yes.

Did he learn what Andrew looks like on the verge of a panic attack and the ferocity Andrew fights with when he’s clawing back from that dangerous edge? Did he see the look in Andrew’s eyes when the knife went a little too deep, connecting one psychological scar to another and blurring the lines between them?


MY GOD, MY POOR ANDREW.

Neil is not reason enough to wake up, to look back, to try a little harder. One man is not reason enough to live.

My babies

Two murders down but how many to go?

I need the next book NEOOWWWW

I’m glad she’s dead, he says, and he mostly means it, because if she hadn’t died then where would he be? If she’d lived, he never would have ended up in Arizona, never would have come to South Carolina, never would have met the Foxes or fallen in love with Andrew.

LBOMB

"All over, Lormerin!"

He could no longer recall all the nice, tender things, so sweet, so bitter, that had come to his mind that morning when he thought of the other, of little Lise, of the dainty Ashflower. What, then, had become of her, the former one, the one he had loved? That woman of far-off dreams, the blonde with gray eyes, the young girl who used to call him "Jaquelet" so prettily?

If he had ever loved a woman in his life it was this one, little Lise, Lise de Vance, whom he called "Ashflower," on account of the strange color of her hair and the pale gray of her eyes.

ok psycho !

Can't remember what you did? Sure

bro is def going to take out her teeth

teeth

okay cousin marriage mentioned so it's basically poe's autobiography

adhd core

"...evil is a consequence of good, so, in fact, out of joy is sorrow born"

It was like a nigger buttin' a persimmon tree

That's not...

"'Hold on there,' says I, ignorant of the involutions of justice

"Oily fed 'em dray loads of eloquence, but it didn't seem to be real fillin'. They'd leave the lectures and rob a bakery.