elstaffe > Recent Status Updates

"6
Understand that
all beings
have their origins
in this nature:
I am the birth
and the dissolution
of the whole world." (85) seventh discourse, verse 6

"'Brash... If Houdino ate here, would that make him a DINER-Saur?'
'HA! And since it's evening, he'd be a DINNER-Saur!'" (161)

"'These are PARK tickets, not parkiNG tickets.'
'Besides, how absurd is it to make people PAY for ambulance rides?

In a civilized society they'd be FREE!'" (109)

Today I learned "ferny" was a slang word for 1960s-style nostalgic

"Underarm hair, human, 146" (249) again, why specify, index

"Pubic Hair, human, 146" (249) WHY SPECIFY HUMAN, INDEX??

Oh, because body odor in dogs is also an index entry in this book

"Body odor, human, 92" (247) why did you have to specify human, index

"So the British devised an ingenious, if imprecise, method. Someone figured out that gunpowder would ignite in an alcoholic liquid only if enough water was eliminated from the mix. When the proportion of alcohol to water was high enough that black gunpower would explode—this was the proof of the alcohol." (177) "someone figured out" was it intentional, though, or just "what if I try this"

"Where Do Houseflies Go During the Winter?
To heaven, usually." (133)

"Here are some of the successful variations of preneed selling:
1. Sell child burial protection. Child protection doesn't cost much, but it does provide great cash flow. By the time the child is likely to die, compound interest has made this presell very profitable." (97) so much more space devoted to teaching cemeteries how to make money than I'd've thought

"The Castilian pride in their 'blue blood' was a thinly veiled proclamation of pride in their light complexions, and a subtle way of indicating that they were not, as the Oxford English Dictionary puts it, 'contaminated by Moorish, Jewish, or other foreign admixture.' For the paler the complexion of the skin, the more blue the veins appear." (91) woof

"A Welshman, Major Walter Clopton Wingfield, devised the game [of tennis]" (3) what a name!

Ethnically prejudiced against Scots, b'gosh.

"Corey: Wait, what? So you DO want to get it with your new friend then?
Walker: Sorry man, I need to go
About to have that talk with Gram like you suggested.
Corey: You squirrelly little motherfucker
Corey: Fine, go experience some emotional growth or what the fuck
ever" (96)

"Not only their bodies, but their spirits as well, were forged by a conflagration that burned in a timeless sphere." (324) what sphere?

"'Erik, didn't you know I loved you? Couldn't you tell how much I loved you?'
'No, no,' he said as he dried his tears with her hair. 'Every time I was near you, with you, you ran from me afterward.'" (320) TRUE FACTS

"'I guess I take after him that way.
I don't want to. I try to be as physically affectionate with Theron as possible. I don't want him to miss that... that fondling.'" (292) you paused to find the right word and still ended up on 'fondling,' huh.

"She had been created to love physically, hard and often." (267) hard facepalm

"'And as much as I'd like to in my mind,' he stroked her cheek with fleeting fingers, 'I couldn't impose any physical demands on a woman.'" (153) he said with his working mouth as he used his working fingers. Sex Ed in the 80s has a lot to answer for for men as well as women

"He was a tall, thin, middle-aged man who radiated a strong moral character and dependability." (123) I don't know how one radiates either of those things, but especially the former

I was worried this was going to be an amnesia book, but somehow it's both more and less dumb

I did start this book thinking Sandra Brown wasn't being as Sandra Browny as usual, and yet, here we are again

"''A virgin is such a rare thing, I didn't even recognize one when I met her.' His comment was self-deprecating. He sighed deeply, in regret, and said, 'No wonder you were afraid of me.'" (87) yes, what other possible reason could there have been for her being afraid after being forced to fondle him

"He cupped the underside of her left breast gently. 'Your heart is pounding, Kathleen. Is that for me?'
She purred as his fingers lightly stroked the undercurve." (86) substituting "underboob" in either of these places somewhat alters the mood, and yet, my brain could not refrain from doing so

"He had spoken of his father's fierce temper. Apparently, his Viking blood, which felt each emotion strongly, wasn't immune to anger." (59) I mean, I guess at least it's not his hot Latin blood or his Cherokee blood or his Nubian blood, but still

"'Last year she singlehandedly raised enough money to air condition the mess hall and install two basketball goals.'" (16) they're similar to but not quite the same as soccer hoops

"'Your mother has always said, "Men's minds are small compared to God's, and those who claim to know God completely have the smallest minds."'" (126)

"'But it's always the person's fault if there is no hope; it's a sure sign the Devil had gotten in. And he got into her life because she harbored doubts. That's what makes way for the Devil. A Doubting Thomas is what she is, and you can see the results.'" (125) ah yes, the gentle succors of Methodists

"Some experts believe they do this to be the first on the scene of a fire, thus getting the jump on their competition for prey. Sure, or maybe these sick fucks just like to watch the flames before they kill, because that all sounds like the work of a homicidal arsonist to me." (186)