Status Updates From How to Be an Adult in Relat...

Beneath denied deprivation, though, is a silent scream, a stifled cry. Our rational mind minimizes the impact of what happened to us physically, emotionally, or sexually, but every cell of our body knows and feels the true impact. Our body is the only part of us that cannot lie or be lied to.

Offering support — "I see your pain. Please tell me how I can be here for you now'
"I want to support you in this moment. Please let me know what will work best for you." "I am available in any way I can be. How can! nurture you best at this time?" "If you do not know what you need right now, I can simply be here with you."

(..cont) Can I ask her or him the same question? What will I do with the information? Is the love I offer childlike, parental, or adult? Is the love I seek childlike, parental, or adult? When we feel little or no love coming our way, we may look for proof of love. The more proofs we seek, the more our partner feels threatened, tested, and on the spot. Am I in either of these positions?

Consider these questions in your journal: What feels like love to me? Who makes me feel that way? Do I feel loved in bodily resonant. ways by my partner? Who was the first person in my life to make me feel loved? Have I thanked him or her enough? Can I tell my partner what feels like love to me? (..cont)