Status Updates From Heroes Are My Weakness

This has to be the most categorically unsexy romance I've ever read. Scenes between the love interests are interrupted by the silent voices of ventriloquist puppets? The male lead once tried to kill the female lead? Who is also coughing and snotting constantly while recovering from pneumonia? Is this a joke? I'm giving this maybe 50 more pages for it to steam up...

Can this story just put itself on hold and then come back when the heroine’s had like five years of therapy and figured out her medication?

Prediction: jacey will turn out to be some sort of insane manipulative psychopath who makes what’s-her-pickle, you know, the main girl, think that Theo is evil and crazy and tries to force Miss Pickle out of the cottage to regain her ancestral home and make Theo love her.

I’m pretty sure that the author hasn’t actually read any of the classic novels she’s slagging off and is just going off their Wikipedia pages.

I feel like the puppet thing is supposed to be cute and *shudder* quirky, but it’s mostly just coming off like she needs a good dose of risperdal.

Really she blame Theo for her almost drowning when she could have just left the puppies. Come on I know that was a crazy thing he did but she act like the man held a gun up to her head.

I think she's being dramatic about him trying to kill her unless that incident hasn't been described yet.