Status Updates From The Insidious Dr. Fu-Manchu

"I heard an eerie wail." "What, like this one?" Our dashing hero imitating an eerie wail would only work in the movies if he's played by Inspector Clouseau. . . . Mel Brooks would make a great Fu Manchu film.

Even the phrase "it contained a blank sheet of paper" is ended with an exclamation point in this book. And then our protagonist is commanded to smell it

Never forget, people. Our hero is fighting for "the interests of the entire white race!" . . . I miss the killer crabs already . . .

"That scar was caused by a dart addicted Cobra Venom!" "Oh, my!" "Further, IT WAS NOT AN ACCIDENT!" Well, duh. Not many people play envenomed lawn darts anymore . . .

This book has more exclamation points than a drunk person playing Metal Gear

Well, I read Lovecraft. How much more racist could this possibly be?