“Indeed, the capacity to conceptualize death and the possibility of an afterlife is widely considered an emergent property of mind that sets humans apart from other animals. Archaeological evidence of ritualized burial of the dead, found at prehistoric sites, for example, is often cited as a marker of the emergence of human self consciousness and the origins of society.”
― The Other Side of Sadness: What the New Science of Bereavement Tells Us About Life After Loss
― The Other Side of Sadness: What the New Science of Bereavement Tells Us About Life After Loss
“many people who suffer difficult losses exhibit a natural resilience. They hurt deeply, but the hurt passes, and relatively soon after the loss they can resume functioning and enjoying life. This is not true of everyone, of course. Not all bereaved people are lucky enough to cope so well. We’ll come back to this serious issue later. For now, though, we’ll stay focused on the empirical fact that most bereaved people get better on their own, without any kind of professional help. They may be deeply saddened, they may feel adrift for some time, but their life eventually finds its way again, often more easily than they thought possible. This is the nature of grief. This is human nature.”
― The Other Side of Sadness: What the New Science of Bereavement Tells Us About Life After Loss
― The Other Side of Sadness: What the New Science of Bereavement Tells Us About Life After Loss
“We can also find moments of comfort in positive reminiscences of the lost loved one. These positive states do more than propel us out of sadness; they also reconnect us to those around us. Laughter in particular has a contagious effect on other people, and in our research we’ve shown this to be true even during bereavement.”
― The Other Side of Sadness: What the New Science of Bereavement Tells Us About Life After Loss
― The Other Side of Sadness: What the New Science of Bereavement Tells Us About Life After Loss
“There is an advantage, the research shows us, in being optimistic. People who cope well tend to have an indelible belief that things will somehow turn out OK. They also tend to be confident.
They believe that they will be able to exert at least some control over
the outcome of even the most difficult life events. This is not to say that
optimistic people believe they can undo the past or stop certain things
from happening. Sometimes, even the hardiest of individuals are initially stunned after a tragedy. Nonetheless, fueled by their deep-rooted sense that they can and should be able to move on, they manage to gather their strength, regroup, and work toward restoring the balance in their lives.
Along with these optimistic, self-confident beliefs, people who cope
well also have a broader repertoire of behaviors. Simply put, they seem
to have more tools in their toolboxes. One example is how resilient
people express emotion. We think that, as a general rule, the more we
show what we are feeling, the better off we will be. This is especially
true when bad things happen to us, and it is actually a cornerstone of
the traditional grief work idea.”
― The Other Side of Sadness: What the New Science of Bereavement Tells Us About Life After Loss
They believe that they will be able to exert at least some control over
the outcome of even the most difficult life events. This is not to say that
optimistic people believe they can undo the past or stop certain things
from happening. Sometimes, even the hardiest of individuals are initially stunned after a tragedy. Nonetheless, fueled by their deep-rooted sense that they can and should be able to move on, they manage to gather their strength, regroup, and work toward restoring the balance in their lives.
Along with these optimistic, self-confident beliefs, people who cope
well also have a broader repertoire of behaviors. Simply put, they seem
to have more tools in their toolboxes. One example is how resilient
people express emotion. We think that, as a general rule, the more we
show what we are feeling, the better off we will be. This is especially
true when bad things happen to us, and it is actually a cornerstone of
the traditional grief work idea.”
― The Other Side of Sadness: What the New Science of Bereavement Tells Us About Life After Loss
Madelein’s 2024 Year in Books
Take a look at Madelein’s Year in Books, including some fun facts about their reading.
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