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Ambrose Bierce
“OPPOSITION, n. In politics the party that prevents the Government from running amuck by hamstringing it.”
Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary

Ambrose Bierce
“TARIFF, n. A scale of taxes on imports, designed to protect the domestic producer against the greed of his consumer.”
Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary

Ambrose Bierce
“PHILANTHROPIST, n. A rich (and usually bald) old gentleman who has trained himself to grin while his conscience is picking his pocket.”
Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary

Ambrose Bierce
“PIETY, n. Reverence for the Supreme Being, based upon His supposed resemblance to man.”
Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary

Ambrose Bierce
“LUNARIAN, n. An inhabitant of the moon, as distinguished from Lunatic, one whom the moon inhabits.”
Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary

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