Jane Swift

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David Sedaris
“I haven't the slightest idea how to change people, but still I keep a long list of prospective candidates just in case I should ever figure it out.”
David Sedaris, Naked

David Sedaris
“Boys who spent their weekends making banana nut muffins did not, as a rule, excel in the art of hand-to-hand combat.”
David Sedaris, Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim

David Sedaris
“A good [short story] would take me out of myself and then stuff me back in, outsized, now, and uneasy with the fit.”
David Sedaris

David Sedaris
“On Undecided Voter​s: "To put them in perspective, I think​ of being​ on an airplane.​ The flight attendant comes​ down the aisle​ with her food cart and, eventually,​ parks​ it beside my seat.​ “Can I inter​est you in the chick​en?​” she asks.​ “Or would​ you prefer the platter of shit with bits of broke​n glass​ in it?”

To be undecided in this elect​ion is to pause​ for a moment and then ask how the chick​en is cooked.”
David Sedaris

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