David LuCzAk

“What the hell are you doing up there?'

So he slipped, of course, because he was startled, and because fate, having been so kind to him as to award him this ecstasy, retributively was going to kill him now. He lost his footing and grabbed for the chimney but missed. Head over thighs he rolled out like a child's toy, smashed into the poking branches of the damn pear tree, which probably saved his life, breaking his fall. He landed with a thud on a bed of lettuces, and the wind was knocked out of him, mortifyingly so, through all available orifices.

Oh, brilliant,' said the voice. 'The trees are dropping their fruits early this year.”
― Gregory Maguire, Wicked: The Life and Times of the Wicked Witch of the West