rp# 3 (alpha/beta) Showing 801-850 of 1,507

[Steve, Foxy Grandpa (the thug life chose me elisa)]

IM GONNA DO A TRIPLE BYPASS SUGEWRY

[Nepeta]

"But I'm too skinny for that!" Roxy yelled.

[Steve, Foxy Grandpa (the thug life chose me elisa)]

I DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT THAT IS ALL I KNOW IS THAT ME GRANDPA HAD ONE.

[E, adventurin and derping all at once]

"NO STOP!! Slenderman that procedure's wrong and is inappropriate for this birth!!" Seeing that dirk had passed out and Dave was busy filming, John decided to take charge. "Okay, swallow this." he handed her a pill and some water. "Okay, take deep breaths and try not to yell too much. If you have to, then you can, but be aware that it takes away oxygen from your baby. If it goes without oxygen for too long, it can lead to setup birth defects." he said to her seriously. "I'll be here so you can squeeze my hand." he did another derpy smile. "It's okay. I'll help you through this. Slenderman too. Your baby will be with you in no time.!"
((I gtg, continue tomorrow as soon as possible!!))

[Elle]

HHAHAHAHAHHAHAAAAA....please someone, this is too funny.

"Do it!" Dave yelled!

[Elle]

((Good night, sweet dreams with Slendy!))

Dave continued to laugh.

[Steve, Foxy Grandpa (the thug life chose me elisa)]

ok ok ok i gotta gtg too goodnight i love you all

[Nepeta]

WE LOVE YOU 2!

Roxy groaned hard, trying not to scream. What the hall was Slenderman doing anyway? She kept on groaning.

[Steve, Foxy Grandpa (the thug life chose me elisa)]

im just gonna leave you pregnant women here for a few hours...GOODNIGHT.

groan in peace.


Aahahahaha!!!

[Nepeta]

WE LUV U 2!

MAGESTIC GRAON

[Elle]

Dave was laughing so hard, he didn't notice his bro waking up.
"What's happening?" Dirk asked.

[E, adventurin and derping all at once]

"Roxy is giving birth, and I am the unofficial doctor, considering Slenderman actually has no medical experiance." John answered nervously.

[Nepeta]

Roxy kept on groaning.
"John, I need to scream!" she said, trying hard not to scream. She continued to cry out in pain and she squeezed Dirk's hand. "Please, John." ((And she pooped))

[E, adventurin and derping all at once]

"It's okay..! Keep breathing!!" John grabbed a blanket and gave to Dirk for the baby. "Push Roxy! Do it for the baby!" he encouraged. "Dave! Get over here and be productive!"

[Elle]

"What do you want me to do?_______________" Dave said, his words having to be censored because I would be kicked out of this group if they were not.
"Is she going to be okay?" Dirk asked. "She seems in an awful lot of pain."

[Nepeta]

Roxy breathed in deeply. "I think I need an epidural!" She began to cry and she squeezed Dirk's hand hard. And she pooped again.

[E, adventurin and derping all at once]

"Dave! Stop being mean to me! I'm trying my best!" John looked over at Dirk with a nervous expression. He grabbed a shot full of the numbing drug and held it ready, his hand shaking "I'll do it of you want..!!"

[Nepeta]

"DO IT!" Roxy yelled, not noticing the needle. "Wait, you need a needle? WHAT?!"

[Elle]

Dirk was shaking hard, trying not to puke. Dave just laughed. "Well, stick it down her spine, Egbert."

[E, adventurin and derping all at once]

"ehhh..!! I'm! I'm not quite sure what to do..!" John cried frantically. "Um! Okay..!" He held her arm and inserted the shot cleanly. Before Roxy could protest, the needle was out. He was very pale and was shaking as he stepped quickly over to Dirk.

[Nepeta]

Roxy screamed, but her pain was easing a little. It still hurt, but it wasn't that bad. She sighed in relief.
"Thank you," she said, managing a small smile.

[E, adventurin and derping all at once]

"Um, You're welcome..!" John said quietly. "Try to push as much as you can..! It's imperative that your baby is out as soon as possible." his face was very pale.

[Nepeta]

Roxy stared at the wall and continued to push. Dirk looked horrible.
"Dirk?" she asked the pale young man. She pushed hard and yelled. "DIRK! I THINK IT'S COMING OUT!"

[Elle]

Dirk puked all over the floor. He could see the darn head.
"Oh gosh. Oh gossshhhh, no. Roxy, are you okay?"
Dave continued to laugh.

[E, adventurin and derping all at once]

"Dave! Get over here now and help me get this gosh-darned baby out of your mom!!" John ordered, seeing he had to act now. "Dirk ! Pull yourself together for the next couple minutes! I can't do this without you..!!" he pleaded. John patted roxy's hand. "Don't worry. In a few minutes everything will be fine. You just need to be brave."

[Nepeta]

Roxy nodded but groaned. The epidural wasn't helping at ALL. She began to cry hard. "Pleasee, get it out!" She continued to cry, ignoring Dirk. "I'm not brave enough."

[Elle]

Dave trudged over. "So you want me to grab the head or what? You see that my mom's in pain, right? You want me to yank it out of her?"
Dirk continued to shake hard, but he held Roxy's hand. He kissed it gently. "Everything will be all right, I promise."

[E, adventurin and derping all at once]

"Yes! Okay Dave..! But be very gentle..!!" He looked at Dirk and Roxy. They needed this. Needed it to be over. Hr nodded to Dave. "okay!! One..! Two..! THREE!"

[Nepeta]

Roxy yelled at the top of her lungs ((And pooped yet again!)). She couldn't handle this anymore. Her vision was fuzzy and she knew that she looked like an utter and complete mess. "STOP ITTT!"

[Elle]

And Dave, like the a$$hole that he was, yanked the baby out. "Aww, the baby is you!" Dave smiled and handed it to Dirk.
"This is...beautiful, it has Roxy's eyes..." he smiled as he wrapped the baby in the blanket. He sighed and handed the baby to John. "Thank you."

[E, adventurin and derping all at once]

John stared tiredly. He had done it..! He sighed in relief. Who needs four years of med school to be a doctor, pfft. He smiled. The baby and Roxy looked so happy together already. "Thanks for all your help, Dave!" he smiled.

[Elle]

Dave smiled. "Uh, huh. Hey, shouldn't we like...clean the baby or something? And maybe get some new sheets? This place looks like Texas Chainsaw Massacre."
Dirk began to cry. "Roxy's dead." Even though Roxy simply had her eyes closed.

[Nepeta]

"John," Roxy groaned. "I feel really sore." She sighed in relief, but she still hurt. She just wanted her kitty plushie and wanted to go to sleep. "John, can you give me my stuffed kitty?" She let a few tears escape.

[E, adventurin and derping all at once]

"It's okay, all new moms feel how you do." John handed her the kitty. "Ypu need to rest and relax with your baby...speaking of which....is it a boy or a girl..?" he looked over at Dave and Dirk.

[Elle]

"Uhhh..." Dave began. He looked at the baby and turned it upside down. "GAH, IT'S A GIRL!" He had been wrong all along. It was a cute little girl. Dirk could only stare adoringly at his little thingy of a baby. So cute. So sugoi.

[Nepeta]

Roxy hugged her stuffed kitty. "Mmmm, smells good." She curled up in a little ball and winced in pain. "Does the baby is hungry?" She felt drunk right now. "John, can I have some wine? Or a martini. I feel really sore."

[E, adventurin and derping all at once]

"Um I suppose that's alright." John said blankly. He walked over to the new little girl. "Aww! It's so adorable!! Sooooooo cute!! What are you naming her?? You should name her Casey!" he smiled happily.

[Elle]

"No, screw you!" Dave screamed. "It's my hot body and I CAN DO WHAT I WANT!"
"Casey, of course," Dirk said, "She looks like her mama, with my hair." He smiled and sat down with her and showed her to a still in pain Roxy. "Here, feed her."

[Nepeta]

"John..." Roxy said as she pulled a blanket over the baby and began to feed her. "John, was I brave or was I just a coward?"

[E, adventurin and derping all at once]

"Roxy, I'm not going to lie to you, I bet there are many women who have been more brave than you. However, you did your best, and didn't have a doctor, only a young teenage boy who's seen too many movies and happens to pay attention in health class." John smiled softly. "You did a great job, and we're all very proud of you..!" he turned to Dave, "What are you yelling about now?"

[Elle]

"ABOUT MY HOT BODY? I CAN DO WHAT I WANT WITH IT AND I'M GOING TO GET YOUR SISTER PREGNANT TONIGHT!" Dave giggled and Dirk smirked.
"Don't forget," Dirk added, "about Slenderman. Where did that mofo go?"

[Nepeta]

"WHY AREN'T I BRAAVVVEEE?" Roxy asked, incredibly curious. "What did I do wrong?" She sighed. "And tell this darn baby to quit feeding off of me. I'm not a cow, you know. And what movies?"

[E, adventurin and derping all at once]

"You certainly have a lot of questions. You did an excellent job. You didn't do anything wrong, the baby has to, it's hungry. And I watch a lot of action movies, so I like to try to live up the the protagonist's heroicness." John turned to the other boy, "You are not doing ANYTHING like that with Jade! NOMATTER HOW HOT YOU ARE!" John frowned at Dave. "It's ridiculous that you're even thinking about doing things like that at all."

[Elle]

"I AM!" Dave yelled. "WHY NOT? CAN'T I EXPRESS MY AFFECTION FOR YOUR SISTER AND HER SIZE D CUP?! WHY NOT?!" Dave began to whine like a little boy.
"Roxy is amazing," Dirk said, kissing her forehead. "Let's have another baby. John, should we have another one?"

[Nepeta]

Roxy sighed. "But why can't we buy the baby a big mac or something? She's really annoying me with her weird noises." She stared down at Casey. "Aww, Casey's so cute!" The baby cooed a little and Roxy managed a smile. "You think that I did excellent? But I cried like a baby!"

[E, adventurin and derping all at once]

"You can express your AFFECTION for MY sister through a couple years of DATING. MOVIE NIGHTS. CUTE GIFTS. AN ENGAGEMENT. AND A FREAKING WEDDING!!!" John cried impatiently. Turning to Dirk, he answered. "If you'd like. I suggest settling down with this one first."

[Elle]

"NO!" Dave slapped John. "I AM SO GONNA GET HER PREGNANT TONIGHT AND SHE WILL HAVE A BEAUTIFUL CHILD. WHAT BETTER WAY TO EXPRESS LOVE?"
"Is Roxy going to be okay if we have another one?" Dirk inquired.

[Nepeta]

"John, why do you think I did good? I cried a lot! I was a coward," Roxy said sadly. She still felt sore, but Casey was making her smile. Aww, what a cute wittle one. "So sugoi," she said.

[E, adventurin and derping all at once]

John put a hand to his face. "THAT'S NOT RIGHT! YOU HAVE TO WAIT!!" he smacked Dave back. "IF YOU REALLY LOVED HER THEN YOU'D UNDERSTAND SHE NEEDS A STABLE HOME LIFE! HER PARENTS ARE BOTH DEAD AND SHE LIVES WITH A DOG ON AN ISLAND!!!"

[Elle]

Dave pulled out a lock of John's haid. "NO, SHUT UP! I WANT A BABY JUST LIKE DIRK AND ROXY? WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO SEE ME HAPPY? WHY DO ROXY AND DIRK GET TO HAVE A BABY AND I DON'T?!"