The Next Best Book Club discussion
Fun and Games
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Ask a Stupid Question, Get a Stupid Answer
Because apples are the thugs of the fruit kingdom- no one wants to be compared to them!If it's a penny for your thoughts, and you put your two cents in, where did the other penny come from?
You paid an extra penny yourself so you could talk more, because you like the sound of your own voice.What is the best beverage to serve with green eggs and ham?
Purple cow jumped over the moon3 cups vanilla non-fat frozen yogurt
1 cup milk
1/2 cup thawed frozen grape juice concentrate (undiluted)
1 1/2 tsp lemon juice
Place all ingredients in food processor or blender, process until smooth. Serve immediately. Makes 8 (1/2 cup) servings.
How does water freeze?
The same way you freeze when you're playing freeze tag, of course.Why do frogs jump?
Because their knees hurt if they sit in one position too long.Why do dogs howl at night?
They're hungry for the moon made of cheese.Why is the sky blue?
It would make you puke if it is green...Do the company that makes Lipton Tea have a coffee break?
No they have a tea and crumpets break!What did people eat before they invented pasta?
Antipasta.What is the purpose of chiggers?
To make boys use fingernail polish. (I HATE chiggers! Ticks are worse, but still... blegh...)
What did the dinosaur say to the wooly mammoth?
Could I have you as my cuddly bear or mammoth for that matter.....Why do Superman wear his undergarment inside-out?
Because they were dirty?Why is blue the color of raspberry flavor?
Because the other colors were already taken.Why does the sun rise in the east?
So that he will be at ease (read:east) when he rises up in the morning.... LOL!!!!Why do we close our eyes when we are sleeping...?
because we're doubtlessly actually chewing our spouses beard.Why do so many childrens tv shows and books seem to have been spawned while the author was on an acid trip?
A: Because it is safer than actually spawning while on an acid trip.Q: If it takes a man-and-a-half a day-and-a-half to dig a hole-and-a-half, how long will it take a one-eyed monkey with a peg-leg to kick the seeds out of a watermelon?
That's a trick question. Monkeys don't kick seeds out of watermelon; they use vacuum cleaners to suck them out! It usually takes an hour-and-a-half. ;)If you mix a tree and and plastic bottle, what do you get?
You get the environmentalists angry over the bad match.
Why does the sun rise in the east?
Why does the sun rise in the east?
Because you're scared of the south. ;) Either that, or you're too excited about the Spring Challenge to read!Who is the "they" in... "You know what they say..."??
They is everyone you've never liked.If your friends jumped off a cliff, would you do it too?
depends on how short Cliff is.who invented text speak?
I don't know, but if you find out, let me know, so I can got back in time and make sure they are never born!Where do babies come from?
The Queen MotherWhat do Teddy Bears talk about when you are not there?
about all the fun they'll have once you leave for school.why are kittens soft?
It's the saliva from Mom Cat - it works like a conditioner!Why do men always want women to "let their hair grow"?
Memories of when they were cavemen.Why DID seven eat nine?
Seven ate Nine? I had NO IDEA that Borg were cannibals! Someone needs to tell Captain Janeway right away!!Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar?
I didn't catch his name, but he was blue, fuzzy, and left crumbs everywhere!!Why don't woodpeckers get raging headaches?
They do, but they're too stupid to realize that if they'd stop pecking for 5 minutes, it would go away!Why does healthy food taste bad?
Hello, have you tasted a cockroach? It's not healthy and I'm sure it doesn't taste good!
What is the difference between a hero and a superhero?
What is the difference between a hero and a superhero?
Superheroes eat regular heroes with their morning cereal!What is the purpose of carpet?
a hero is a midget person, while a super hero is a tall person!Why is the drug and the female hero both called heroine?
Because they're both very addictive! (Admit it, most of us watched at least one show with a female superhero!)Carpet is hair for your floor so it doesn't go bald.
Why do they make kid's clothes that are white?
Because so many kids nowadays are allergic to EVERYTHING that the clothing manufacturers can't put dye in the cloth for fear that someone will sue them when their child has an allergic reaction.What did the farmer say when he lost his plow?
Hey! Where's my plow?What is the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow?
Faster than a laden swallow.Can we expect it to stop snowing?
When Santas's beard stops growing.
Why do we have 10 fingers and toes?
Why do we have 10 fingers and toes?
Well, we used to have 8 of each, like on The Simpson's, but then a genetic defect entered the human gene pool, which caused us to grow an extra finger on each hand and an extra toe on each foot.Why do hardback books cost so much more than paperbacks? (They can't be THAT much harder to make....)
I think they're like box seats at a baseball game.How do dogs know you're their new best friend?
They can tell by sniffing your butt. *sigh* Weirdos.How do you know if you feel like a nut or if you don't?
Have someone give you a squeeze.How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie pop?
All depends on how large your tongue is. Why do people have pets?
So that even stupid people can feel smarter than their pet?Why are people more accepting of their pet's flaws than their child's flaws?
rebecca wrote: "So that even stupid people can feel smarter than their pet?
Why are people more accepting of their pet's flaws than their child's flaws?"
Is this really a stupid question?
Why are people more accepting of their pet's flaws than their child's flaws?"
Is this really a stupid question?
Because pets don't grow up and blame you for their flaws!
Why does the rabbit have big pointy ears?
Why does the rabbit have big pointy ears?
So we don't confuse it with fish.What's the answer to the ultimate question of life, the universe, and everything?
42. Or possibly Bob.Why can't we all be Mer-People?
Because of the great big Octopus/Witch creature thingy and her two eal sidekicks.Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?
Spongebob! Can't even begin to think of a silly answer for that one. (And there are no children under 50 in this household.)How did that stuff under the bed come to be called dust bunnies?
The Next Best Book Club
Books mentioned in this topic
Man and Superman (other topics)Man and Superman (other topics)
Man and Superman (other topics)
The Territorial Imperative: A Personal Inquiry Into the Animal Origins of Property and Nations (other topics)
Authors mentioned in this topic
George Bernard Shaw (other topics)George Bernard Shaw (other topics)
George Bernard Shaw (other topics)
Why do people think apples and oranges are incomparable?