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[Perfection *Sherlock's Girl*]

NO NO. GO G-ED. OR GAR-ED. I think Gared is better. That's Gary and Ed.

[Perfection *Sherlock's Girl*]

This is kinda long so I'm putting it under a spoiler. But Ellie I want you to read it so you understand once again why nobody on the planet can write like Gary Lightbody.

(view spoiler)[
The Single Most Terrifying Thing I Have Ever Been Through
The thick snow swoons around the plane as I look out one of my pair of little windows onto a blizzard strewn Denver runway and I think if this was Ireland and the weather was kicking up so this plane would never be cleared to leave the ground. In fact, we would never have boarded in the first place. But Denver is made of sterner stuff. This plane will take off. I know this because I’m writing these words in the air.

Last Christmas at home in Ireland, the snow came in early December and its arms hugged tight the UK and Ireland well into the New Year. We were powerless against its beautiful disruption unaccustomed as we were to heavy snow more akin to Belgrade than Belfast. Trains and flights were all interrupted and often stilled completely as those two wee islands were held captive by the elements. With spectacular forward planning, local governments ran out of grit to salt the roads after about three days, so it was near impossible to even drive a little to do holiday shopping or go to that all important Christmas party so one could finally throw some shapes at the copy boy or receptionist we’d been clumsily flirting with for most of the year (I’ve learned much of what I know of office life from TV sitcoms). We were at a stand-still. And by all accounts the same halting snow is in store back home this year too, so that’s something to look forward to. Denver though, as I say, is made of sterner stuff.

First though we move gingerly to the de-icing machine to wait our turn to have snow and, as the pilot puts it rather alarmingly, ‘contaminates’ blasted off the plane’s outer shell. It’s no mystery why the language of flight is laced with danger words - emergency, crash landing, brace position, two and a half men, Bloody Marys - as these words pique our interest enough to perhaps prevent flippancy. However, it seems a little excessive to have to lumber us with the idea that we are covered in ‘contaminates’ before we are propelled against all laws of good sense, physics and propriety into (literal) thin air at 600 miles an hour. What ARE these potential contaminates you speak of dear pilot? What, aside from ice, which you referred to separately could be on this goddamn thing? Acid spills? Monkeys? Giant sea anemones? Ryan Reynolds? (I like the man. It’s hard not to as in interviews he comes across as smart, funny and self-effacing but my point here is that he is everywhere, so why not the side of this plane?) Is it my dad’s secret stash of Poitin they’re hosing off the side of the aircraft? Poitin is a potato-based alcohol made illegally in Ireland for centuries that, if imbibed, can conjure blindness, madness or even death and sometimes all three if taken regularly. In fact, as it is 90 proof, a single swig can lead to any one of these symptoms as one can, I’ve been told, just simply be poisoned. By all accounts a lovely wee drop then. What else could be lurking out there in the wild, white oblivion lingering unwelcome on the freezing metal casing of our New York bound projectile? Is it some nasty aircraft-sucking alien that harvests the planes aluminium, slowly eking it from the 747’s skeleton as the flight progresses until at some point we are tantamount to an airborne, blustery peanut gallery careening though the air like a flying cinema audience searching, rather audaciously, for a silver screen? Just seats in the sky. It may now be abundantly clear dear reader that I am not a great flyer. No, not at all.

I used to be a happy flyer. Ever since my first flight from Belfast as a boy on a school trip to London, I was enthralled with flight. I sat wrapt as the stewardess read the safety instructions, too excited to care of their meaning, simply marvelling at her ungainly gestures and indoor life jacket. Then I figured out pressing a little metal button on the right hand of my armrest made my seat lurch back and forth and I explored the boundaries and implications of this discovery for some considerable time. The chap in the seat behind me was not so enamoured with my new favourite thing and told me this numerous times. It had little impact as I was 10, and on holiday without my mum for the first time in my life and my teachers were much further up the plane. I was pretty much just an unsupervised monkey-boy intent on rampant, if essentially harmless, mischief. Seat goes back, seat goes forward (this is perhaps why I love The Simpsons so much too - “bed goes up, bed goes down”). And then, joy of joys, when we started to thunder along the runway and finally, unbelievably, weightlessly, gloriously lifted our little wheels from earth into nascent sky I actually screamed out “WHOO-HOO”. I really did. I still count it among my favourite things that ever happened to me. In fact I think it may have been the first thing I told my mum on the phone that night from the lobby of our London hotel. “How is London?” she asked, excited and proud her little man was out exploring one the most glamorous and historically compelling capitals of the world. “Oh, London’s fine I suppose,” I mumbled, perhaps idly twirling the springy phone cord on the old style phone boxes around my neck and hands and then, remembering, bouncing to life and saying, “But when the plane took off I loved it so much I shouted ‘WHOO-HOO’ really loud and was told to shush by Mr Yates”. Oh how proud she must have been then. Her little man, an idiot monkey-boy that shouldn’t be allowed outside the house never mind out of the country.

But all that childlike wonder changed on a flight about six years ago from Auckland, New Zealand to LAX. The 14-hour flight over uninterrupted ocean hummed along nicely enough initially with movies and peanuts and whatnot for the first seven hours and then BOOM! A thud like we’d been hit by a missile that shook through the plane like a lion’s roar. This followed by a straight drop for about 500 feet (who knows but it felt like forever) until BOOM again on the underside of the plane where I’m guessing we were caught in the hand of heavier air. It felt, however, more like a spectacular punch in the ass.

For the next three hours, yes THREE HOURS, the plane drunkenly stumbled through Pacific time zones like a sleepy gorilla that had been rudely awakened by a hunter’s gunshot and was now doing his best through half-closed eyes to cover as much ground as possible in the flailing hope of neutralizing the threat by some wild accident. At one point, I could have sworn we were lodged in Godzilla’s mouth while he shook his head like a wet dog. If hell on earth (or at least within the earth’s atmosphere) is a place I’ve been to it was then, in those three hours.

The stewardesses were alerted by the pilot to take their seats and those seats happened to be right in front of mine. The look on their faces said it all. They had been all smiles and calm reassurance for the first 30 minutes or so of this madness, but the veneer of placidity was cracking and in their eyes I began to glimpse the kind of fear I was myself feeling. This was some news I really didn’t need. Our guitar player Nathan was in the seat beside me (he is again today) and up to that point we had both been looking dead ahead, locked in frozen, silent panic that perhaps if broken by a glance either side would lead to the real rot setting in. This, though, was just too much. Our eyes met and I swear to God I’m not ashamed to say it but at the exact same time we both reached for the other’s hand our fingers locked and white in an ever tightening vice. Nathan too cites this flight as the formation of his fear of flying and no wonder, as it was the single most terrifying thing I have ever been through, and I sat through the entirety of Hudson Hawk. When we touched down in LA, we vowed never to get on another flight ever again. The next day we flew to Portland.

This is the thing, you just can’t do a job like this and not get on a plane. If you want to do well all around the world you have to fly there. Sure, in theory you could go by boat and rail but instead of being able to do 150-250 gigs a year you limit yourself to about 20. That or you could just never leave your home and where the hell is the fun in that?

This week alone we have played three radio acoustic sessions per day in L.A., San Diego, San Francisco, Portland and Denver and now we’re on our giddy (Bloody Marys) way to New York, which is my favourite place on earth. To say we have a blessed life is a ridiculous understatement. We have the life I dreamed I would have when I was a kid playing my tennis racket guitar along to AC/DC records and a little flight fever isn’t going to stand in the way of us living that dream for as long as it’s offered to us. So a raised vodka and tomato juice to you all from 39,000ft above America. There is peace up here, I know there is.

GL x
(hide spoiler)]

[Perfection *Sherlock's Girl*]

You are so cute. #letmeloveyou

[Perfection *Sherlock's Girl*]

I swear this 1 topic has been turned into me fangirling about Gary. I think some1 should rename this topic.

[Perfection *Sherlock's Girl*]

"Gary Lightbody’s voice is so smooth I could spread it on toast"

^^^^^ This.

[Perfection *Sherlock's Girl*]

I wish there was enough space on my walls to do this.

[Perfection *Sherlock's Girl*]

Posting for the relevance. But if he had said Louis... x_x

[Perfection *Sherlock's Girl*]

WELL SHIT.
His eyesssssssssssssssss

[Perfection *Sherlock's Girl*]

Questions that people asked him and his answers [ I picked out my favourites]:

First crush
Karen Frazer in P2 at Rathmore primary school in Bangor, County Down. I shared my sam spuds with her and she asked me if I loved her. I said ‘I’ll tell you after PE’. After much thought and exercise I said I did.

First three words your friends would use to describe you
Insufferable drunken ass.

Last time someone criticised your work
Ha. You’re kidding right? Every day if you hunt for it. About five years ago I gave up worrying about what’s said about us.

Last great meal you cooked
You’d have to ask the person who I cooked it for, but I do OK in the kitchen. I make a pretty good stab at most things with varying results.

Last time you were star struck
We’ve done 20 dates of the U2 360° tour this summer and I still get star struck around U2. Not sure I’ll ever not think it’s mad to be talking to Bono as I grew up on U2.

First time you realised you were famous
When the day comes I’ll let you know.

First great piece of advice you were given
Fire burny.

First thing you’d do if you ran the country
Everybody take the day off to regroup. National free spa day. We’re all stressed for a lot of reasons right now and a spa won’t solve any of it, but for a few hours, wouldn’t it be nice?

Last time you made an impulse buy and regretted it
Some years back I bought a camera in Portland and that night, having taken approximately zero pictures, I jumped in the hotel pool fully clothed with it in my pocket. Idiot you say? Yup.

First thing you think of when you wake up in the morning
I should know better by now.

Last thing you think of before you go to sleep
Every single thing ever, ever, ever, ever. Resulting in no sleep at all.

Last time you were chatted up
Ha. Doesn’t happen very often. Honestly don’t know. Actually, have I been?

You haven't met me yet bby.<3

[Obsessionist]

Perfection *Sherlock's Girl* wrote: "

I wish there was enough space on my walls to do this."

love that song

[Perfection *Sherlock's Girl*]

Somebody posted a bunch of Gary pics and at the bottom of the post I happened to read the tags:

"#Gary Lightbody" "Snow Patrol" "Lyrical genius"

They forgot "perfect"

[Obsessionist]

just pretend they did

[Perfection *Sherlock's Girl*]

Legit 1 of my favourite songs by them.

[Obsessionist]

love the lyrics

[Perfection *Sherlock's Girl*]

Obsessionist wrote: "just pretend they did"

Listen to Crack the Shutters.

[Obsessionist]

I am

[Perfection *Sherlock's Girl*]

Obsessionist wrote: "I am"

Like it?

[Obsessionist]

yes

[Perfection *Sherlock's Girl*]

Well duh. How can some1 not. Well except for that 1 bitch who said that it sounds like something out of a high school girl's diary. Bitch please, you couldn't write half as well if your life depended on it.

[Perfection *Sherlock's Girl*]

A girl combined all of Gary's bromances.

Here if you're interested

This is why Tumblr's awesome.

[Obsessionist]

such a nice girl

[Obsessionist]

Perfection *Sherlock's Girl* wrote: "Well duh. How can some1 not. Well except for that 1 bitch who said that it sounds like something out of a high school girl's diary. Bitch please, you couldn't write half as well if your life depend..."

silly girl, she's just jelly that he posses the skills she'l never have

[Perfection *Sherlock's Girl*]

Exactly. He's a success and she isn't. Which is why I don't even remember her name now. It may have been a he. Idgaf actually. But yeah.

[Perfection *Sherlock's Girl*]

Obsessionist wrote: "such a nice girl"

It was a grown woman actually. She was some kind of music reviewer I think.

[Obsessionist]

probs a girl

[Perfection *Sherlock's Girl*]

[Perfection *Sherlock's Girl*]

Is he hitting himself on the face with a spatula?

[Perfection *Sherlock's Girl*]

What is it about curls? "Curls get girls" lol.XD

[Obsessionist]

1D and JB
what kind of sorcery is this!

[Perfection *Sherlock's Girl*]

"It’s almost time to go. Before he heads off I ask him for one final definition. Gary, I say, what is happiness? He tells me a story. It’s about a gig. A festival in Switzerland. “It was shitty and raining all day. It wasn’t rainy during our set but it was cloudy and we played Run. And literally when I sang, ‘light up, light up’ for the first time the sun came out from behind the clouds and it lit the whole place up and everybody just smiled; 20,000, 25,000 people. “I don’t believe in God but if these things keep happening maybe I’ll change my stance. There were tears running down people’s faces. I’m just looking around at the people I went through so much with together …” He leaves the story there. On stage, with friends. Far from lonely. That’s the kind of moment he loves. He’s hoping for more."

Crying.

[Perfection *Sherlock's Girl*]

Obsessionist wrote: "1D and JB
what kind of sorcery is this!"

I'm a bit confused. What is you talking about?

[Perfection *Sherlock's Girl*]

I'm getting off the Gary tag on Tumblr or I swear this discussion is gonna reach a few more pages right away.

Anybody who had to deal with this, please don't judge me. Feels are a terrible thing. Ask any fangirl.

[Perfection *Sherlock's Girl*]

Just something to make you happy.<3

[Ellie , QE3, the Oh so Great and Amazing Opera and Classical Lover]

Perfection *Sherlock's Girl* wrote: ""Just got asked in an interview about what we do backstage before a show. This! This is what we do."



Casually make owls on plates with vegetables Gary. Go you."

Hahahahaha. XD

[Ellie , QE3, the Oh so Great and Amazing Opera and Classical Lover]

Perfection *Sherlock's Girl* wrote: "I'm going through the Gary Lightbody tag on Tumblr and I see this post:

"I am still fangirling over Ed and Gary singing Chasing Cars together...
I’ve watched the video like 20 times already.

It’..."

I think that's the best "I regret nothing" gif I've ever seen.

[Ellie , QE3, the Oh so Great and Amazing Opera and Classical Lover]

Perfection *Sherlock's Girl* wrote: "

I'm listening to Run on loop which may seem stupid since I need to escape from Gary feels and it's a Snow Patrol song but I just can't stop fangirling. I need this song, WHY IS THE TAYLOR SWIFT F..."

How do you mean, it's complicated?

[Ellie , QE3, the Oh so Great and Amazing Opera and Classical Lover]

Perfection *Sherlock's Girl* wrote: "ELLIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

TAYLOR IS DOING A DUET WITH BOTH ED AND GARY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"Moving away from her country roots into more mainstream pop is a risk - but its paid..."

EEEEE!!!! You must be fangirling SO HARD right now!!!!! :D :D :D

[Ellie , QE3, the Oh so Great and Amazing Opera and Classical Lover]

Perfection *Sherlock's Girl* wrote: "I don't even care if you don't like Titanic but you have to listen to this. I'm almost in tears.

Titanic + One Direction"

Wait....what is it?

[Ellie , QE3, the Oh so Great and Amazing Opera and Classical Lover]

Perfection *Sherlock's Girl* wrote: "ELLIE DID YOU WATCH THE VIDEO??????????????
I POSTED THE LINK IN POST 373!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

What video???? The new song??!????

[Ellie , QE3, the Oh so Great and Amazing Opera and Classical Lover]

Perfection *Sherlock's Girl* wrote: "

Is he hitting himself on the face with a spatula?"

It actually looks like a paper face to me.

[Ellie , QE3, the Oh so Great and Amazing Opera and Classical Lover]

Obsessionist wrote: "1D and JB
what kind of sorcery is this!"

Eh? Are they doing a song together?! o.O

[Dani]

Someone bring me up to speed. Please!

[Ellie , QE3, the Oh so Great and Amazing Opera and Classical Lover]

Hiya! Perfection has/is going through another Gary fangirling phase. XD

[Dani]

Ellie (a.k.a. QE3) wrote: "Hiya! Perfection has/is going through another Gary fangirling phase. XD"

Again?!

[Perfection *Sherlock's Girl*]

Ellie (a.k.a. QE3) wrote: "I think that's the best "I regret nothing" gif I've ever seen."

YOU'VE NEVER SEEN IT BEFORE? Unbelievable. Neither Cy nor I have used it here?! *le gasp*

[Perfection *Sherlock's Girl*]

Ellie (a.k.a. QE3) wrote: "How do you mean, it's complicated?"

Her damn love life is so complicated and everybody's talking about We are Never Ever Getting Back Together and I'm just having to go through all this petty drama and bullshit coz Tumblr was useless coz there's not really a Taylor Swift fandom on Tumblr and instead I was just stuck on the Gary tag which is why you had to deal with all that I did to this discussion. And to make it worse they just keep talking about her love life and how she's here to stay, I GET IT. NOW TELL ME ABOUT THE SONGS I WANNA KNOW ABOUT AND LET. ME. GO. I DON'T LIKE YOU STUPID PEASANTS.

[Perfection *Sherlock's Girl*]

Ellie (a.k.a. QE3) wrote: "EEEEE!!!! You must be fangirling SO HARD right now!!!!! :D :D :D"

I'm afraid of what I'll do if Ed and Gary actually record a song together.

[Perfection *Sherlock's Girl*]

Ellie (a.k.a. QE3) wrote: "Perfection *Sherlock's Girl* wrote: "I don't even care if you don't like Titanic but you have to listen to this. I'm almost in tears.

Titanic + One Direction"

Wait....what is it?"

Click the link. And click the play button. And listen.

[Perfection *Sherlock's Girl*]

Ellie (a.k.a. QE3) wrote: "Perfection *Sherlock's Girl* wrote: "ELLIE DID YOU WATCH THE VIDEO??????????????
I POSTED THE LINK IN POST 373!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

What video???? The new song??!????"

You could just look at that post. >.<

[Perfection *Sherlock's Girl*]

Ellie (a.k.a. QE3) wrote: "Obsessionist wrote: "1D and JB
what kind of sorcery is this!"

Eh? Are they doing a song together?! o.O"

There have been rumours of that for ages. But not on the new album unfortunately.

That song's gonna win everything it's nominated for.XD