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message 1: by Nora aka Diva (new)

Nora aka Diva (DuctTapeDiva) | 500 comments I was wondering what everyone thinks of "friends with benefits" type arrangements and why you feel that way.
We already know that Kyle finds it disgusting although I'd kinda like to know why. I'm nosy like that, lol.


message 2: by J.S. (new)

J.S. Bailey (jsbailey) | 130 comments I have no experience in such matters, but here's what I think: When two people give themselves to each other in sex, there is going to be some level of emotional attachment no matter how hard the parties involved try to avoid that kind of attachment. If the level of attachment is drastically different between the, ahem, "friends," then chances are someone's feelings are going to be hurt and the more "attached" individual will feel that they are being used, which, in essence, they are.

I suppose one could argue that this could be the case in any type of romantic relationship, but I just feel that "friends with benefits" types of relationships can lead to a lot of brokenness.


message 3: by Dustin the wind Crazy little brown owl, Colorful Colorado (new)

Dustin the wind Crazy little brown owl (dustpancrazy) | 2570 comments Mod
I thought Friends With Benefits was a good movie. I haven't seen No Strings Attached, but I heard Friends With Benefits is better.


message 4: by Nora aka Diva (new)

Nora aka Diva (DuctTapeDiva) | 500 comments J. S. wrote: "I have no experience in such matters, but here's what I think: When two people give themselves to each other in sex, there is going to be some level of emotional attachment no matter how hard the p..."

Honestly it's not something a person who cannot seperate sex from love should do.
Out of all the FWB relationships I've had only one ended badly but he was crazy anyway and that was a poor choice.


message 5: by Becca (new)

Becca (goblinfan) | 402 comments I have no problems with it. It gets all that anxiety curiosity out of your system. Great way to kill boredom and calories too. Not to mention stress... I could go on forever.
I've had a couple of FWBs, and the one that worked the best involved a married man. Now I know most of y'all are probably thinking very bad things about that, but he's still married and has a kid now. All he ever wanted was sex, and I knew from the start that was all it would ever be so I had no problems with that. There was no confusion.

There's a guy that I've kinda been 'testing the waters' with lately, and I'm not sure if I'm the kind of person that will do that any more. Not because my opinion of it has changed, which it hasn't. I guess I just don't want to share is all. I don't want questions in a relationship, I want solid answers. Or at least more of the answers instead of questions.


message 6: by Dustin the wind Crazy little brown owl, Colorful Colorado (new)

Dustin the wind Crazy little brown owl (dustpancrazy) | 2570 comments Mod
In the movies the people just end up emotionally attached and turn into a typical couple relationship anyway.

Still anxious to hear Kyle's input :-)


message 7: by Nora aka Diva (last edited Jun 13, 2012 01:04AM) (new)

Nora aka Diva (DuctTapeDiva) | 500 comments Yeah but in the movies the severely technologically humans always manage to win over the far supierior alien races too. Can't trust what you see in movies. lol


message 8: by Dustin the wind Crazy little brown owl, Colorful Colorado (new)

Dustin the wind Crazy little brown owl (dustpancrazy) | 2570 comments Mod
Nora aka Diva wrote: "Can't trust what you see in movies. lol "

Now you tell me - I needed to hear that before I jumped off my roof and tried to fly :-)


message 9: by Becca (new)

Becca (goblinfan) | 402 comments That's bull crap- I've been time traveling for years now.


message 10: by Dustin the wind Crazy little brown owl, Colorful Colorado (new)

Dustin the wind Crazy little brown owl (dustpancrazy) | 2570 comments Mod
Becca, if you can time travel, why are you still working at Wal-Mart?


message 11: by Dustin the wind Crazy little brown owl, Colorful Colorado (new)

Dustin the wind Crazy little brown owl (dustpancrazy) | 2570 comments Mod
Kyle, thanks for weighing in on this issue :-)

Now get ready to fight!
(not me, but possibly a couple of the ladies in this thread such as Nora the Ninja and Becca the Back slasher)

p.s. don't take me too seriously - I'm just crazy.


message 12: by Nora aka Diva (new)

Nora aka Diva (DuctTapeDiva) | 500 comments Kyle ~The Rebel Leader~ wrote: "I find 'Friends With Benefits' disgusting because:

1. You're either friends or you're lovers.
2. Labelling sex as a 'benefit' is immature.

These type of relationships usually lead to heart break..."


1.Lovers implies that there is love involved and that the relationship is mutually exclusive.
2. Why do you consider that immature?

Honestly at least around here most young people prefer the term fuck buddy to friends with benefits. It's the older and typically more mature people who prefer a less vulgar term.
People who equate sex with love, or who just want casual sex on the side. Actually people who cannot separate sex from love would be the least likely to get involved in this type of arrangement. casual sex on the side? On the side of what?

sex to kill boredom? I think I was a teenager the last time I said "I'm bored, you wanna fuck?" to anyone. lol. I have a hobby, several. Reading and drawing just don't make a substitute for sex. If they do for you, odds are you're doing it wrong. lmao.

Relationships that end badly break hearts, cheating lovers, cheating boy/girlfiends break hearts, failed marriages can break hearts. Sex with someone you're comfortable being naked around at 2 in the afternoon, typically not so much.


message 13: by Dustin the wind Crazy little brown owl, Colorful Colorado (new)

Dustin the wind Crazy little brown owl (dustpancrazy) | 2570 comments Mod
Nora aka Diva wrote: "Reading and drawing just don't make a substitute for sex. If they do for you, odds are you're doing it wrong. lmao."

This is such funny comment that I burst out laughing when I read it. Thank You! :-)


message 14: by Dustin the wind Crazy little brown owl, Colorful Colorado (new)

Dustin the wind Crazy little brown owl (dustpancrazy) | 2570 comments Mod
Nora aka Diva wrote: "Honestly at least around here most young people prefer the term fuck buddy to friends with benefits. It's the older and typically more mature people who prefer a less vulgar term. "

Here too. When I had my job at the movie theater, one of my co-workers would use this term and feel a need to tell me about the latest experience every time we met in the break room.


message 15: by Nora aka Diva (new)

Nora aka Diva (DuctTapeDiva) | 500 comments Dustin Crazy little brown owl wrote: "This is such funny comment that I burst out laughing when I read it. Thank You! :-) ..."

You're welcome!
:)


message 16: by Becca (last edited Jun 14, 2012 09:29AM) (new)

Becca (goblinfan) | 402 comments Nora aka Diva wrote: "Kyle ~The Rebel Leader~ wrote: "I find 'Friends With Benefits' disgusting because:

1. You're either friends or you're lovers.
2. Labelling sex as a 'benefit' is immature.

These type of relation..."


Thank you Nora! That was awesome. Different strokes for different folks. And for the record Dustin, I prefer to stab and slash people in the front so I can see the look on their faces. Also the blood splattering my face is like really cool camo paint, and its awesome! :D


message 17: by Becca (new)

Becca (goblinfan) | 402 comments As for getting a hobby... Who says sex can't be a hobby?


message 18: by Nora aka Diva (new)

Nora aka Diva (DuctTapeDiva) | 500 comments Becca wrote: "As for getting a hobby... Who says sex can't be a hobby?"

I know, right!


message 19: by Becca (new)

Becca (goblinfan) | 402 comments ;D


message 20: by Nora aka Diva (new)

Nora aka Diva (DuctTapeDiva) | 500 comments What? No answers, Kyle?


message 21: by Marc-Antoine (new)

Marc-Antoine I have an issue with finding married people make good friends with benefits, you should be thinking of the families you could be breaking up. I should think it stops being fun when you are destroying people's lives.


message 22: by Nora aka Diva (new)

Nora aka Diva (DuctTapeDiva) | 500 comments Honestly, why is a married person putting themselves in the position in the first place? If they are willing to put their marriage at risk for sex, well I think that's their problem. Perhaps they need to reevaluate who they have become.


message 23: by Marc-Antoine (new)

Marc-Antoine No disagreement there, but why would you want to be part of it?


message 24: by Nora aka Diva (new)

Nora aka Diva (DuctTapeDiva) | 500 comments I can't say that I would or wouldn't so far I haven't run into that situation. Closest I have experienced is finding out later that the guy had a pregger gf at home. I did end that immediately but I can't say that makes me a better person than those who wouldn't have, Just different than. kwim?


message 25: by Becca (new)

Becca (goblinfan) | 402 comments It doesn't matter if I decide yes or no, to sleeping with a married person. Like Nora said, the married person has already chosen to cheat, I didn't put a gun to his/her head and make them cheat. The marriage is already over if one of them is cheating. How many marriages go down the drain without cheating? Maybe the cheater shouldn't have gotten married in the first place. Something to keep in mind: if you don't get married, you can't get divorced.


message 26: by Nora aka Diva (last edited Jul 03, 2012 08:15AM) (new)

Nora aka Diva (DuctTapeDiva) | 500 comments Exactly Becca, the person willing to cheat in a marriage has already mentally/emotionally left that marraige. Yeah, I'll admit I cheated on my ex when we were married and honestly I have never felt guilty over it.


message 27: by Becca (new)

Becca (goblinfan) | 402 comments It also depends on how emotional the cheater can be. My friend that I had a FWB arrangement with is still married to his wife and has a kid now. I asked him before if he loved his wife, and he always said yes. That he would never leave his wife. But he just liked to have sex a lot more than she did.


message 28: by Nora aka Diva (new)

Nora aka Diva (DuctTapeDiva) | 500 comments I'm the one who filed for divorce many years later, but for other reasons. I didn't leave my ex for another man, is what I mean.


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