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Jim Webster, (In On a Chance! )
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And now we're teaching a cat to dance!https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B...
Maljie. Teaching a Cat to Dance
In this volume we stand shoulder to shoulder with Maljie as she explores the intricacies of philosophy, marvel at her mastery of pre-paid indemnification plans, and assist her in the design of foundation garments. When you read this, not only will you discover just who wears the trousers, but you can indulge in a spot of fishing and enjoy the quaint fertility rites of our great city. This book contains fashion, honey, orphans and the importance of dipping your money in vinegar to ensure it is safe. Indeed you may even learn how to teach a cat to dance.
Excellent news. I do like the term ‘foundation garments’ it calls to mind wire and whalebone which already has me giggling a bit.Cheers
MTM
M.T. wrote: "Excellent news. I do like the term ‘foundation garments’ it calls to mind wire and whalebone which already has me giggling a bit.Cheers
MTM"
wire and whalebone are the very least of it :-)
And more on the dogs and quads fronthttps://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B08LCM6C5Z
Wool Gathering
For this collection of stories, Sal is joined by Terry Wogan, Janis Joplin and numerous dairy cows. Meet pheasants, Herdwicks, Border Collies, and the occasional pink teddy bear. Welcome to the world of administrative overload and political incomprehension. All human life, (or at least all that hasn't already fled screaming for sanctuary) is here.
Excellent, will grab a copy to read in hospital.
Hopefully it will speed your recovery :-)
Lucky I didn't tell the tale of using paraffin to cure constipation in sheep :-)
Jim wrote: "Lucky I didn't tell the tale of using paraffin to cure constipation in sheep :-)"Thank you.
Alicia wrote: "Jim wrote: "Lucky I didn't tell the tale of using paraffin to cure constipation in sheep :-)"Thank you."
:-)
And we have a new book, a full novel.Tallis Steelyard. A Fear of Heights
[bookcover:Tallis Steelyard. A Fear of Heights|57480544
Available for the discerning and undiscerning alike :-)
https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B...
In this novel, recounted by Tallis Steelyard in his own inimitable manner, we discover what happens when the hierarchy plots to take control of the Shrine to Aea in her Aspect as the Personification of Tempered Enthusiasm. Will the incumbent be exiled to a minor fane in the far north? Will Tallis end up having to do a proper job? Does ordination and elevation beckon for Maljie?
This story includes the Idiosyncratic Diaconate, night soil carts, Partannese bandit chieftains, a stylite, a large dog and some over-spiced food. On top of this we have not one but two Autocephalous Patriarchs and a theologically sanctioned beggar.
Oh My! That sounds irresistable :D
Hey, Gingerlily is Back :-)Hello stranger, sit down, take a glass with us
I read the posts every few days, but rarely comment. I'm really busy these days. But I will have breakfast with you now if you want :)
Gingerlily - The Full Wild wrote: "I read the posts every few days, but rarely comment. I'm really busy these days. But I will have breakfast with you now if you want :)"
Just glad to know you're still in the land of the living. To many people just disappear :-(
Agreed, Jim!Hi Gingerlily!
I know I said it a while back, but would love to catch up for a pint or several some time this year with anyone that can tolerate me when I'm deep in my drink and can't stop yapping on!
they cannot keep us penned up for ever!
Hi Stuart! Hi Jim. Yes I am still in the land of the living, very much so. My main occupation at the moment is the wacky world of livestreams. I am a moderator for a streamer who has sometimes over 1000 viewers at a time and I have to keep them in order. Its worse than herding cats!!
I have absolutely no idea what you just said! :-)
LOL!!A livestream is someone broadcasting whatever they are doing on a streaming platform. Like live tv but on the internet. A lot of this would be people playing video games. people can watch them and interact through typing in a chat window, the streamer can see what they type and respond to it.
This has all the problems of any mob of people on the internet, and so has to be moderated. Which is where I come in. its great fun banning people!
The streamer I moderate for plays Minecraft, and he also puts a lot of minecraft videos up on Youtube.
All very complicated for a simple drunk like me. Glad you're ok though!
yeah, thats not a given these days... is it!
You'll be pleased to know I have almost found the right balance of alcohol and substances so as to both write my mad books and function with only occasional disasters in this modern day world!
Thats quite the achievement. Well done :D
I like to think so! Of course, it's all relative. By most measures, I guess I'd be considered some sort of hopeless delinquent hell bent on a tragic finale. Better to go up in flames on the highway than to rust out back I reckon though!
I can see the attraction of that :) Not my choice though. Just let me rust in pieces ;)
Not so much a choice these days for me - more an obligation!
Gingerlily - The Full Wild wrote: "LOL!!A livestream is someone broadcasting whatever they are doing on a streaming platform. Like live tv but on the internet. A lot of this would be people playing video games. people can watch th..."
I think I might have understood that, but it's the world that I've never entered
I'm spared all sorts of temptations by a glacially slow line speed :-)
Glad they're keeping you busy and amused :-)
Stuart wrote: "I like to think so! Of course, it's all relative. By most measures, I guess I'd be considered some sort of hopeless delinquent hell bent on a tragic finale. Better to go up in flames on the highway..."I don't have a problem with people who decide to slacken off a bit, and I don't have a problem with people who insist on continuing to live at full speed.
But I feel sad for those who never really lived at all ;-(
Are you west country Jim? A friend of mine has just moved down to Somerset and he keeps going mad at me about the broadband speed!
Jim wrote: "Stuart wrote: "I like to think so! Of course, it's all relative. By most measures, I guess I'd be considered some sort of hopeless delinquent hell bent on a tragic finale. Better to go up in flames..."Amen to that. I've been lurking. :-)
Stuart wrote: "Are you west country Jim? A friend of mine has just moved down to Somerset and he keeps going mad at me about the broadband speed!"South Cumbria, but equally far from what passes from civilisation :-)
Jim I wasn't going to suggest you try it out because I am well aware of your internet limitations :)It is keeping me busy and amused though.
Geoff, Darren, Anita, and I are still chatting every monday, and we all agree that your Facebook postings of funny stuff is excellent!!
And a new collection in the dog and quads worldLook What the Cat Brought In
Yet more observations on rural life. We have cattle, environmentalists, a plethora of new thinking as Defra plunges into the new world but more importantly we still have our Loyal Border Collie, Sal. She is joined in a starring role by Billy, the newly arrived farm cat. As well as this we have diversification opportunities for those wishing to serve niche markets, living in the past, and the secret of perfect hair.
https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B092PG4B4X
Oooo jolly dee! :-) Another one to add to my collection.
Glad you approve. I think Bill looks majestic :-)
I'd got the first two Tsarina Sector novels out and then the publisher faded. So I was left with the manuscripts. So thanks to government and other bodies shutting down with lockdown I've got the series finished and here it is!Justice 4.1
https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B...
War 2.2
https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B...
Law 3.3
https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B...
Plague 1.4
https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B...
Join Haldar Drom of the Governors Investigation Office as he tries to stop ill-intentioned people turning his home world into a pirate sanctuary or merely sterilising it
Well I'm pretty chuffed :-)Now it's out there I feel there's a load of my mind. I had this vague feeling of guilt for the people who had bought books 1 and 2 and were apparently still waiting.
So this time I was in charge and the whole damned lot went out on the same morning :-)
Jim wrote: "Well I'm pretty chuffed :-)Now it's out there I feel there's a load of my mind. I had this vague feeling of guilt for the people who had bought books 1 and 2 and were apparently still waiting.
So ..."
Let me know when you've done the D2D thing on these and I will put them in my newsletter ... it'll probably be september but they will definitely get a mention. Right. Off to buy the new ones now.
M.T. wrote: "Jim wrote: "Well I'm pretty chuffed :-)Now it's out there I feel there's a load of my mind. I had this vague feeling of guilt for the people who had bought books 1 and 2 and were apparently still ..."
You just reminded me of something I've still got to do
Me duck, I'm due to be promoting your book this month. Newsletter goes out on Thursday which means it has to be done today or tomorrow. Do you have a Books2Read link for me?
And another SF bookSame universe, different protagonists, it's the start of the Touchdown collection.
In On a Chance
https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B...
When Storth arrives home after a long absence, there’s are a few things that need sorting out. Sometimes they can be more complicated than you initially thought.
But at least there are opportunities for an honest man to make money, with maidens to be rescued and tyrants slain, or was it the other way about.
And who uses energy carbines any more? Military fashions have moved on.
“You are Storth, ex-pilot and thief.”
“I have done rather more than that.” Storth sounded genuinely aggrieved.
“Yes but this is meant to be an identity check, not a charge sheet. We also felt mercenary, smuggler and thief verged on the tautological.”
“Oh, well I’m Storth.”
“And you are Hutton, wife of Storth, just a thief.”
“You could call me ‘Hutton, wife of Storth, housewife and thief’ if it makes it any better for your records.”
UK Amazon Kindle Forum
Books mentioned in this topic
In On a Chance (other topics)Justice 4.1 (other topics)
Law 3.3 (other topics)
Plague 1.4 (other topics)
War 2.2 (other topics)
More...
Maljie. Just one thing after another
https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B0872JDBF8
Once more Tallis Steelyard chronicles the life of Maljie, a lady of his acquaintance. Discover the wonders of the Hermeneutic Catherine Wheel, marvel at the use of eye-watering quantities of hot spices. We have bell ringers, pop-up book shops, exploding sedan chairs, jobbing builders, literary criticism, horse theft and a revolutionary mob.
We also discover what happens when a maiden, riding a white palfrey led by a dwarf, appears on the scene.
AND
Tallis Steelyard, preparing the ground, and other stories.
https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B0872GGLF9
More of the wit, wisdom and jumbled musings of Tallis Steelyard. Meet a vengeful Lady Bountiful, an artist who smokes only the finest hallucinogenic lichens, and wonder at the audacity of the rogue who attempts to drown a poet! Indeed after reading this book you may never look at young boys and their dogs, onions, lumberjacks or usurers in quite the same way again.
A book that plumbs the depths of degradation, from murder to folk dancing, from the theft of pastry cooks to the playing of a bladder pipe in public.