Weekly Short Stories Contest and Company! discussion
Weekly Poetry Stuffage
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Week 123 (May 22nd to May 29th). Poems. Topic: Car Music
Cheyenne wrote: "M it's funny that you've ranked excellent above superior. I'm so used to it going the other way aroundYour scale reminded me of choir competitions scales, which go like this:
Superior
Excellent
G..."
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
Terry: Someone agreed to marry that guy?Me: TERRY! You're supposed to be arguing with Septimus about coincidence.
Terry: Okay, okay - though didn't you already cover this in chapter seven.
Me: It deserves reiteration, and besides you were thinking to yourself; you still need to throw it in Septimus's face.
Terry: And he'll just agree to help me and we'll all be dandy?
Me: No, you have leverage - you're going to make a deal with him.
Terry: So it's all business? The only way I can get help is to make a deal? You're kinda cynical sometimes.
Me: The very first chapter has you agreeing to help Dante for absolutely no reason.
Terry: Which I give up on after one conversation, which comes to bite me in the ass when he shows up to kill me for no apparant reason.
Me: Well ... I'm getting to that.
Terry: I can't wait to find out.
Me: THEN GET BACK IN THE SCENE!
Pricilla: Ugh. What complainers.Me: Shush. You're not supposed to be around.
Pricilla: Oh right. I'm still a weak little girl too scared to do my job.
Me: It's called character development.
Pricilla: Whatever.
Me: Quiet. I need to edit chapter two so I can put it up on Goodreads.
Pricilla: I have no idea why you're still here then. Exercise some self-control. Don't be so weak.
Me: Oh shut up.
►►♫ Elizabeth ♫◄◄ wrote: "If you don't mind me asking, what are all of these...scenes that everyone's writing?"Elizabeth, I'll elaborate on Edward's accurate but terse description. Al came up with the idea of getting to know better the characters one has written by interacting with them. This is in a thread called Get to Know Your Character(Popcorn Served) in the games section. It has now come to be called 'popcorn'. (An amazingly appropriate name, actually.)
Everyone once in a while the popcorn spills out of its proper 'container' into the aisles of other threads. Writing 'popcorn' is actually a lot of fun and quite addictive. We look forward to see your characters in verbal action.
Moralist: It would seem that you are hanging around with a whack of whiners and complainers, here in the WSS.Me: Is that a complaint?
Moralist: [Sighs.] Why do you find that kind of easy quip worth saying? It is so obvious and so irrelevant. I used to think you had more intelligence than that, but really....
Me: Al, I would like to ask you a quest—
Moralist: Why are you bugging Al? And why are you ignoring me?!
Me: [Ignoring him.] Al, have you noticed that our characters like to wh—
Moralist: STOP IGNORING ME!
Me: Sorry about that, Al. Have you noticed that our characters like to whine?
Moralist: I suppose you are including me, in that lot.
Me: [Remains quiet.]
Moralist: I think that that is unfair and, more than that, an inaccurate description.
Me: [Begins to look at his fingernails because they seem to be a bit too long. Yup, they are. Goes to find the clippers and fingernail file.]
Moralist: You can't get away from me that easily!
Terry: So, I can talk now?Me: That was an awful chapter.
Terry: Don't blame me; I was hilarious.
Me: It should've been a major turning point, but it's all so bland.
Terry: That just means you'll have a lot of revision to look forward to.
Me: I detest revi- are we in a popcorn?
Terry: Maybe.
Me: Terry!
Terry: You know, if you read Guy's post up-down, the first line almost exclusive says Mmmmm ... I'm hungry.
Me: ... What?
Terry: I'm hungry.
Me: No, I mean ... never-
Terry: Perhaps you should go to bed.
Me: If you keep slipping into popcorn, I'm going to make you do another scene.
Terry: That doesn't make any sense. To see if I "keep slipiing into popcorn" you'd have to stay up to see if I popcorn again. That's just a collosal waste of time, especially if I don't do it again.
Me: That's it, we're going another chapter.
Terry: But I'm tired.
Me: Okay, you win. Can't focus.Terry: Yippie. Hey, Moralist, why did religious man cross the road?
Me: This joke can't possibly end well.
Terry: ... Good point. Nevermind.
Moralist: I think someone is trying to make fun of me. What is it about people that they think it is appropriate to take pot shots at people like myself who take the problem of knowing right from wrong very seriously?Professor: Well, there are basically two reasons.
Moralist: Go away. I am not interested in your over-thought, over-wrought pontifications. I'm thinking of a clever reply to Terry's taunt.
Professor: [Ignoring him] The first is that right and wrong is always subjective and relative; and, even more amusingly, they often arises from the application of the other.
Moralist: That is plain and simple BS. Stop interrupting me. Hmmmmm. Why did the religious ...
Professor: The second is that moralists lack humour, but usually think that they have it.
Moralist: [Laughs] That's not true. Even now I am thinking of a joke.
Professor: But that is the point. If you have to think of a joke, how funny can it be?
Moralist: How would you know that? You aren't funny, and can't tell a joke!
Professor: I know. I am too much enamoured with what I am thinking to be very good at jokes. Or, at least that is what my shrink says. I don't think I believe him, though. [Pauses.] Because he heard God calling him.
Moralist: That isn't funny.
Professor: I know.
Moralist: So why did you say it?
Professor: It was all I could think of. [Pause. Neither speak.]
Moralist: I know! Because it was the right thing to do.
Professor: That isn't funny either.
Moralist: How do you know? It might be.
Professor: I know because I didn't laugh.
Moralist: But that's not definitive. Laughter, by definition, is subjective.
Professor: [Laughs] But as a moralist, you reject subjectivity.
Moralist: I do not!
Professor: [Laughs, and pulls out his pipe and tobacco.]
Moralist: But I don't!
Professor: [Lights a match, draws the flame into the bowl until the tobacco is well lit. A cloud of blow smoke surrounds his head.]
Moralist: I don't!
Terry [uncertainly]: The answer is ...Me: Don't say it. It's too awful.
Caroline: He crossed in hopes he'd get hit by a car and see the Other Side.
Me: Where did you come from?
Me: Wow. It seems Edward and Guy were busy while I was gone.Pricilla: Why is any of this non sense important? Moralist needs to stop letting Guy push him around. Honestly, how good of a moralist is he really if it's easy to enrage him?
Me: Be nice!
Pricilla: I'm just thinking aloud. And Terry has the same problem--at Edward's beck and call.
Me: You're at mine.
Pricilla: No. That weak Sidra is. I haven't actually appeared in the story yet.
Me: Yes you have!
Pricilla: No you never gave those women a name.
Me: Well it's not my fault you've changed your name in every life you've ever lived!
Edward wrote: "Terry [uncertainly]: The answer is ...Me: Don't say it. It's too awful.
Caroline: He crossed in hopes he'd get hit by a car and see the Other Side.
Me: Where did you come from?"
Groan!
Alex (Al) wrote: "Frank: For your information, Terry, I'm not a bad guy at all. It's Al who makes me look bad. Andrea, my ex-wife and I were in love, and Guy, I do not whine.Me: I beg to differ.
Frank: On what?
Me:..."
LoL!
Still laughing! Now to get back to cleaning house.
Me: Actually, Terry is the most unruly character I've ever invented by mistake. First, he wasn't supposed to be the story at all, he just appeared as "a beacon of blonde hair," and then he was just supposed to a be a side character. Now he's one of the two main characters.Terry: Oh. Whoops.
Caroline: And what about me?
Me: You're not even in this novel.
Guy wrote: "Edward wrote: "Terry [uncertainly]: The answer is ...Me: Don't say it. It's too awful.
Caroline: He crossed in hopes he'd get hit by a car and see the Other Side.
Me: Where did you come from?"
Groan!"
Indeed.
Muse: (With a sultry look.) Do I like taking longs walks on beaches?M: (Smiling in spite of himself.) You like anything that’s hauntingly romantic.
Muse: Oh? Such as.
M: The sea wind at sunset, the theme from The Sandpiper, the way someone looks at you when she’s in love with you and can’t help herself.
Muse: (Pulling her hair back.) You mean this look?
M: You should be ashamed of yourself!Muse: (Suddenly innocent.) Me? What have I done?
M: (Shaking his head.) Here.
Muse: (Taking the martini.) You know something I like about our relationship?
M: The fact that I’m always at a disadvantage?
Muse: (Smiling.) That, too. (She fingers the toothpick and takes a bite out of the olive.) We meet in the best of times and places you’ve known. The beautiful stereo you used to have and that finally burned out is playing the music it used to play. There’s an ocean breeze outside, and beyond the swimming pool and the cycads, the late afternoon of a forgotten summer fades over a Southern Gothic seaside town.
M: Galveston has changed a lot since I lived there. Developers ruined it, then a hurricane wrecked what the developers hadn’t.
Muse: (Glancing around the apartment’s living room, with its bookcases and old paintings and low lighting. She takes a cube of cheese from the hors d’oeuvres tray.) I don’t see any developers.
Muse: I think Alex and Frank have a ways to go.M: Are they making progress?
Muse: (Raising her eyebrows.) Oh, yes. There’s much more to Frank now. His weaknesses are really showing!
M: Alex doesn’t seem to want to see them.
Muse: (Setting her martini down.) In some ways, he’ll be much more difficult for her to deal with when he’s less predictable. (She leans back in the Wegner chair and crosses her legs.)
M: In some ways, he’ll be much easier for her to deal with.
Muse: Do you like my legs?
M: (Nods ruminatively.) You have beautiful legs.
Muse: (Suspicious, arching an eyebrow.) I’m five-foot-two.
M: (Assuming an introspective mood.) Everything about you is beautiful to me.
Muse: (Running her fingers through her hair.) You know how to talk to a muse.
M: (Smiling.) You’re making it easy.
Terry: Why don't you have a muse like that.Me: Because I'm a sexually repressed Catholic boy.
Terry: I take it you're being facetious.
Me: Yep.
Terry: So, why -
Me: I don't know. I sometimes hear my thoughts in how I imagine Chesterton's voice, or they'll take on Mark Harmon's or Nathan Fillion's voice.
Terry: You hear Castle's voice?
Me: Not Castle, Captain Reynolds.
Terry: No women?
Me: Well ... nope.
Terry: I'm going with the sexual repression, then.
Me: I don't think that's how it works.
M: What do make of Edward’s post?Muse: I think it’s past your bedtime, baby.
M: No more cocktail-lounge music?
Muse: (Shaking her head.) You’ve got to get up early tomorrow morning.
M: (A puzzled look on his face.) Why are you looking out for me?
Muse: What do you mean?
M: I could blame a lot of bad situations on you.
Muse: (Leans forward.) I got you a lot of grades you didn’t deserve.
M: (With a sigh.) I like it here.
Muse: Don’t give me that lost look. (She looks away.) You know what it does to me.
M: What does it do to you?
Muse: (Getting up from her chair and approaching him.) We can go through this as many times as you like.
M: (Setting down his drink.) With you, every time is like the first.
Alex (Al) wrote: "Frank: Poor kid. Me: Ugh, Frank. You need to stop talking.
Frank: I can't help it. My mood adapts to make you happy.
Me: It's not working.
Frank: When you're upset, I'm happy and talkative to chee..."
Sara: I'm confused. Is Frank trying to cheat on Al with M's muse?
Nikara: He CAN'T cheat on her if there's no RELATIONSHIP.
Sara: Well, he loves Al, but he's flirting with M's muse. That's just not right.
Nikara: (stunned) SARA!!! READ THIS STUFF!!!!! (waves laptop with Al's posts on it in Sara's face) There are a LOT of things "not right" with their situation!!!!!!!!
Kyra: (walking in) So, what're you guys talking about?
Sara+Nikara: (simultaneously) Nothing!
Alex (Al) wrote: "Frank: Why don't you talk to me like that, Al?Me: (She sighs deeply.) Frank, I'm getting very annoyed with you right now.
Frank: I know what your problem is. You didn't have enough chocolate this week.
Me: That's not my prob..."
Kyra: FINALLY!!!
Sara+Nikara: (looking over at her askance)
Kyra: (clears throat) Erm... I mean, look at that.
Sara: LOL! Sometimes I wish she WEREN'T real, so I could have free run of the place.Kyra: (appalled) You don't mean that!
Sara: Sure I do.
Kyra: Sara, you wouldn't EXSIST if I didn't write you.
Sara: (thinking it over) ...Maybe not, but I still wish I could have free run of the place.
Kyra: Besides, how would you get along without me?
Sara: (raising an eyebrow) Is that a trick question?
Very funny posts, Al, M. Kyra, Edward. Still laughing.
Me: I wonder if anyone is up besides me, now?[Quiet] Edward is sometimes around. And Al, if she's in one of her insomnia attacks. [Quiet]
Professor:[Yawning] You woke me up, which I think is unfair. I'll be administrating an exam, tomorrow. That is very hard work, I can assure you. [Pauses] Why aren't you in bed?
Me: Reading WSS is way more appealing to me than resting to waste my energy at work. And don't try to tell me that administrating an exam is hard work! Wow, you really are trying to prove my observation that you characters are just whiners.
Professor: [Ignoring quip.] You're just being silly. Work is important, and not just because of the money, but because it is building the infrastructure that makes the city hum.
Me: Yeah, right. You forget that I work there and haven't had a cost of living raise in twenty years. Now you, on the other hand: tenure at a good, albeit not ivy league, school.
Professor: [Ignoring him again] I like that Kyra. Straight to the point.
Me: I do too. [Quiet.]
Professor: Well, aren't you going to address it?
Me: [Slight wince] What do you mean?
Professor: You know perfectly well what I mean. Frank's question. It was a good one. 'Good' here meaning that you hadn't thought of it. Funny how that works, sometimes, out of the mouth of pervs come true gems and not just germs. It is sad to confess it, but I hadn't thought of it either.
Me: Well, of course you haven't! Your thing fell off long ago from lack of use. [Forces a laugh, not too successfully.]
Professor: Ha-ha-ha. That wasn't that funny the first time you said. It is far far less funny now.
Me: Al thought it was funny. Errr... At least I think she did.
Professor: Speaking of Al, aren't you going to answer Frank's question? I am quite sure that you don't want that lecher lurking around here — I know I don't! — but it is a good question.
Me: I certainly have female characters. And I quite often like them, although not always.
Professor: Then why haven't I ever seen them?
Me: Really? You want to play the straight man to lame joke yet again?
Professor: Ha-ha-ha. I'm serious. Although, keep cadaver-girl away, please.
Me: But you are free to invite gir— women over yourself, you know.
Professor: I suppose. But I don't see the point of asking a woman over if I'd rather just read something too obscure to share with her.
Me: Well, what about your students? I've heard that, in a rather pathetic sounding sports parody, professors get their share of groupies, too.
Professor: Yes, I've heard that too. [Quiet.]
Me: Well!
Professor: Well what?
Me: Are you serious?! I am going to bed, you educated moron! [Leaves]
Professor: [Pulls out his pipe. Before initiating the tobacco ritual, he wanders over to recover the remote control and turns on the TV. He doesn't look at the screen after confirming that the volume was low enough to be heard but without being disruptive. He very leisurely cleans and stuffs the bowl, assures himself of a proper draw, and with a great sigh, fires it up.] That Guy guy. Just when you think he might have his sh*t together, he shows himself to be no master, but simply eking out adequacy. [Draws in the smoke, sits in the big leather overstuffed library chair. He turns to the bookmarked tome beside him and begins reading it with the Simpsons playing softly in front of him.]
Terry: Edward's here.Me: No, I'm not.
Terry: You choose now to be shy?
Me: I choose now to be tired. I have to go a temp agency tomorrow, write a short story, and start chapter ... what are we on now?
Terry: Thirteen.
Me: Oh, the foreshadowing chapter.
Terry: You have a whole chapter set aside for foreshadowing.
Me: Not exactly; there's just going to be a inordinate amount since the entire chapter is about gather clues.
Terry: So, what will chapter fourteen be?
Me: It's where ... eh, on second thought, you don't want to know.
[A moment of silence.]
Terry: I get beat up again, don't I?
M: (Awakens to the sensation of his muse in his arms.) How did Monday get here?Muse: (Through her hair, her breath warm on his neck.) The way it usually does.
M: Did I dream that I called a wrecking yard about a Sunfish sailboat?
Muse: No.
(M feels her arms close around him. He runs his fingers through her mussed hair.)
Muse: Your sister is involved. And don’t forget that the optician screwed up your prescription last week.
M: (With a heavy sigh.) This isn’t going to be an uncomplicated Monday, is it?
Muse: (Shifting positions, her face suddenly close.) Not if I can help it.
Pricilla: *tisk* *tisk* I cannot believe you're doing this again. Wasting time.Me: Oh be quiet. I don't want to do school yet.
Derik: You probably should. Last I heard you have a 30 minute word war with someone at two.
Me: Where'd you come from? And how'd you hear about that?
Pricilla: *rolling her eyes* New travels fast. *glares at Derik* What are you doing here?
Derik: Relax, dear.
Me: Whoa, okay guys. No fighting now. But Derik, you're still just another character in my head. You haven't even entered the story yet.
Derik: Yes I have. Sidra just doesn't know it. *grumbles* Shows you for depending on her narration. I carried her, remember?
Me: Hey, Sidra was moments away from passing out. And why are you insulting her? You're supposed to love her.
Pricilla: Not if I can help it. You know good--
Me: Whoa, calm down.
Derik: *smiles* You look beautiful today, Pricilla. Although, I think I prefer your other name, Sidra.
Pricilla: *trying not to be flattered* Well then it sucks being you.
Me: *sighs* You can't really be angry. If you hadn't run away from Madam Peregrine--
Pricilla: Shut up!
Kyra: Hey, is this from a novel you've written? If so, can I read it? Sounds really intriguing!!!Sara: Why is everyone posting their comments in the form of a character conversation??? I thought we were saving that for the popcorn thread.
Nikara: Hey, I'm not complaining!!! Gives me more face time.
Me: Yes, Kyra they are.Derik: Would you just write so I can kiss the girl?
Me: Be quiet. It's a WIP but I've posted some of it on my profile labled Ribbon of Time.
Pricilla: You are shameless.
Me: What? I'm just answering her question!
Derik: I have to agree with Pricilla here. You're shameless.
Me: And you're a jerk. Just ask Pricilla.
Derik: *groans* Please don't get her going again. I can't take it anymore. It's getting annoying.
Pricilla: Well I could always resort to punching you.
Derik: You know, this Frank guy has no idea how to get a lady.
Pricilla: *snorts* And you do?
Derik: You're still sweet on my aren't you?
Me: He's got a point, Pricilla. Although, his ability to keep a girl is severly lacking.
Muse: (Standing beside the barbecue pit.) That beat-up sailboat you looked at earlier has stayed in your mind all afternoon.(M nods. Realizing that she has appeared for him, he smiles at her. There are flecks of afternoon light on her hair.)
Muse: (With an inquisitive glance.) You wouldn’t want to go back to those days?
M: Oh, I suppose, in some ways.
Muse: The boat at the wrecking yard reminds you of the China Girl.
M: (Emptying charcoal into the firebox.) Same brass hardware. Same beautiful rudder and daggerboard. Made in those same years.
Muse: You used to love summer.
M: (Smiles.) Oh, yes. Summer was paradise to me. Cocktails and sailboat races and suntanned girls and stories to write.
(Seeing M smile, Alison smiles, her pale eyes seeming to glow in the soft shade.) These are beautiful days.
M: (Kneeling to light the charcoal.) That’s why it would be so hard to go back.
Muse: What if you could find a way to go back yet bring some of the things you love about the present with you?
M: (Laughs.) I’d have the world you’ve made for me but that’s only in my mind.
(Alison approaches and watches as M picks up the wire brush and cleans the grill. Sparks rise through the grate as the flaming charcoal puts off its familiar, enticing smell.)
M: I didn’t know you back then, except through girls who seemed to cast a spell over me.
Muse: (With a sigh.) That’s the only way a muse can get things done sometimes.
(M groans.)
Muse: You had a long childhood.
M: (Unwraps the steaks.) What makes you think it’s over?
Sara: That is true. As long as you can manage to stay immature, your childhood can theoretically last forever.Nikara: Well, don't get all technical about it. And M is actually, possibly, the only mature person on this ship, so I find his speech somewhat...
Sara: Redundant? Misleading?
Nikara: Both, I guess.
Kyra: M's muse is named Alison? See, you learn something new every day. Who needs school?
Nikara: Thought you liked school.
Kyra: Liked school. We'll see about next year.
Sara: I wish you'd go to school more often. You don't pay us so much mind that you can keep us out of trouble.
Kyra: You just wait! I'm keeping close checks on you all this summer. No more mischief till autumn!
Nikara: ...Oh.
Sara: (face falling) Oh.
(Steaks sizzle on the outdoor grill.)Muse: (Leaning against the brick.) Kyra has you pegged.
M: (Shrugs. Lowers the lid.) It’s never too late to have a happy childhood.
Muse: (Laughs.)
M: If I’m the most mature person on the ship, there’s an unpredicable world of fun in store.
Muse: Uhmm. Those steaks smell good. (She looks at him with her pale, inquisitive eyes.) You haven’t made cocktails.
M: (Struck with the realization of it.) When you get old, you forget to do things.
Muse: Darling, would you like for me to make the drinks?
M: (Looking up gratefully.) Would you mind? (He opens the big, half-moon-shaped aluminum lid. Mouth-watering smoke comes out.)
Muse: While I’m in there, I’ll turn on some music. (Smelling the smoke, she closes her eyes. Then she comes around the barbecue, pulls him to her, and locks him in a kiss that makes his desire spike like the needle on grill’s thermometer.)
M: Music will be nice.
Muse: Maybe something from Summer of ’42.
M: (Startled.) Why that? That’s the music--
Muse: (Turning to go down the walk, she looks back and smiles.) I know. That’s the music you put on when you’re in the mood for me to take my pants off.
M: (Taken aback.) What? Whoa. Now, wait a minute. I didn’t mean--
Muse: (Innocently.) I was just thinking how delicious those steaks smell. Wouldn’t it be a shame if we hadn’t worked up an appetite for them?
(Mesmerized, M watches her as she follows the brick walk to the sliding doors.)
Sara would like to say something.Sara: M, YOU'RE MARRIED!!!!!!!!!!... Right???
Kyra: (slamming palm over Sara's mouth) So sorry!!! I'll get her back inside...
I revised it to make it more suitable for general audiences.
Well, I think THAT rule is in smithereens by now. (shaking head) Why is everyone having deep, emotional, non-PG13 moments with their book characters???
Sara: Honestly, I feel rather left out.Kyra: I don't!!!
Nikara: Neither do I.
Sara: Yeah, you're right. The moment's gone.
Kyra: (smirking) Unless you WANT me to write something with you and Aaron...?
Sara: (turning red) YOU LITTLE... GAAHH!!!!!!!
Derik: Wow. Stephanie, I had no idea-Me: No idea what? *glares* Look away, Derik.
Pricilla: *slaps Derik*
Derik: What was that for?
Pricilla: *shrugs* Just because I could.
I didn’t think anyone had read it. No one had posted anything in a while.
Oh yes. All of us. *walks away laughing hysterically*
AHAHAHAHHAHAHH, you guys are wonderful!!!
I don’t know what got into me. I’ll try to do a better job of behaving myself.Welcome back, Cheyenne!
Poor Frank! He didn’t expect to have the tables turned on him.I’m enjoying myself too much to go to sleep easily, but I’d better head below to my hammock. Goodnight, pirates! Have strange dreams.
Me: Just when I think I'm over the laughter from M's post too...Albert: You need things to laugh about.
Me: What's that supposed to mean?
Albert: Your smile is a bigger stranger to me than most of the people in the WSS.
Me: *glares* What's that supposed to mean?
Albert: Oh you know what that's supposed to mean.
Me: It's not my fault you had to go and name yourself Albert.
Albert: I thought you would like that.
Me: *sighs* I do in a way. But at the same time it isn't good for me.
Albert: I TOLD you that you should've brought that poem with you in April. You would feel better now.
Me: I couldn't do it.
Albert: I know.
Me: Just don't ask me to call you Dennis.
Albert: I would never do that.
Strange dreams to all and to all strange dreams a good night!
Weekly Short Stories Contest and Company!
Books mentioned in this topic
The Shadow of the Wind (other topics)Into the Wild (other topics)
City of Glass (other topics)
Middlesex (other topics)
The Lover (other topics)
More...
Except the link I posted above, which is a (so I think) hilarious not-sex scene.
Thanks, Guy.