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condiment: a phrase that sounds like a compliment but is actually a veiled insult.

Compromise n. The art of slicing a cake in such a way that everyone believes they received the biggest piece.

Hoe: an expression of surprise, most often accompanied by a smack in the face from having stepped on a garden instrument
Strimmer: expression of satisfaction after mowing the lawn
pruning: to cause someone to become like a prune
weeding: the noise made by a handy little alarm that pings when someone (or something) urinates in your garden

Mel needs one of those in her orchard.

trowel: an owl on probation
plant pot: an activity that is likely to result in a visit by the constabulary

Very good!

Toast Rack: Patented but pointless device for keeping an accurate record of the number of toes an individual has. Only of real value to Pobbles.
Janet needs one. ;)



cot: the odd feeling of being cold and hot at the same time
toddler: someone who drinks far too many hot toddies

buzzard: what it's necessary to do to attract attention sometimes
buzzcock: a type of vibrator
And I dare say they only get yours (goat, that is)