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Need to rant?
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'One who is merciful to those who are heartless will end up being heartless to those who are merciful'
Although it maybe a little OTT to call Mr Jerk heartless he was certainly self-involved and by trying to make excuses for such rude behaviour you end up blaming the victim claiming that if she had only bothered to ask for help it would have been forthcoming.
I have a higher opinion of my fellow human beings and believe that most of them wouldn't force you to beg before they offered assistance.
As I said earlier, I'm sorry that this happened. Sometimes, though, we all need to remember that not all disabilities are obvious. I can't imagine what might prevent someone from helping another with a door and a wheelchair, other than true loutishness, but since the person isn't here to defend himself, we might be better people ourselves if we were to consider he may have had a reason unbeknownst to us.
Esther wrote: "...and by trying to make excuses for such rude behaviour you end up blaming the victim claiming that if she had only bothered to ask for help it would have been forthcoming.I have a higher opinion of my fellow human beings and believe that most of them wouldn't force you to beg before they offered assistance.
Well said, Esther.
Elizabeth (Alaska) wrote: "Leila, those are the times I'm reminded of my friend who had an expression: "The more I see of people, the more I like dogs." Fortunately, I have been lucky to meet more people who would have held ..."I agree with that sentence, but say more...the more i meet people, the more I like animals.
and people keep proving me right soooo much:-0
At the risk of sounding apologetic for rude jerks and totally supporting Leila's right and need to rant, I still believe that it is a waste of time and energy to expect people to behave in certain ways. Maybe they will and maybe they won't. That's not the point. Assuming that someone is rude when they might just be ignorant or untutored does not help them learn what might be a different and more socially acceptable behavior.There are also cultural differences to take into account. If you stand meekly in a queue in China, chances are you will never get to the head of the line. Are these people cutting in ahead of you or skipping the queue being rude? No! They are being Chinese where waiting, in the past, could have meant starving.
I recently called someone on an airplane an "a _ _ hole" to his face and he was totally surprised that I felt that way. He was just doing what he was doing and not aware that he was impinging on me. He actually tried to explain why he was in such a rush. I suspect the next time he'll be a little more aware...maybe. (Grin)
I assume there will be more follow-up and unfortunately I won't be here to keep my side of the discussion going. I'll be off-line for the next four days traveling. It's been fun.
First of all this is a rant thread not 'rehabilitation for Mr Jerks of the world'. We don't have to see the other POV if we don't want to :0)I understand Ed's point about social norms as I started life in England and now live in Israel - talk about whiplash!
First time my hubby visited England with me he collapsed to laughter when I gently bumped someone in the street and we both turned round to apologise!
Israel can seem very rough and ready after UK but although Israelis may not understand the concept of queuing etc they have their own set of social norms and get just as upset if you don't observe them. I'm sure the same applies in Hong Kong and China.
My biggest beef with Ed's argument is the attitude 'don't blame him for being a jerk when you didn't call him on it'. Morality is no longer the inner voice of conscience but someone with a big stick smacking you each time you cross a line - If you don't get smacked with a big stick it's OK or rather 'if you don't get caught out, it is OK'.
I hadn't intended to add anymore to this thread but I read, and shared, this article on FB and it immediately brought to mind our conversation here.
Oh Beth- I'm thinking we had the same "friend". LOL I deleted someone like that a few weeks ago. I have another "friend" who I feel bad about deleting so I haven't but God in heaven, her comments to me make no sense. Ever. Neither do her messages. I'll get a comment on a book about polygamy asking me if I like the book such and such which I haven't read and don't even have listed. I don't understand it but I'm too nice of a person to delete them as of yet!! I have a message on my page that tells people- no friend collectors, leave me a message if you send a friend request or you'll be ignored, if you have 2 books and 30,000 friends you'll be ignored, if you're an author and you think I may like your books, tell me. ONE TIME. Not once an hour. Once. If I want it- I'll get it.
(G)Emma wrote: "I tend to clean up my friends a lot, because one day I'll be all:"Well, we have some books in common." And add them, then the next day I'll be annoyed because they keep on inviting me to groups..."
That's hilarious because the same thing happens to me and I go through my friends list about one every month or two. I get invites to a poll about which guy is hotter and what kind of music makes me sad. wth? I just want to yell at them to turn the computer off and pick up a book.
♡ Eva ♡ wrote: "I get invites to a poll about which guy is hotter and what kind of music makes me sad. wth? I just want to yell at them to turn the computer off and pick up a book. ..."You get all that cr@p from friends on Goodreads? Good grief!
That and more! But I use the term 'friends' loosely here! LOL And they don't stay on the list long when all that stuff happens!
Esther wrote: "First of all this is a rant thread not 'rehabilitation for Mr Jerks of the world'. We don't have to see the other POV if we don't want to :0)"No, we don't have to see the other POV if we don't want to. But that would be start of my rant. Don't bother considering that the other guy (not necessarily here) might have something going on. Another comment from a friend is worth noting: When someone cuts you off on the freeway, or is rude in some way, she always thought, "wow, he must be having a worse day than I am."
Elizabeth (Alaska) wrote: "Esther wrote: "First of all this is a rant thread not 'rehabilitation for Mr Jerks of the world'. We don't have to see the other POV if we don't want to :0)"No, we don't have to see the other P..."
Elizabeth I think you must have missed the smiley face :0)
Anyway my point is that this is a rant thread - a safe place among friends where you can let off steam without being judged for not presenting a balanced argument.
Sorry, Esther. I didn't mean to sound judgmental, isn't what I meant, and certainly not about the guy who is surely near the top of the podium for Jerks. In fact, what I wanted to do was sound the alarm that perhaps being judgmental is not the healthiest frame of mind. Ranting about something that happens in our own lives and then moving on is not a bad thing. Jumping on someone else's bandwagon and getting really worked up probably isn't the healthiest thing we can do for ourselves. What can be the most useful thing about this thread, it seems to me, is learning a different way to handle stress. For me ranting, or getting worked up, just makes things worse. Does Ed's suggestion that we teach another good manners make sense? It doesn't to me, but there are plenty of lurkers for whom it might. I know that my friend's observation that the other guy might be having a really terrible day has helped me move past what might otherwise be a really unhealthy afternoon.
I like friends who want to TALK books. If we have a lot of books in common then we probably have something to discuss. I don't for the ones just promoting their own books, all we have in common is their book (if I've read it) and they don't want any other contact. That's not fun to me.
Paula wrote: "I like friends who want to TALK books. If we have a lot of books in common then we probably have something to discuss. I don't for the ones just promoting their own books, all we have in common is ..."I totally agree. I actually have a little message directly to those authors on my page. I looked a few weeks after joining at my comments and they were filled with 'thanks for adding me- buy my book!' and 'have a great day- check out my book!'. HUH? My supermarket doesn't come to be begging me to buy their groceries. My drugstore waits for me to come to them to shop, as does the mall and everything else, with the exception of some of the more "direct" religons, so WHY are you doing it?!
You'd think they'd be embarressed. I would be. I'd tell a person once, if I actually talked to them about other things, maybe twice but to keep begging someone to buy your book is insane.
I've recently joined and only ran across a few people strictly promoting their books. But, yes, annoying when that's all they want to talk about.
My son's school is having a fund-raising thing for the third, fourth, fifth grade field trip. Which ordinarily I wouldn't mind but my son's first grade class is the ONLY class Not going on a field trip this year. Even the kindergartener's got one! And my DVD player is a $200 piece of crap.
ARGHHHH So my piece of s--t roommate apparently complains to my boyfriend about me. He complains that I'm a hypocrite b/c I won't wash dishes with food still on them, but seriously it's not that hard to either eat all your damn food or scrape it into the garbage. Also he complains that my internet activity slows down his, yet I don't do anything but GR, FB and twitter so it clearly can't be hurting his WoW connection. But what makes me the most mad is that he has the audacity to complain to my boyfriend, uh hello stupid it's going to get back to me and my boyfriend is clearly going to take my side. Boohiss on bad living situations!
Forgive me, April for being a nerd. But computers is my childish hobby. I'm a big time gamer; and I build my own computers from scratch. So bear with me.You said:
I don't do anything but GR, FB and twitter so it clearly can't be hurting his WoW connection.
World of Warcraft is a BIG-TIME computer RAM user as well as a BIG-TIME internet PING rate consumer. The data exchanged by a local computer and the net during a massively multiplayer game like World of Warcraft is enormous.
Your computer time on Goodreads Facebook and twitter cannot even come close to the net data use of an online game like WOW.
The videos (including the nauseating video adverts on Goodreads) do consume the most net data of these online community websites. But rarely do these sites even come close to the sites like WOW.
So tell your gamer roomate to get his own internet connection.
Mosca wrote: "Forgive me, April for being a nerd. But computers is my childish hobby. I'm a big time gamer; and I build my own computers from scratch. So bear with me.You said:
I don't do anything but GR,..."
Mosca, we are on a book website, lol, I think this is almost as nerdy as it gets. Thanks for the information though, it helps to know I am not in the wrong.
I don't usually rant too much but I'm so annoyed. The weather Friday was a gorgeous 70 degrees. Saturday, however, when we took our son to the carnival was 40 degrees and rainy. I guess that shows that people in this area are so desperate for entertainment that we will spend an hour and a half freezing our butts off for something to do.
This isn't a rant, really, but my library is currently closed (yesterday, today, and tomorrow), which they install a new computer system...I got all the books from the library that I needed to before it closed, and I'm excited to have a new and (hopefully) improved system, but for now their online search feature is down (understandably), and I can't look to see if the books I want to read are at the library... And it's sort of making me nervous! I didn't realize how addicted I was to the library's website before!!
Let's just talk about my crappy week thus far:car breaks
I miss work on Tuesday because of this
(I get a great tan instead )
the car costs me $500
I somehow get poison ivy all over my chest
AND when I get to work the whole floor set is changed and I can't find anything.
It has to get better! At least Lost was good tonight! :)
Sending good thoughts your way Jamie!!
Sara TX wrote: "This isn't a rant, really, but my library is currently closed (yesterday, today, and tomorrow), which they install a new computer system...I got all the books from the library that I needed to ..."
mine is closed because of labor day, but why the saturday, sunday and monday.....?
I have fibro and all these constant weather changes are really getting to me. Humidity and rain are the worst. I'm just ranting because I can't even remember what it feels like to do something without feeling like I'm so tired and run down I could sleep for a year. I really think the human body was a poorly designed machine.
Here's a rant:The StarTrek.com messageboard has several moderators who allow hate speech on their boards. I see foul language directed at minorities, including very vulgar terms.
I tried to get people involved to help me report them to the CBS Lawyers in New York, but every single person who claimed they were upset and or outraged refused to make 1 lousy phone call.
The board is rampant with these comments, and the moderators actually protect the jerks saying those very vulgar terms.
It infuriates me to no end.
HOW AWFUL!! I love Star Trek, but I hate racial slurs more! I hope you have more luck!!
Kevin wrote: "Here's a rant:The StarTrek.com messageboard has several moderators who allow hate speech on their boards. I see foul language directed at minorities, including very vulgar terms.
I tried to..."
That's awful! Even worse that people don't speak up about it.
If the people getting offended won't say anything about it then they shouldn't be griping about it.
ty ^_^I am happy that somebody in this world understands the gripe I have with startrek.com it does make me feel better. ^_^
Kevin wrote: "Here's a rant:The StarTrek.com messageboard has several moderators who allow hate speech on their boards. I see foul language directed at minorities, including very vulgar terms.
I tried to..."
Gene Roddenberry must be spinning in his grave.
*gasp* Gene Roddenberry is dead!
; ) His spirit is eternal!
(didn't they send him to outer space?)
; ) His spirit is eternal!
(didn't they send him to outer space?)
His nickname was "Great Bird of the Galaxy" so it's fitting.
James Doohan was also supposed to be sent into space, but the rocket carrying his (and many other's) ashes blew up. I guess they needed Scotty at the helm.I had the pleasure of meeting Mr. Doohan many years back at an ABA convention. He was already leaving his panel when he heard me say "That's Scotty", he turned and said "Well, hello love", gave me a big hug and proceeded to talk with me for about ten minutes, a very nice man.
Nice, Roseann. Thanks for that. He looked like a nice man, and was always my favorite character (Captain, the dilithium crystals!!)
Have any of you seen Galaxy Quest? Heehee...
I loved Galaxy Quest. I think the whole Rock Monster bit was the result of a masqerade at Comic Con here in San Diego where one of the acts had someone dressed as a rock and the entire audience chanted "rock, rock, rock" to bring him back every time there was a costume they didn't like.
Hayes wrote: "Nice, Roseann. Thanks for that. He looked like a nice man, and was always my favorite character (Captain, the dilithium crystals!!)"I loved Scotty, he was so cute and huggable looking!
I really like Galaxy Quest. Justin Long is a cutie!
I have a rant, a really big one.I bought a Wii recently. One of the deciding factors in buying it (besides the kids games for my son) was that Fatal Frame 4: Mask of the Lunar Eclipse was coming out on it. Then, a few days ago, I checked out the fan website Beyond the Camera's Lens and what do I find out? They have cancelled the release of FF4 in North America and Europe. This might be old news to some but I just found out and I'm so hot I'm surprised the planet hasn't melted. It is so unfair and such a ripoff to the FF series fans. I know of at least 4 other people who bought it expecting to be able to play it. I'm so disappointed in Nintendo. They have the publishing rights so Tecmo can't even shop it around to be published by anyone else. I'm so mad I could spit!
The Next Best Book Club
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I can't imagine that Mr. Jerk of the Universe had any problem seeing Leila struggling with a door and a wheelchair. I'm sorry... How can that POSSIBLY be mistaken for anything but what it is?
I'm sure Leila's not some prissy maiden who expects every door to be held open for her, who would rather stand there waiting for an open door than to open it herself. She was struggling, and nobody helped her. This isn't a situation where the saying "God (or whoever) helps those who help themselves" applies. She wasn't waiting for a free handout, she was struggling with a wheelchair and a door. I would think in that situation, help would be OFFERED, without being begged for.
There is no excuse in my mind for such rude and callous behavior. None.