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Meet the Authors > R J Askew ~ One Swift Summer

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message 551: by Patti (baconater) (new)

Patti (baconater) (goldengreene) | 56525 comments So set in present day then, eh Marc?

Are there penguins in it too? ;)


message 552: by R.J. (new)

R.J. Askew (rjaskew) | 855 comments Yeah, speaking as a dollfin myself, I can frakkin well assure you fings are already getting pretty tiresome.

All those boat loads of intensely spiritual yet insanely needly women buzzing around Tingle Bay at 50 euros a shot with a view to touching up n stoking yours truly's irresistable god head is wearing tin.

I mean, imagine if needy urban badgers or scrawny bipolar city foxes started slidnking into Starbucks to brush up agains the legs of humans enjoying a tall metime mocker to get that touchy-feely inter-species vibe. Wowza!

No, things have gone too far. In fact, I know for a stonewall fact that BADGER RIOT is planning a high profile offing in the next few days, always assuming the fuck-wit Mayan's got their dates wrong. I mean, wld you trust a so-called-civilisation that played an early version of basketball with human heads? LOL, thought so.

So, if the human race sees me and mine as some kind of new way salvation, forget it. In fact, I for one am not going to submit my godhead any further to being touched up by needy screwballs. Not without my bankers bonus. LOL! Henceforth, you will not see me high-fiving out of the water in graceful arcs without liberal lashings of celebrity chef sushi. And don't tell me said sushi is not available in bombed-out Ireland as because my sauces tells me otherwise, know-what-a-mean.

And don't you go taking the mackrel by masking up in faux solidatity with me an da fins. Cos - I TWEET YOU NOT ~##~ YOU {{{WILL}}} BE TROLLED to deaf if you does.

DOLPHIN RIOT - FRACK ON!


message 553: by Marc (new)

Marc Nash (sulci) | 4313 comments Patti (Plucky Persimmon) wrote: "So set in present day then, eh Marc?

Are there penguins in it too? ;)"


no, no penguins.


message 554: by Marc (new)

Marc Nash (sulci) | 4313 comments I'm more about the Pussy Riot rather than any badger insurrection


Gingerlily - The Full Wild | 34228 comments Somwonw has been drinking.... and I don't mean seawater!


message 556: by Patti (baconater) (new)

Patti (baconater) (goldengreene) | 56525 comments Somwonw?

Who would that be then?


Gingerlily - The Full Wild | 34228 comments Not me...

*innocent look*


message 558: by R.J. (new)

R.J. Askew (rjaskew) | 855 comments I do have a rather fine malt to hand .. wld anyone care for a wee dram?


Gingerlily - The Full Wild | 34228 comments Mmmnmmmmm... yes please.


message 560: by R.J. (new)

R.J. Askew (rjaskew) | 855 comments An esp peaty Talisker .. I am gazing into the amber nectar, reflecting, relaxing, refracting .. and remepber relax responsibly now.


Gingerlily - The Full Wild | 34228 comments Mmmm, I'll alternate it with my best rum and see which works bwttwe.


message 562: by R.J. (new)

R.J. Askew (rjaskew) | 855 comments Rum! I haven't tasted a drop of rum in a long while!


Gingerlily - The Full Wild | 34228 comments Here, have some of mine. Its this one and its wonderfiul..

http://www.amazon.co.uk/KRAKEN-Black-...


message 564: by R.J. (new)

R.J. Askew (rjaskew) | 855 comments How can I resist .. what might the spice be? and I shall have dreams of the Kraaaaaaken rising up out of the deeps. Marvellous! n Cheers!


message 565: by Marc (new)

Marc Nash (sulci) | 4313 comments Hope it's not this kraken: Kraken by China Miéville

This book so provoked my ire that I sat down to write a book in response to it the very next day after I finished reading it. No planning. No notes. But within 5 weeks I had a whole book, simply driven by my irritation with the man and his book. So i am quite grateful to it all the same for detesting it as a piece of work.


Gingerlily - The Full Wild | 34228 comments No - its The Kraken Wakes

This is a part of my growing up.


Gingerlily - The Full Wild | 34228 comments R.J. wrote: "How can I resist .. what might the spice be? and I shall have dreams of the Kraaaaaaken rising up out of the deeps. Marvellous! n Cheers!"

'spices including cinnamon, ginger and clove.'


message 568: by R.J. (last edited Dec 21, 2012 02:25AM) (new)

R.J. Askew (rjaskew) | 855 comments Marc wrote: "Hope it's not this kraken: Kraken by China Miéville

This book so provoked my ire that I sat down to write a book in response to it the very next day after I finished reading it. No planning. No ..."


I've heard of counter-punchers in boxing and counter attacks in chess, war and .. But your response must be a perfect example of counter writing, or counter inspiration. It wld be great to read Kraken and then your story to study the process. I know there have always been polemics and responses against this or that piece of art of course, but I've never studied a clear case. I wld be fascinated by both motivation and outcome. Of course if a dud piece of work produces a stronger piece of work then the dud has its use does it not? A bit like the highly unfortunate role of the poor old teaser stallion in a stud farm.

Yet -- creatives being creatives -- there is always the danger of the spurned lesser talent turning savage troll. Did Salieri poison Mozart? Mozart's talent certainly poisoned Salieri's. And of course Shakespeare was trolled by Robert Greene:

"... for there is an upstart Crow, beautified with our feathers, that with his Tygers hart wrapt in a Players hyde, supposes he is as well able to bombast out a blanke verse as the best of you: and beeing an absolute Johannes fac totum, is in his owne conceit the onely Shake-scene in a countrey ..."

Ach, the Greene-eyed monster. Poore olde Roberto. There must be loads of jibes in the tygers plays about him.


message 569: by Marc (new)

Marc Nash (sulci) | 4313 comments The thing was some how it managed to crystallise all these random thoughts stored in my head that previously had no connections to one another and came out in a coherent whole. My version of genre writing, which of course was anti-genre or the end of that particular genre (though I wouldn't be so arrogant as to make that claim in reality, merely that I sought an end point by taking the genre to its logical conclusion).

Still can't explain how that process happened, because it was so instant a response.


message 570: by R.J. (new)

R.J. Askew (rjaskew) | 855 comments Marc wrote: "The thing was some how it managed to crystallise all these random thoughts stored in my head that previously had no connections to one another and came out in a coherent whole. My version of genre ..."

It sounds like a subconscious, instinctive, creative response. Imagine how the author of the original work wld have felt to know his story had be inspiring in such a way, for all the wrong reasons! Marvellous this creative malarky is.


message 571: by R.J. (new)

R.J. Askew (rjaskew) | 855 comments So, has today been a good day or a great day? Here's the test: 1) profound thoughts 2) creative impulses 3) artful execution.

Failure on any of the three counts means the day cannot have been good or great, at least on this most stupid of tests.


message 572: by Marc (new)

Marc Nash (sulci) | 4313 comments I went to Sainsburys today. i think that may rate as 2 and 3 but not 1


Gingerlily - The Full Wild | 34228 comments Did 2 and 3 (I hope) while signing Christmas cards for 12 prisoners. Had a couple of 1s while mulling over various things sparked off by watching The Hobbit.


message 574: by R.J. (new)

R.J. Askew (rjaskew) | 855 comments I am just about to go to Sainsburys (6.30 p.m.) .. hopefully most people with be watching SCD. And it will be too early for the late night shoppers.

Hobbit tmr with my infantry.


message 575: by Marc (new)

Marc Nash (sulci) | 4313 comments Gaaa, I'm more a Seven Psychopaths kinda guy


Gingerlily - The Full Wild | 34228 comments Hope you enjoy the hobbit as much as I did!


message 577: by R.J. (last edited Dec 22, 2012 01:39PM) (new)

R.J. Askew (rjaskew) | 855 comments I can't loose .. much as I like the idea of a wing kwest .. there is also a very very good chance that I will slide into blissful oblivion after about 30 mins in the cinema .. this will not be because of the film but just a reflection of how shagged out I am .. that said, when I left the cinema after SKYFALL I drove about 5 miles sans seat belt I was so wired .. and after the remake of KING KONG I actually drove through a red light because I was sooo totally overstimmed.


message 578: by Marc (new)

Marc Nash (sulci) | 4313 comments really? Films rarely have that effect on me. Maybe because I crash back down to earth v.quickly when faced with the subterranean prospect of taking the Tube to get home


message 579: by R.J. (new)

R.J. Askew (rjaskew) | 855 comments .. I find going to the cinema is to subject oneself to an almost physical assault onself the senses now .. the absurdly riched up voices and speeded up action shots leave me inwardly begging for mercy .. which of course you will never get from modern filmsters .. they clearly think we need pummelling lest our desensitised senses stray .. I often think it wld be a mark of especial genius to write something which was absolutely unfilmable .. what a joyous work that wld be. N O special effects. God save me from SP-SP-SPecial -e-e-e-e-ffects .. (LOUD EXPLOSION)


message 580: by Gingerlily - The Full Wild (last edited Dec 22, 2012 02:14PM) (new)

Gingerlily - The Full Wild | 34228 comments There are some loud explosions in The Hobbit, and sword-fighting, and dwarf-singing! And they quaff ale.


message 581: by Marc (new)

Marc Nash (sulci) | 4313 comments any dwarf tossing? No? Then I'm not interested


Gingerlily - The Full Wild | 34228 comments Dwarves do go flying through the air. and fall down into tunnels. There are stone giants having a fight too!


message 583: by R.J. (new)

R.J. Askew (rjaskew) | 855 comments Sounds like the Central Line .. lemme off! BIFF! lemme on BOFF!


message 584: by Patti (baconater) (new)

Patti (baconater) (goldengreene) | 56525 comments Dwarrows, isn't it?

Quaff is a wonderful word.

Quawwwffffffffffff


Gingerlily - The Full Wild | 34228 comments It just means they spill lots of it.


message 586: by Patti (baconater) (new)

Patti (baconater) (goldengreene) | 56525 comments Spill???

What a waste. :(


Gingerlily - The Full Wild | 34228 comments It gets messy.


message 588: by R.J. (new)

R.J. Askew (rjaskew) | 855 comments kwaff, kwill, kwallo!


Gingerlily - The Full Wild | 34228 comments R.J. wrote: "kwaff, kwill, kwallo!"

Still on the Central Line?


message 590: by Marc (new)

Marc Nash (sulci) | 4313 comments Gingerlily (or Cyberlily..) wrote: "R.J. wrote: "kwaff, kwill, kwallo!"

Still on the Central Line?"


sounds more akin to the District9 Line


message 591: by R.J. (last edited Dec 23, 2012 07:16AM) (new)

R.J. Askew (rjaskew) | 855 comments Marc wrote: "Gingerlily (or Cyberlily..) wrote: "R.J. wrote: "kwaff, kwill, kwallo!"

Still on the Central Line?"

sounds more akin to the District9 Line"


Sounds like a 5-live call in


message 592: by R.J. (new)

R.J. Askew (rjaskew) | 855 comments Ach, I can't resist this Christmassy spiral that's got a hold of me .. here we go off to another neighbour's for dwinkies .. will Professor Pain be there ? a lovely guy who is literally an expert of pain .. he wears the snazziest shoes I've ever seen. Hi ho hi ho .. it's off to dwink we go .. AGGGGGGGG, WHO PARKED THAT REINDEER THERE!?!


message 593: by Marc (new)

Marc Nash (sulci) | 4313 comments Rain dear? Aye, plenty of it


message 594: by Patti (baconater) (new)

Patti (baconater) (goldengreene) | 56525 comments You ain't seen snazzy shoes til you've seen Baku snazzy shoes.

I'm gonna have to start snapping Baku shoes...


message 595: by Gingerlily - The Full Wild (last edited Dec 23, 2012 11:56AM) (new)


message 596: by R.J. (new)

R.J. Askew (rjaskew) | 855 comments Gingerlily (or Cyberlily..) wrote: "Snazzy shoes...

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-uQXJhPO-3Qw...

or for men...

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_is5v-qHvLMY......"


I am now officially a shoe fetischist. And I owe it all to you. Where do I meet the Princess with the Hammy hooves?


Gingerlily - The Full Wild | 34228 comments I don't want to spoil your illusions, so I won't tell you the truth... She is somewhere in the clouds of mystery that is Google...


message 598: by R.J. (new)

R.J. Askew (rjaskew) | 855 comments Ach, and there I was hoping she might be a fellow lost soul on the St.Albans to St.Pancras line .. sweet dreams are made of this. *sobs*


Gingerlily - The Full Wild | 34228 comments She must remain a sweet dream - a fleeting impression that perfumes your thoughts...


message 600: by Marc (new)

Marc Nash (sulci) | 4313 comments London's Sainted Pancreas?


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