R J Askew ~ One Swift Summer

[Patti (baconater)]

Doesn't matter as long as there's room to add vodka.

[Marc]

that'll be a double then Patti?

[Patti (baconater)]

Totally

[R.J.]

wodka n optimism .. on da wocks

[Gingerlily - The Full Wild]

wock and woll

[R.J.]

wearing my silk frock coat with silver lapel flash .. No 1 jeans .. must behave .. will behave .. must behave .. though .. madness sheer madness .. kiss me, KISS ME!

[Patti (baconater)]

I think I'm getting yet another cold.

How's about a big smile and a wink instead?

[Gingerlily - The Full Wild]

He can kiss me instead then.

[R.J.]

M W A H! .. phew .. OXYGEN! OXY ...

[Gingerlily - The Full Wild]

Oooh I feel all warm and fuzzy now. :)

[R.J.]

Hi, Warm here, meet by buddy, Fuzzy .. we're in the home heating buziness and buziness is goooood, ain't that right Fuzz baby?

Yup, spot on Warm, you're the daddy.

[Gingerlily - The Full Wild]

They are a very popular pair. Funny, that...

[Patti (baconater)]

Where's wuzzy?

[Gingerlily - The Full Wild]

Over in the corner in a drunken heap..

[R.J.]

Wuzzy here, I ain't drunk! I was just resting my eyes after that last samba.

[Gingerlily - The Full Wild]

And the snoring and drooling?

[R.J.]

Ach, fair point. It must have been that second barrel of Black Sheep Ale and - I confess - I may have been dreaming about the Helle, the Finnish indoor javelin champion again.

[Gingerlily - The Full Wild]

A javelin through the heart?

[Marc]

Indoor javelin? Isn't that called darts?

[R.J.]

A-hun-dred-an-eight-yyyy .. I feel a tweet coming on

[Gingerlily - The Full Wild]

Or according to one book I read, Drats!

[R.J.]

So he who said, 'Drat it all, Biggles old boy!' was actally frying to say 'Dart over and sort it all out, Biggles old boy.' Struth!

[Gingerlily - The Full Wild]

ummm. . . frying? was that supposed to be flying or trying?

[R.J.]

Hmmm, I am certainly trying tooooo hard .. am told I can be very trying.

[Patti (baconater)]

See, now that always confuses me in rugby.

Shouldn't it be called a 'succeed'?

[Marc]

Patti (Plucky Persimmon) wrote: "See, now that always confuses me in rugby.

Shouldn't it be called a 'succeed'?"

A 'miracle' seeing how boring rugby is

[Patti (baconater)]

Good point Marc.

[Marc]

Patti (Plucky Persimmon) wrote: "Good point Marc."

and 2 points for the conversion after

[Patti (baconater)]

Groan

[Marc]

16 men forming a birthing circle to yield an egg? What's up with that then

[R.J.]

Take three indie authors .. simmer quitely for 364 days .. add juice of nine freshly squeezed novels .. marinate in aspic of hope .. add diced publisher .. kindle for 5 hours .. season with hundreds-n-thousands of pitches .. add 100 kilos of freshly gouged readers' eyes .. strike a light. Serve on a dolphin's tail.

[Gingerlily - The Full Wild]

Is that the recipe for success?

[R.J.]

Yep, but getting the dolphin is the really tricky part. They are more expensive than footballers wives these days, and their agents drive wicked deals .. I mean, we is talking, gold plated sushi.

Get the dolphin bit right and the public will form orderly queues at whichever door you click your fingers at. I tweet you not, it wld be like being Stephen King on a very high dose of valium.

[Gingerlily - The Full Wild]

So we are talking live and participating dolphind then. Otherwise you'll have thousands of rabid dolphin lovers having fits and foaming at the mouth...

[R.J.]

Mais oui, most dolphinately.

Being part dolphin myself I wld have no other way.

*waves flipper at you*

[Gingerlily - The Full Wild]

Here, have some nice fish.

*throws big juicy fish*

[R.J.]

txs mackrel, very tasty

here's a little clip of me an my bruv on a mini-break off the Florida keys .. I'm the guuuud luuuucking one wiv da swept-back fins >>>

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PB1l9K...

[Gingerlily - The Full Wild]

Oooooh lovely, like a dolphin ballet!

[R.J.]

Exactly, and I am actually yr indie dolphin author .. and by heck that mackrel were reet tasty .. *bows*

[Gingerlily - The Full Wild]

Will arrange special Christmas mackerel delivery. Can't have starving indie dolphin authors in this group.

[Patti (baconater)]

Can I call him Flipper?

[Patti (baconater)]

http://m.youtube.com/#/watch?v=azEOeT...

[Gingerlily - The Full Wild]

Flipperon?

[Patti (baconater)]

R Flip

[Gingerlily - The Full Wild]

Flipaskew!!

[Patti (baconater)]

You win

[Gingerlily - The Full Wild]

Yay!!

[Marc]

Flipper shall always mean to me: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u4ZLkl...

[R.J.]

Here's the ideal MDF writer in terms of animals .. 1/4 dolphin for slick-k-k-k-k-k good humour and irrepressible genius .. 1/4 sheswift for sheer acrobatic verve in the metaphores .. 1/4 shewolf for those sombrero moments without a sale when you learn who you are .. 1/4 John Churchill, 1st Duke of Marlborogh, for the ability to get Jarvis Cocker's ordinary people to do things for you .. 1/4 Romeo Beckham for monstrously bankable genes.

[Marc]

I refer to dolphins in an as yet unpublished novel. They are the go to species for God when man has finally screwed everything about the planet up