Fifty Shades of Grey
discussion
How old should someone be to read this book?
Anna-Kathrin wrote: "Where does the book acknowledge this? Well, I've only read the first book and the beginning of the second. So is this stated in one of the two follow-ups? Sure, at the end of the first book, Ana "breaks up" with Christian, but then in the second book, as soon as he calls her, she's meeting him again. I don't think that's sending a good message."There are 3 books. If you notice in the first book, Ana never signs that contract. As weak as she is portrayed, she has enough sense not to give over that kind of power. As the story progresses through books 2 & 3, Christian comes to realize that his behavior is destructive. Were you stupid enough at age 15-16 to believe what any fictional book said about anything? Did you ever read Wuthering Heights and dissect the personality of Heathcliff? Or Mr. Rochester in Jane Eyre? Let's look at Tess of the D'urbervilles or a host of other "classics" in which there are bad characters or conflicted characters with issues. Before I get any flack for comparing these books to the Brontes or Hardy, I acknowledge these books are not classics and never will be. However, I have a big problem with people telling other people not to read a book, especially if they claim it will be psychologically damaging. It that were the case, we would never be encouraged to read "The Diary of Anne Frank" or "Sophie's Choice." If nothing else, these books have begun some type of discussion on human sexuality.
Anna-Kathrin wrote: "Also: I don’t tell people to not read this thing because it’s psychologically damaging, but because it’s just badly written and mind numbingly boring. That is all. I would never discourage anyone from reading a book that is considered "psychologically damaging", I think it's important to read books like "Anne Frank". I just don't recommend this book because you will most likely be bored out of your mind and cringe all the time. People shouldn't spend their money on books like this and encourage the publication of Twilight fanfiction that sounds like it's been written by an illiterate 10-year old. "The value of the book is in the eye of the beholder. I would never presume to tell someone else NOT to read a book. I would always tell them to read and see for themselves. However, hyperbole rarely gets us anywhere. This book is not written like it was an illiterate 10 year old (especially since an illiterate 10 year old most likely could not even form letters to write). There are much more poorly written books out there. This book reads more like a rough draft that needs heavy editing. The technical writing actually improves in books 2 & 3. People do not have to spend their money on these books as many libraries have them in circulation. Obviously there are lots of people who have read these books who have NOT been bored out of their minds.
The implausibility of the son of a titled mother marrying a daughter of an impoverished gentleman farmer might be discussed when talking about Pride and Prejudice. I doubt most of the public/women in the 19th century thought that they would end up being married to a wealthy aristocrat after they read it. What bugs me most about this line of discussion is the idea that people do not have the ability to distinguish fiction from reality.
Anna-Kathrin wrote: "I just find it sad that women still seem to find abusive relationships romantic and that some seem to think that obsessive and controlling men are sexy. But to each their own, I guess..."I think this is the largest misconception of the books. In book one, Christian was controlling and abusive. Those who read on find out that Ana comes to realize this and rejects it. So the Christian that these girls are "in love" with is not the same Christian of book one. HE acknowledges he is "fucked up." Throughout the books, with the help of a therapist, he comes to learn WHY he was controlling. Those girls like the CHANGED Christian. Having said that, there are lots of dark characters in books that I love. I love Mr. Rochester in Jane Eyre. I also loved Darcy in Pride and Prejudice at the end, but I hated him at the beginning of the book (although I do not consider him a dark character). Same for Mr. Thornton in "North and South." Most love stories have at least one of the characters who are conflicted and they grow as a person during the course of the book. I think if you only read the first book, you are left with the wrong impression of Christian and Ana. So I am not hard on people who "love" Christian. They see a wounded soul who through hard work and self analysis found redemption. While the story could have been constructed better, that is the central message.
Mary wrote: "Catherine wrote: "No one should have read FSOG, because it should have NEVER been released. Grammatical errors and elementary school wording make up about 95% of the story. It was a waste of paper ..."Not at all...I just think that editors & publishing houses should pay more attention to what they put out. I mean...when was the last time you read a book where "Holy crap" and "inner goddess" were used on almost every page?!
How about 50? or should it be a 100 years old? Better yet, DON'T READ IT!
Catherine wrote: "Not at all...I just think that editors & publishing houses should pay more attention to what they put out. I mean...when was the last time you read a book where "Holy crap" and "inner goddess" were used on almost every page?! .."Publishers are out to make money. That is their purpose. They gambled on E.L. James and won. I have read books from just about every spectrum and FSoG is hardly the worst of the lot. It is an average to slightly below average book.
16+Obviously in our society teenagers know more about sex than people would expect.
am fifteen and i have read it. if u are open minded about the things you read then you should go for it. apart from all the sex stuff it is a really good book i enjoyed reading it and i think if u are open minded you would like it too
Anna-Kathrin wrote: "Thank you for the explanation. I didn't know this, as I have only read book one and I read some reviews that made it sound like Christian continues through the whole story like in Book 1.I migh have to read on then and see if I change my opinion. .."
Let us know if you do.
Depends on the readers mind set and I wouldn't let anyone under the age of 15 to read this book because at 15 you should know by know what sex is and that it is meant between a married couple who is in love.
Even though I dislike the series, to put it mildly, I think that it should be fine to read it or books like it as soon as you're comfortable with or willing to learn about your sexuality. I was reading softcore erotica off and on by the time I was fourteen, and it didn't negatively affect my mind. It might have given me some misconceptions, but so did the state sponsored sex ed - which really should have just been called 'Stay Abstinent Until Marriage or Die a Slow Death' - I was given in school. Nothing further research and a heavy dose of real life couldn't cure.
Lisa wrote: "Just wondering what you think the suitable age should be... I'm sixteen and I've heard that this book is really good but I'm not really sure if it's appropriate for someone of my age. I heard there..."Hi! I am also 16 and have read a lot of books in this genre so for me, I didn't find it disturbing. Honestly, I thought it boring.
To answer your question, you can read it since it's actually 'mild' compare to other books. And, if you'd like, you could just skip the pages with sex scenes because you'd miss nothing. There's no major information that was shared during those times, though you'd probably have top skip 1/2 of the book. :D
My niece is 16 and me and my sister won't let her read the books no matter how much she wants to.
the right age for reading this book, well i guess 25 and above... even though the leading lady of the story is at the age of 22... there are serious stuff that only matured people can understand... the book is not just about sex it talks also the darkness in a man... and how love helps to survive grey's own battle
Why is anyone of any age reading Fifty Shades of Grey and forming their ideas of love, sex and relationships off of it? It is a work of fiction and there is a clear erotic fantasy element to the entire series. I haven't encountered anyone who is mature, sane, rational and mentally and emotionally stable that is taking it that seriously. If YOUR teen is that impressionable...where they are taking their life lessons from a fictional book above all of the real life influence that you should be providing as a parent...then no, YOUR CHILD should not be reading FSoG and it is YOUR JOB as a parent to censor it FOR YOUR CHILD.
Kimberlee wrote: "Over 30 something! Lol"i agree with you...
I personally do not think anyone that is under 18 should read this. It is graphic in many areas, often describing orgasms in deep detail. I have read many graphic novels before but this one tops them all. I believe it depends on your maturity level, this was not a romance book, more like a erotic novel.
Michael wrote: "I personally do not think anyone that is under 18 should read this. It is graphic in many areas, often describing orgasms in deep detail. I have read many graphic novels before but this one tops th..."Try hentai, you'll see 50 shades is dull and repetitive. And no tentacles whatsoever.
I may not be interested in that, depending on the type of book it is.
Michael wrote: "I personally do not think anyone that is under 18 should read this. It is graphic in many areas, often describing orgasms in deep detail. I have read many graphic novels before but this one tops th..."Deep detail of orgasm??? Oh you mean "coming apart at the seams like a washing machine on spin cycle". That is really quite deep.....pffffftttthahahaha!!!!! What a way to make an orgasm sound boring!!!
Nuran wrote: "Michael wrote: "I personally do not think anyone that is under 18 should read this. It is graphic in many areas, often describing orgasms in deep detail. I have read many graphic novels before but ..."Her sex ... down there ...
It's called a vagina, Ana. Fun words to replace it with instead: Clunge, fanny, noony, Vange (you'd have to be local to me to get that one), fangita, the goal-hole ... endless possibilites. Every time I read 'down there' I think of her toes.
Nuran wrote: "Michael wrote: "I personally do not think anyone that is under 18 should read this. It is graphic in many areas, often describing orgasms in deep detail. I have read many graphic novels before but ..."We must have been reading two different books, if you did not find any scene when she was describing an organism.
Michael wrote: “We must have been reading two different books, if you did not find any scene when she was describing an organism.”I’m saying she did describe an orgasm but she did it in the most boring way. No where in my previous post did I say there was no detail of an orgasm in the book, what I was saying was her depth isn’t that great or that graphic. I gave you a quote of her describing an orgasm, SM referencing a washing machine. Clearly you must have read a different book if you didn’t regonise the quote.
If you're questioning the suitability then don't read it.
I read this and I'm 17. When i saw the cover, I never got the impression that it would be erotica. I wanted to read this because I've heard other people fussing about this and BOOM! I READ FIFTY SHADES OF GREY. I didn't tell this to my family because they will think I am gross. Haha. I'm a psychology major so I guess my excuse for reading this is anything that involves Psychology, because Christian is pretty messed up. I learned a lot from this book. I didn't mind the erotic part though. I was already warned that this is not for the faint of heart and I'm pretty much stronger and open-minded about these things. Keep This Out of Reach of Children Below 15 I guess. Hahaha xD
...if you are questioning the readability, also don't read it...
Michael wrote: "I personally do not think anyone that is under 18 should read this. It is graphic in many areas, often describing orgasms in deep detail. I have read many graphic novels before but this one tops th..."Did you wait until you were 18 to have your first orgasm?
Siobhan wrote: Her sex ... down there ...It's called a vagina, Ana. Fun words to replace it with instead: Clunge, fanny, noony, Vange (you'd have to be local to me to get that one), fangita, the goal-hole ... endless possibilites. Every time I read 'down there' I think of her toes. ."
It would be out of character for her to call it by anything crass. She is depicted as a naive virgin. I know 80 year old women who still call it "down there."
Maybe, but most naive virgins still know the text book references. And if she's going to mills and boon it on Christian's body parts, it should be the same for Ana.
Nuran wrote: "I’m saying she did describe an orgasm but she did it in the most boring way. No where in my previous post did I say there was no detail of an orgasm in the book, what I was saying was her depth isn’t that great or that graphic. I gave you a quote of her describing an orgasm, SM referencing a washing machine. Clearly you must have read a different book if you didn’t regonise the quote. .."But that goes to the author's writing ability, not the maturity level of the book. It seems Michael objects to an orgasm being described at all.
Siobhan wrote: "Maybe, but most naive virgins still know the text book references. And if she's going to mills and boon it on Christian's body parts, it should be the same for Ana."I guess I have known more repressed virgins than you. There is a lot to criticize in these books. I just don't think that one is one of them. It may make one think Ana is silly, but she WAS silly.
I am 15 and i read the book. Before i offer my advise i'll tell you this. It took me a while before i actually read the book. I read a lot and i love romance novels and most of them usually have sex scenes in them. Many adults, do not think it is right for children to read books with explicit sex scenes in them because it may corrupt us but i'll tell you this if you don't find it in books, you will find it elsewhere. That is probably not very good advise, but you are 16 and old enough to know what is right and wrong do you think that further knowledge about sex will make you any less innocent? Probably but it depends on how you use the information.It is a very explicit, probably too much. I remember at a point I thought the hero was very sick because he could be described as a sadist however I looked at it as educational in a way that I now know there are people like that out there and that i should protect myself from them.
To be honest though, reading the book will not make your life that much better or worse, it is really just up to you. Are you ready for another level of adult romance or do you want to be sheltered from it until you are ready?
Our library used this book for its Intellectual Freedomprogram this fall. There was a panel and they talked about all kinds of aspects about the book. The one place that had the most contention was what age should be a good age to read this. With guidance a teen can read this. I would however suggest the book The Wind Blows Backwards by Mary Downing Hahn which is about two teens and romance.
these kind of books are totally ridiculous, dunno, where do people get this kind of rubbish in their heads from, these books should be banned, they are totally immoral, shouldnt be read by any sane person. yukh!!!
Abb wrote: "these kind of books are totally ridiculous, dunno, where do people get this kind of rubbish in their heads from, these books should be banned, they are totally immoral, shouldnt be read by any sane..."Any sane person would NEVER call for books to be banned.
Mary wrote: "Michael wrote: "I personally do not think anyone that is under 18 should read this. It is graphic in many areas, often describing orgasms in deep detail. I have read many graphic novels before but ..."What does this book have to do with me? I thought we were discussing a book and not our own personal experience.
Nuran wrote: "Michael wrote: “We must have been reading two different books, if you did not find any scene when she was describing an organism.”I’m saying she did describe an orgasm but she did it in the most ..."
No I have read the same book,thanks:) I misunderstood you,my apologies. Obviously we have two different meanings of the word boring and that is fine.
Catherine wrote: "No one should have read FSOG, because it should have NEVER been released. Grammatical errors and elementary school wording make up about 95% of the story. It was a waste of paper & Kindle space. Ju..."Well said
Michael wrote: "What does this book have to do with me? I thought we were discussing a book and not our own personal experience. "Personal experience has everything to do with it. Why would you care that orgasms are discussed in the book?
Mary wrote: "Abb wrote: "these kind of books are totally ridiculous, dunno, where do people get this kind of rubbish in their heads from, these books should be banned, they are totally immoral, shouldnt be read..."Agreed. Every book has it's place. Unless it's a demonic lexicon from beyond the grave that eats souls for breakfast and plays annoying infomercials to drive the unwary insane. If that were the case, I'd understand wanting to ban it. Infomercials are the bane of any sane mind.
Banning a book just because it's bad or immoral? I agree, that's not okay. It leads to a very slippery slope.
Sorry for the attempt at humor before trying to be serious, colds make me a little loopy.
Mary wrote: "Abb wrote: "these kind of books are totally ridiculous, dunno, where do people get this kind of rubbish in their heads from, these books should be banned, they are totally immoral, shouldnt be read..."if one had a foresight, and care for the human intellect, the degradation that such 'literary offals' bring, one would surely ban them, rather reduce them to ashes.
I think that it's more about maturity and your own opinion on life then you age. As someone who is only in her early twenties, but waited for her spouse, I have to say I wouldn't recommend the book to a virgin. Though i'm not certain I'd recommend it at all honestly. It's more than just a little twisted sexually. ;) But with that being said I was reading books with sex scenes when I was 16, it just wasn't the main point of the story. Pretty much if you're wanting noting but a full on sex this sex that book this is fine but don't expect an actual plot.
Abb wrote: "if one had a foresight, and care for the human intellect, the degradation that such 'literary offals' bring, one would surely ban them, rather reduce them to ashes. .."How does one distinguish between the good and the bad with nothing for comparison? If only "intellectual" books were allowed to be written, then we would be comparing good vs. bad intellectual books and those we might have previously thought good might suddenly become offal. It is all perspective. Who is to choose what is offal and what is not? Some of the first novels published would be considered pretty melodramatic and hysterical by today's standards. Yet we still read Radcliffe and Walpole today to study the evolution of the novel and to gain insight into the minds of 18th century novelists. The idea that some books should be banned because a segment of society finds them either disgusting, poorly written or morally reprehensible is just patently ridiculous.
Mary wrote: "Abb wrote: "if one had a foresight, and care for the human intellect, the degradation that such 'literary offals' bring, one would surely ban them, rather reduce them to ashes. .."How does one di..."
the concept of good vs evil is not relative, it never was, the times have evolved, not the basic sentiments, the light dominates dark, never vice versa. conscience, if clear, is enough a guide, and hence my point is made, whether one agrees to it or not. the corruption was ever alluring, be it written or said. the thing that's hard is to face the heat.
Paulene wrote: "Paulene I read this and I'm 17. When i saw the cover, I never got the impression that it would be erotica. I wanted to read this because I've heard other people fussing about this and BOOM! I READ FIFTY SHADES OF GREY. I didn't tell this to my family because they will think I am gross. Haha. I'm a psychology major so I guess my excuse for reading this is anything that involves Psychology, because Christian is pretty messed up. I learned a lot from this book. I didn't mind the erotic part though. I was already warned that this is not for the faint of heart and I'm pretty much stronger and open-minded about these things. Keep This Out of Reach of Children Below 15 I guess. Hahaha xD"As a person with the psychology degree I just wanted to say please please please do not think this book accurately describes psychology. Do not use it as a guide or anything of the sort. E.L. James does not know anything about the field, she just made up a psychologist and had him say what she wanted him to say, as characters do. The situation in the book was very unrealistic and I just don't want people to go away thinking that this book was an accurate representation of the field. Being a sadist, not really a diagnosis. And he didn't give it as one thankfully. Though I wouldn't be surprised if Christian had a personality disorder. He was a mess. And truly, you can't change people. They teach you in psychology classes that people rarely change and that the best predictor of future behavior is past behavior. Women can't change men. Only the person who wants to change can change themselves. It doesn't just happen all of the sudden. It takes a lot of work and usually includes a lot of failures and falling back on previous behavior. Sorry for the rant. I just had to say this.
Abb wrote: "the concept of good vs evil is not relative, it never was, the times have evolved, not the basic sentiments, the light dominates dark, never vice versa. conscience, if clear, is enough a guide, and hence my point is made, whether one agrees to it or not. the corruption was ever alluring, be it written or said. the thing that's hard is to face the heat. .."Ok...so you are just and idiot. Understood.
By now, everyone in the world knows what this book is about. It is definitely not a book I would want to see my teenage daughter reading. The theme is far too adult for a 16 year old. I honestly don't think a young teenager would be able to see past the sex to what the story is truly about. Many adults can't do that either. It's all in what you are comfortable with, but you should wait until you are older (and a bit wiser in matters of love and sex) before you read this.
Mary wrote: "Michael wrote: "What does this book have to do with me? I thought we were discussing a book and not our own personal experience. "Personal experience has everything to do with it. Why would you..."
No it does not. We are talking about a book and you are talking about personal experiences. I simply said that for those that are mature and can handle orgasms, than that is fine. It is an opinion, based on the BOOK, not personal.
Mary wrote: "Abb wrote: "the concept of good vs evil is not relative, it never was, the times have evolved, not the basic sentiments, the light dominates dark, never vice versa. conscience, if clear, is enough ..."Wow really? That says a lot about you as a person. Learn how to accept an opinion.
Good day!
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The book acknowledges that the relationship is unhealthy. Should we also ban high school students from reading Wuthering Heights?