Fifty Shades of Grey
discussion
How old should someone be to read this book?
I would say these books are certainly not suitable for anyone under 18, it has very explicit sex throughout and also BDSM,although I have only read the first one of the trilogy so far, I assume the other two run with pretty much the same theme!
I'm 16, read to page 6 before my mom just snatched the book from me and forbade me to read it. I have read the explicit women of the otherworld series by kelley armstrong, which she knows, and write my own VERY adult books. I have a nook and think its the only way I can read it (I already like the first 6 pages) but she won't let me on my kindle because it will charge her credit card account and she'll know I'm wanting to buy it. I am open-minded, know it's not real, very mature for my age, and want to read this book. This thread eased my anger about it and I read every post. But my question is, based on the posts and what I just said, should my mom let me read it?
Im 17 right now but i read Fifty Shades when i was 16. I was disturbed really, but then again it was the first BDSM erotic genre i've read so i didn't quite understood the genre.To me, i think it how mentally mature you are no matter the age. But of course, at least age 16 and over...
Anna wrote: "I'm 16, read to page 6 before my mom just snatched the book from me and forbade me to read it. I have read the explicit women of the otherworld series by kelley armstrong, which she knows, and writ..."Unfortunately that is between you and you mom. Talk to her and try and understand her reasoning as to why she does not want you to read the book... then provide a case as to why you should read the book ( what will you learn, be exposed to, pros & cons) and see what happens... but do listen to you Mom's reasoning as well (that is the adult/mature thing to do)
Lisa wrote: "Just wondering what you think the suitable age should be... I'm sixteen and I've heard that this book is really good but I'm not really sure if it's appropriate for someone of my age. I heard there..."This book is not for Teens the subject matter is to intense and certainly not appropriate. This Is Not Twilight. Even if you think you are mature you are NOT this MATURE.
Paris (kerbytejas) wrote: "Nadd wrote: "Im 16, is it wrong?!"I bet you hate people saying it depends ...but it does. There are some sexual situations in these books that may be shocking to one so young and inexperienced in..."
Thanks for the advice :))
I would say that 18+ is appropriate!! I have a friend that allowed her 14 year old daughter to read it AFTER she read it and I was horrified.
Claire wrote: "I think it all depends on how comfortable you are with the content and the maturity of the person. I'm 16 and I read it. Not a big deal. People are making it way more than it is. It's just sex, peo..."
Sex IS a big deal!!!!
Sex IS a big deal!!!!
Kathy wrote: "Lisa wrote: "Just wondering what you think the suitable age should be... I'm sixteen and I've heard that this book is really good but I'm not really sure if it's appropriate for someone of my age. ..."So the you would also say "Bared To You" should also not be read by young adults... or do you just have a thing for this book trilogy?
"bared to you" should also be 18+
Victoria wrote: ""bared to you" should also be 18+"so you have issues with the heavily scripted sex or the inclusion of BDSM topics?
what makes the book unsuitable in your opinion for those under 18+
what about books with no sex but violence?
I've wrote a few posts on this before but looking back at it I think you should read books that you enjoy. And honestly I don't see anyone under 18 enjoying reading this erotica (me included). The book barely has a plot it's just graphic. Personally I don't think anyone under 18 needs/wants to read sadistic erotica and overal I don't have a lot of respect for the book and it's only getting publicity for negative reasons.
bookowl wrote: "I've wrote a few posts on this before but looking back at it I think you should read books that you enjoy. And honestly I don't see anyone under 18 enjoying reading this erotica (me included). The ..."
I have no issues with either topics in either book I really enjoyed both books Very much!!! I don't think they were as bad as the press make out plus it's fiction. But I do think that young girls/boys of a young age reading these sort of books could get easily confused as to what is right/wrong/normal etc in relationships etc etc. in today's world we live in young teens/adults are exposed to porn etc at an awfully young age and it's PROVING to be incredibly dangerous to how these teens grow into adults!!! As an adult reading the book it's easy to read it and not get carried away. I'm not saying there is anything wrong with people who enjoy sub/dom relationships or any other type of BDSM, everyone is different but at least let our future generation learn that safe consensual sex with people we love is very important.
I have no issues with either topics in either book I really enjoyed both books Very much!!! I don't think they were as bad as the press make out plus it's fiction. But I do think that young girls/boys of a young age reading these sort of books could get easily confused as to what is right/wrong/normal etc in relationships etc etc. in today's world we live in young teens/adults are exposed to porn etc at an awfully young age and it's PROVING to be incredibly dangerous to how these teens grow into adults!!! As an adult reading the book it's easy to read it and not get carried away. I'm not saying there is anything wrong with people who enjoy sub/dom relationships or any other type of BDSM, everyone is different but at least let our future generation learn that safe consensual sex with people we love is very important.
Victoria wrote: "bookowl wrote: "I've wrote a few posts on this before but looking back at it I think you should read books that you enjoy. And honestly I don't see anyone under 18 enjoying reading this erotica (me..."my question back to this is..wouldn't being exposed to this in reading, allow them to ask questions that might help them formulate what they might want in future relationships? they might say oh no i don't want this or thats gross...etc
if they are mature enough - or if they happen to be sexually active already - i would think reading about it would be far safer then stumbling into it blindly. Reading can provide knowledge and knowledge is power to have at ones disposal
Paris (kerbytejas) wrote: "Victoria wrote: "bookowl wrote: "I've wrote a few posts on this before but looking back at it I think you should read books that you enjoy. And honestly I don't see anyone under 18 enjoying reading..."
Of course I think you are completely right but being a mother to a son and a daughter clouds my judgement I think as I wouldnt want my children growing up and reading this in their teens!!! I plan to be very open with them about sex when the time comes and I wouldn't want tem reading books like this where the men dominate every aspect of the girls lives that ISN'T love being jealous ISN'T love, being controlling over what you wear where you go who you talk to what you drink and eat etc ISN'T a form of showing you're love. REAL love is loving someone for themselves allowing them to be their own person and make their own choices and supporting their choices and BOTH the women in these books allow the men to dictate to them. I wouldn't allow my daughter to let a man treat her that way and I would be extremely disappointed if my son was to be so disrespectful to a woman. Which is also partly why I think these books need age limits, yes they may teach them things but they also teach them A LOT about what is SO VERY WRONG in relationships!!! And by doing so I think it's very easy to get swept up in the love stories in both books and make the mistake of thinking that you want that. But I want to make it clear I really really enjoyed both this books A LOT, I just wouldn't allow my 16 year old children to read it I'm an adult and not an impressionable teenager.
Of course I think you are completely right but being a mother to a son and a daughter clouds my judgement I think as I wouldnt want my children growing up and reading this in their teens!!! I plan to be very open with them about sex when the time comes and I wouldn't want tem reading books like this where the men dominate every aspect of the girls lives that ISN'T love being jealous ISN'T love, being controlling over what you wear where you go who you talk to what you drink and eat etc ISN'T a form of showing you're love. REAL love is loving someone for themselves allowing them to be their own person and make their own choices and supporting their choices and BOTH the women in these books allow the men to dictate to them. I wouldn't allow my daughter to let a man treat her that way and I would be extremely disappointed if my son was to be so disrespectful to a woman. Which is also partly why I think these books need age limits, yes they may teach them things but they also teach them A LOT about what is SO VERY WRONG in relationships!!! And by doing so I think it's very easy to get swept up in the love stories in both books and make the mistake of thinking that you want that. But I want to make it clear I really really enjoyed both this books A LOT, I just wouldn't allow my 16 year old children to read it I'm an adult and not an impressionable teenager.
Victoria- I totally agree with you and if my mum had read the book Id hope she'd have the same opinion. I'm 13 but I can see where you come with impressionable teenagers.
bookowl wrote: "Victoria- I totally agree with you and if my mum had read the book Id hope she'd have the same opinion. I'm 13 but I can see where you come with impressionable teenagers."
Thank you!! Let's hope when my kids become teenager in many years they agree with mummy hahaha
Thank you!! Let's hope when my kids become teenager in many years they agree with mummy hahaha
I do completely agree with Victoria. These books do not show real love. And If I coould go back and change that I read the books, I wouldn't. Because it only taught me what not to do and what not to tolerate in a man. It taught me that I should wait until marriage and not be so easliy influenced. Nowadays you got to be strong headed and realize that guys can be complete jerks. Naivity and vulnerability is not a choice for teens. You have to be aware of eevrything especially sex. So thank you Victoria for wanting your children to know real love. You and my mom have a lot in common! :)
**SPOILER ALERT**So my mom just recently approved me to read it, so long as I am open about the contents. Most of the book is in explicit detail, like when Grey takes away Ana's virginity, and the way he did made me a little uncomfortable since I am a virgin myself, so I don't know what sex is like.
I think it's a good book, and your daughter should have the choice whether or not to read it. I'm currently where Ana just woke up from Grey making love to her, and now they are both in thr bubble bath and he is showing and stroking his penis to Ana. The scene actually reminds me of "Forever..." a book by Judy Blume, that I read two years ago and kind of scarred me for a bit.
As long as your daughter has an open mind and is willing to share any questions she may have, I think it's perfectly fine for her to read it. Best that her mother is there to answer any questions then hearing about it and looking up online what exactly BDSM is and images of it.
Darnelle wrote: "I do completely agree with Victoria. These books do not show real love. And If I coould go back and change that I read the books, I wouldn't. Because it only taught me what not to do and what not t..."I think it isn't fair to claim it as unreal love, but it isn't necessarily the most mudane choice. Some people live that way and they like ir- doesn't mean there's no real love involved. To them, our usual way of lovemaking may seem weird or not real love. Just because we do things in a different way doesn't mean another is wrong.
That doesn't mean I want to be whipped and submissive, because I'm swell with normal lovemaking, even though it's never happend. And if I were Ana I don't know if I'd say no, because I felt actual love coarse my body when around this one man, and that's something I can't just ignore. But I would want a solid relationship, and do some things on my own terms. Ana is pretty easy to sway and is blinded by love. Grey obviously has respect for her and a huge part of love is respect. (That's what makes me so pissed about the big kristin stewart scandal- I don't care about rob, but kristin said she loves rob and is sorry. She obviously doesn't respect him, so she doesn't love him either.) That's an example for Ana and Grey's deep love and passion to compare to.
This book is NOT for ANYONE under 18 years of age! I am 52, a grandmother and I wasn't ready for some of the things I read in THAT book. I understand your attraction, as the media "HYPE" really made it a Pandora's Box. I too fell into the.....I just have to see why so many people are talking about this! I agree with message 47..." It is a STORY. " Will I read the next two? I am undecided.
Donna wrote: "This book is NOT for ANYONE under 18 years of age! I am 52, a grandmother and I wasn't ready for some of the things I read in THAT book. I understand your attraction, as the media "HYPE" really ..."I disagree. I am 16, and while I have questions it doesn't mean it's an inappropriate book. Age doesn't matter, like others have said. It's about your personal comfort zone and how open-minded you are. I am 307 pages into the book so far.
Anna wrote: "Donna wrote: "This book is NOT for ANYONE under 18 years of age! I am 52, a grandmother and I wasn't ready for some of the things I read in THAT book. I understand your attraction, as the media ..."Agree with you *Handsdown* Im 16 too
To read this book you should be at least 80 year old male, because at that age you need a lot to get going.
Iwona wrote: "To read this book you should be at least 80 year old male, because at that age you need a lot to get going."....Huh?
Nadd wrote: "Anna wrote: "Donna wrote: "This book is NOT for ANYONE under 18 years of age! I am 52, a grandmother and I wasn't ready for some of the things I read in THAT book. I understand your attraction, a...":)
I feel like you can read it at any age and still be really confronted by the intense sex scenes. I'm also 16 and I got it, not knowing it was an BDSM erotica. I was fine with some of it but when it got really disturbing, I just had to stop. Also, the bad writing of it was just too much of a turn-off.
Well, to be honest, I am younger than 16 and I read the whole series. It isn't that bad. If you are not comfortable reading that stuff, then don't read it. If you think you are mature enough then read it. The only reason I read it was because many people my age recommended it to me. They read it and said it wasn't that bad, and I discovered they were right. This obviously isn't a book that I would normally read, yet I didn't really mind it. I personally don't think there is a certain age that you have to be to read this book. It depends on how mature you are and whether or not you are comfortable and actually want to read this type of book.
Claudia wrote: "I feel like you can read it at any age and still be really confronted by the intense sex scenes. I'm also 16 and I got it, not knowing it was an BDSM erotica. I was fine with some of it but when it..."I do agree, el james is a good writer but I am not too fond of her style. As a writer myself I see mistakes more clearly than others, but most mistakes are obvious and repetitive. For example: -so i do this. So then i do that. So i sit here. So i look at him.- I notice a lot of tell instead of show, and the same words starting every line. It annoys me >.<
Quick question- is it come or cum? Becauae I always thought it was spelled cum, and it irritates me every single time I read come because of mispelling. :3
I want to get one thing straight too for the bdsm in this book- I am 16, a virgin, never been kissed, currently having butterflies around a guy who lives across the border and neither one of us have a car, never had a proper relationship (ex I wasn't completely attracted to), still don't know a lot about sex but learn as I hear about it, innocently unaware and gullible, horny at times like most teenagers and joke about it, and despite all that- I am still reading this book and find I am most certainly comfortable with it, and in fact I am intrigued. Despite my inexperience and lack of knowledge. I do not find a specific age to be appropriate, only how mature and open-minded you are.
I wouldn't bother reading it. Sex scenes don't bother me (I'm over 30) but I didn't feel the book had a story other than the sex. I didn't even feel the sex scenes were that well written. JR Ward and Gena Showalter do a much better job with that AND the books have a story line. Or Diana Gabaldon's Outlander series. A few well placed sex scenes that actually propel the storyline forward and develope the characters.I wouldn't WANT my teenager to read 50 SoG, but if she insisted, I would want to read it with her and talk about it with her. It is the equlivant of reading cinderella to a two year old and not explaining that this is just a fictional story and not everyone is rescued by a prince.
Annnd...if you meet a man that wants to treat you this way (CG), run like hell. You want a man to cherish you, not hit you, burn you, break you.
Iwona wrote: "To read this book you should be at least 80 year old male, because at that age you need a lot to get going."Now that's funny!
Claudia wrote: "I feel like you can read it at any age and still be really confronted by the intense sex scenes. I'm also 16 and I got it, not knowing it was an BDSM erotica. I was fine with some of it but when it..."I am proud of you. There is so much at 16 to learn about yourself, relationships, love and sex. The book IS badly written and unrealistic. It is just the author's story/fantasy. I WAS PREGNANT AT 15 and I thought I knew it all! Life is not what you think it is at 16....
Nadd wrote: "Im 16, is it wrong?!"If you really want to read it, take it as a warning. If someone wants to treat you this way, run. he needs therapy.
If I had a 16yo girl, I would want her to read Gena Showalters, Intertwined series, or Quinn Loftis' Grey Wolf series. At least the guys treat the girls with respect. There are so many great books to read, I felt this one was very low on the list.
If you want to read books that have sex scenes (I was 16 once) then JR Ward, Gena Showalter or Diana Gabaldon all have great series, with sex scenes that add to the story...not are the story.
Julia wrote: "Nadd wrote: "Im 16, is it wrong?!"If you really want to read it, take it as a warning. If someone wants to treat you this way, run. he needs therapy.
If I had a 16yo girl, I would want her to re..."
I agree with you totally! Those are some really good books, with a storyline. :)
What's hilarious, is someone also asked this question regarding Water for Elephants, simply because of the "sex" talk in that book. (Which if you've read it, is like 2 sentences throughout the whole book). The age agreed was roughly 14. Who can handle this type of book depends on the person. If sex makes one blush, they might not tolerate this book well. If they can handle it, then do it. Honestly, I'd say the age would need to be around 20. I'm 27 and could handle this, but I don't think I could've at 18, or even 20. Well, I mean, I could've "handled" it fine, but I would've had a more negative engrossed reaction to it than I do at 27.
Reading this book has less to do with age and much more with maturity. A mature 16 year old might be ready for it whereas an immature 21 year old would not. People know what their literary tolerance is. If you question whether you are ready to read it, you probably are not.
I honestly don't think anyone who is below 18 (yes it depends on your maturity) but with what it talks about the Dom and Sub thing I don't think younger kids need to know that shit. I mean if I had a 16 year old daughter I wouldn't want her touching this book. I get that it's sex and yeah it happens all the time but it's different in this book because of the dom and sub thing again. There is also the whole thing about him being a sadistic. I mean even if you are 16 and having sex do you really know about that? It's pretty descriptive to anybody who doesn't understand things like that. I warn any younger people away from it.
Florence wrote: "I honestly don't think anyone who is below 18 (yes it depends on your maturity) but with what it talks about the Dom and Sub thing I don't think younger kids need to know that shit. I mean if I had..."The Lord of the Flies is pretty sadistic, yet we teach it in high school. To Kill a Mockingbird is very disturbing, yet many read this in elementary school. There probably cannot be a more disturbing book than Diary of Anne Frank, yet that is also a book read at earlier ages. I read Of Mice and Men when I was 11 years old. Yes it was disturbing, but also one of the best books I have ever read. I read about sex YEARS before I ever had any. Why do people think that just because someone reads something in a book they are automatically going to go out and emulate it???
Mary wrote: "Florence wrote: "I honestly don't think anyone who is below 18 (yes it depends on your maturity) but with what it talks about the Dom and Sub thing I don't think younger kids need to know that shit..."When I said sadistic I meant as in he enjoys inflicting pain on others. Those books teach us a lesson or what a great literary work it is. This book isn't teaching us other except maybe if you don't know something about sex. I read about sex before I had it too but that isn't the point I was making and I never said they will emulate it. I just don't believe they need to know all the things that happened in the book. It was super descriptive and younger kids don't need that. They get enough stupid stuff from TV.
Florence wrote: "When I said sadistic I meant as in he enjoys inflicting pain on others. Those books teach us a lesson or what a great literary work it is. This book isn't teaching us other except maybe if you don't know something about sex. I read about sex before I had it too but that isn't the point I was making and I never said they will emulate it. I just don't believe they need to know all the things that happened in the book. It was super descriptive and younger kids don't need that. They get enough stupid stuff from TV. "So being sadistic in torture is OK, but being sadistic in sex is not? There is actually very little of the SM in the book. It is mainly "vanilla sex." Kids know WAY more about sex than most adults realize. Throwing a veil over it until they are grown just invites them to explore it surreptitiously without any adult guidance or advice.
Mary wrote: "Florence wrote: "When I said sadistic I meant as in he enjoys inflicting pain on others. Those books teach us a lesson or what a great literary work it is. This book isn't teaching us other except ..."I wasn't talking about torture anywhere. I was talking about Sadism. The enjoyment of hurting other people. I never said it was ohkay, I was saying younger kids shouldn't be reading about it. Yes I agree completely kids know more and you can't put a veil over their eyes but you shouldn't hand them a book like 50 Shades of Grey and say it's ohkay. People need to watch what their kids are doing more. Not let them run free and be hooligans.
Julia wrote: "I wouldn't bother reading it. Sex scenes don't bother me (I'm over 30) but I didn't feel the book had a story other than the sex. I didn't even feel the sex scenes were that well written. JR War..."There was another story: Ana and Christian are so in love, but Ana needs to lessen his constant need to control which is brought on by a traumatic and abusive first 4 years of life. Just skim read the sex and you'll enjoy it. :)
Florence wrote: "Mary wrote: "Florence wrote: "When I said sadistic I meant as in he enjoys inflicting pain on others. Those books teach us a lesson or what a great literary work it is. This book isn't teaching us ..."I'm a kid and agree we need to be watched. Do you guys realize how bad SexEd is nowadays in school? I was glared at and ostricized by the teacher when I asked about masterbation. I know my school isnt the only one- you get a condom, a cheap sample birth control pill, and are told to be safe. We kids need to be educated on cause and effect, not just safety.
Anna wrote: "Julia wrote: "I wouldn't bother reading it. Sex scenes don't bother me (I'm over 30) but I didn't feel the book had a story other than the sex. I didn't even feel the sex scenes were that well wr..."
exactly what I did, I only read like half of the book
exactly what I did, I only read like half of the book
You know there are so many really annoying themes even in typical YA books, this just doesn't faze me. But I haven't actually read it all the way through. The thing is that books are often stories about intense stuff. I read some typical YA book about some angels who hunt demons the other day my niece had. The heroine was really an awful person. She was demanding, rude, ignorant, and felt she knew everything. Just as bad in her way as the characters here are in theirs. Fiction is not meant to be a guide to life.
Florence wrote: "I wasn't talking about torture anywhere. I was talking about Sadism. The enjoyment of hurting other people. I never said it was ohkay, I was saying younger kids shouldn't be reading about it. Yes I agree completely kids know more and you can't put a veil over their eyes but you shouldn't hand them a book like 50 Shades of Grey and say it's ohkay. People need to watch what their kids are doing more. Not let them run free and be hooligans. "Well, sadism can manifest itself as torture. There are varying degrees. I think what people miss if they only read the first book is the way Christian uses BDSM is NOT depicted as healthy. It is depicted as a crutch; one he uses to manage his life after a childhood of horror and neglect and after becoming the victim of a sexual predator in his teens. He uses it as a form of control. It is only after he learns to give up that control that we see hope for his recovery. The real message is NOT dominant men and submissive women. Christian was molested by an older woman and placed in the submissive role himself. The real message is trust. It is only after Christian learns to trust Ana that he can finally give up some control.
Anna wrote: "Claudia wrote: "I feel like you can read it at any age and still be really confronted by the intense sex scenes. I'm also 16 and I got it, not knowing it was an BDSM erotica. I was fine with some o..."Its either. It can be spelled cum or come. However, its coming, not cumming.
Anna wrote: "Florence wrote: "Mary wrote: "Florence wrote: "When I said sadistic I meant as in he enjoys inflicting pain on others. Those books teach us a lesson or what a great literary work it is. This book i..."By parents. Not teachers. Or by reading, I suppose. There is always Wikipedia if you really need to know. Sex ed is only a cursory information blip so you know what to do to stay safe. Everything else is a family matter.
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yep, very creep and gross *shudder*