Recently I was listening to a c.d. in the car that is the 20th anniversary of the Muppets. It includes some highlight songs from the original "Muppet Show" and the songs from the first movie. "It's not easy being green" struck me again for the first time in many years. I had a "Sesame Street" record that I listened to as a kid that had this song on it,and it always go to me then too. I remember when Kermit sang with Lean Horne on a duet of this song. For those of you who don't remember the song, go find it and re-listen to it. It is all about being happy with who you are.
I know that it is not easy being who we are. Most people, no matter what size they are, have a hard time figuring out who they are and who they want to be. Many wander through life trying on different lifestyles and ideas in an attempt to find themselves, others just don't even try to find one life style, but relish many different ones. There are the few who do know who they are, some from a young age, those who know what they want to do with their lives, the ones who want to be doctors, teachers, lawyers from the age of 3 and up, some because that is what the family tradition is,others it is a personal calling. Some choose to be religious figures like nuns, priests, ministers, etc. Others inventors.
Yet, when you are a person who is different from the start, it can be hard to be anything other than "the fat one", "the gay one", "the nerdy one","the geeky one", etc. Sometimes we can not escape that fact that no matter what we want to be outside of that, we are the "fat lawyer", "the gay doctor", "the nerdy" accountant. We are labeled from day one as being male/female, short, fat, tall, white, black, Asian, German, etc.
I recently posted about a story in Sweden where they are trying to develop a non-gender specific society among the children there to try to keep kids from being locked into gender roles. What I would like to see is a world where these labels are not a part of our lives. Gender roles are also not so good,but I think those come from the labels we have formed in our society over time. Humans seem to have this need to quantify and file every tiny thing, to help us make sense of the world and in many cases justify an injustice by adding "health issue" to it, or "public good", "national security", or other words that seem to make what ever is wrong,right.
It's not easy being a larger person in this world. This world is based on actuarial information that states averages of height and weight and woe betide to those who don't fit those standards. Most car seat belts, seats, and medication dosages are based on these numbers. These are the standard that is waved about like a saving grace to prove the "wrongness" of others. So just because I'm 5'2 1/2" tall I should suffer more injuries in a car accident because I am not 5'4" of the average woman? Or because I am a larger person, I should not be able to wear a seat belt properly because some study says that the average person only needs so many inches of belt? (Or because a greedy car company shortened them to save money and then turns around and sells you that excess as an extender at 4x's the cost of the materials?)
No, it's not easy being. Fat, tall, short, thin. It's not easy. Yet, if I had a chance to be anything but myself, I wouldn't be happy. Is my life going how I would like or how I thought, no. Would I have every chosen to be fat if I had had a choice? At the time, probably not, but now that I have been, I think I would choose it. Why? Because it's what I am, not who I am. I am a nanny, a fantastic girlfriend, a leader, a good listener, an excellent cookie maker, a reader, an "auntie", a great huger,funny,smart and many other things that I am not sure I would have been if I wasn't me.
Being a larger person has taught me not to be too quick to judge others, to be more compassionate to those who need it, to be more understanding, to be patient, that ugly doesn't discriminate, that ignorance is pandemic, and who my friends really are.
I am me, and being me is a pretty wonderful thing.
I know that it is not easy being who we are. Most people, no matter what size they are, have a hard time figuring out who they are and who they want to be. Many wander through life trying on different lifestyles and ideas in an attempt to find themselves, others just don't even try to find one life style, but relish many different ones. There are the few who do know who they are, some from a young age, those who know what they want to do with their lives, the ones who want to be doctors, teachers, lawyers from the age of 3 and up, some because that is what the family tradition is,others it is a personal calling. Some choose to be religious figures like nuns, priests, ministers, etc. Others inventors.
Yet, when you are a person who is different from the start, it can be hard to be anything other than "the fat one", "the gay one", "the nerdy one","the geeky one", etc. Sometimes we can not escape that fact that no matter what we want to be outside of that, we are the "fat lawyer", "the gay doctor", "the nerdy" accountant. We are labeled from day one as being male/female, short, fat, tall, white, black, Asian, German, etc.
I recently posted about a story in Sweden where they are trying to develop a non-gender specific society among the children there to try to keep kids from being locked into gender roles. What I would like to see is a world where these labels are not a part of our lives. Gender roles are also not so good,but I think those come from the labels we have formed in our society over time. Humans seem to have this need to quantify and file every tiny thing, to help us make sense of the world and in many cases justify an injustice by adding "health issue" to it, or "public good", "national security", or other words that seem to make what ever is wrong,right.
It's not easy being a larger person in this world. This world is based on actuarial information that states averages of height and weight and woe betide to those who don't fit those standards. Most car seat belts, seats, and medication dosages are based on these numbers. These are the standard that is waved about like a saving grace to prove the "wrongness" of others. So just because I'm 5'2 1/2" tall I should suffer more injuries in a car accident because I am not 5'4" of the average woman? Or because I am a larger person, I should not be able to wear a seat belt properly because some study says that the average person only needs so many inches of belt? (Or because a greedy car company shortened them to save money and then turns around and sells you that excess as an extender at 4x's the cost of the materials?)
No, it's not easy being. Fat, tall, short, thin. It's not easy. Yet, if I had a chance to be anything but myself, I wouldn't be happy. Is my life going how I would like or how I thought, no. Would I have every chosen to be fat if I had had a choice? At the time, probably not, but now that I have been, I think I would choose it. Why? Because it's what I am, not who I am. I am a nanny, a fantastic girlfriend, a leader, a good listener, an excellent cookie maker, a reader, an "auntie", a great huger,funny,smart and many other things that I am not sure I would have been if I wasn't me.
Being a larger person has taught me not to be too quick to judge others, to be more compassionate to those who need it, to be more understanding, to be patient, that ugly doesn't discriminate, that ignorance is pandemic, and who my friends really are.
I am me, and being me is a pretty wonderful thing.
It's not easy, but it is who I want to be.