Romance Lovers for the Challenge-Impaired discussion
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OMG! September?!?!?! They'll be there that long?! LOL! Just kidding CaroB! My best wishes for your sanity and peace of mind!
Do'h, I meant November. I'll fix it now.
I hope you're on good terms with them , I haven't always been on good terms with my in laws. The first time they visited us it was HELL and they stayed a long long time!(We almost got divorced!!! ) but I've been getting along with them .The last time which was a couple of months ago was pretty good.I wish you sanity and peace of mind too ;)
Good luck, CaroB! I would not be able to stand it if my in-laws stayed with me for any length of time. I have trouble just visiting with my father-in-law. Yet my youngest girls go over there and spend the night with him and Hub's stepmom and they like him. I guess that's all that matters LOL
Sending you love and cyber (((hugs))), CaroB! You're going to need them. LOL!My in-laws came for three months once. O.M.G. LOVED my mother-in-law, but my father-in-law? What can I say, except if you looked up the word "bully" in the dictionary he'd be there with a top hat on.
Wow you two have dificult fathers-in-law! I get along just fine with my father-in-law. It's my mother-in-law that drives me nuts! She keeps making really hurtful things in such sweet tones and of course never within my husband's hearing. I used to try so hard to try to get along with her. Once when my husband and I were still dating she said some pretty ugly and hurtful things to me, when I told him what she said he didn't believe me he thought that I had misunderstood something she said. I talked to my sisters-in-law though; turns out that our mother-in-law is mean to them as well. So I never told my husband of the naty comments and remarks she said, hoping her attitude would change. It never did, I started stressing everytime my husband suggested we visit, and we visited often, they live a 40 minutes away. I suffered in silence for the last five years. Then in August during my nephew's birthday, Ian was playing with some of my nephew's school friends (who are all older than Ian by at least 5 yrs) and Ian got hit in the face with a soccer ball. The kid who had kicked the ball brought my crying son to me explained what happened and apologized. By what they both said it had clearly been an accident. I told the kid not to worry, no real harm was done, Ian's cheek was a bit red and puffy but nothing else.Unfortunately my mother in law heard and very loudly strated to scold me in front of everyone! She said that I was an irresponsible parent because she had told me that Ian couldn't play with those kids. That if I had listened to her Ian would have been fine. She was acting so crazy Ian really started crying.
I was sooo pissed I snapped. I calmly thanked her for her concern and told her that Ian was fine, it was an accident. The only one who was hurting Ian was she with her attitude. I also told her that my mother didn't scold me and hadn't for a long time (my mom passed away 7 yrs ago) so I didn't have to hear her bullshit. I told her that she didn't have to love me not even like me and I didn't really care one way or another but she had to respect me because (1) I have never disrespected her, (2) I was her son's wife, (3) I was her grandson's mother. If she thought that by making these comments in front of people she made me look bad, the joke was on her because everyone there knew me knew and loved me and also knew that she was a nagging bitchy harpy.
With that I picked Ian up and went to the kitchen to find some ice for his face. My sisters-in-law who saw and heard the whole thing started clapping when I came in. My father-in-law took her and left the party early, he was so embarassed. My husband was really pissed on my behalf, he apologized for her behaviour. He was sorryhe hadn't listened to me sooner but that it had never crossed his mind that she could behave that way. Since that day tell my husband everything she says/does. I hadn't realized that my quiet suffering and constatnt stressing about visits put me in a really pissy mood that in turn was affecting my marriage. Things are so much better now, my husband has cut back his visits in half. We are both much happier now!
Now if I my husband suggested they stay with us for 3 months I might threaten with a divorce!
Oh wow that's a huge post!
Gisela wrote: "Oh wow that's a huge post!"Not so huge, Gisela. You held me spellbound, want to find out what happened. All I can say is, "Good for you!" Glad this helped your marriage.
Elishia wrote: "Ha ha omg you guys are scaring me."Not to worry, Elishia. Some in-laws are great.
Hahaha now I stick to my husband like glue whenever she's around. I avoid being lone with her like the plague!
Lisa Kay wrote: "Elishia wrote: "Ha ha omg you guys are scaring me."Not to worry, Elishia. Some in-laws are great."
That's true Elishia! My brother's father in law also happens to be my husband's godfather. He's known my inlaws ever since they were all in high school together. He's been very supportive through the rough patches in my marriage. (looking back I realize they all started with my mother in law!) That man is awesome! He and his wife treat my son like a grandson and me like another daughter.
Yay for you, Gisela! I don't know that I would have done it. I would have probably just left. I do everything I can to avoid the father-in-law. When the girls go, I send the older ones to pick up and drop off. I've even gone so far as to just sit in the car while Hubs visits. I don't care if it seems rude. Thankfully, mother-in-law lives in Louisiana and we rarely see her. There have been times when she has come up to visit and hasn't even told Hubs she was coming. We'd found out from other family.
Elishia, I hope that my next set of in-laws will be better ;)
Susan (susayq) wrote: "Elishia, I hope that my next set of in-laws will be better ;)"Whoa. Babe.
Lisa Kay wrote: "Susan (susayq) wrote: "Elishia, I hope that my next set of in-laws will be better ;)"Whoa. Babe."
I know that's I thought I wasn't sure how to respond, hope you're ok Susan.x
Not to worry, Elishia. Some in-laws are great."That's true Elishia! My brother's father in law also happens to be my husband..."
I know there are some decent ones. Although my mum still can't get rid of hers and she's been divorced over 15 years I think.
Things in my world are a bit strained and have been for a good long while. I am trying to find a job that will support me and the girls (for the most part cause I'd get child support) and then I'm filing. At this point I'm not even against moving away from where we live if it would mean a guaranteed job.
Aah sorry to here that but as long as you'll be happier in the end that's all that matters. Its so difficult your side because you have to pay for doctors and hospitals whereas here you don't so its not so bad being a single parent (my mum was one but there's only 2 of us).
Susan (susayq) wrote: "Things in my world are a bit strained and have been for a good long while. I am trying to find a job that will support me and the girls (for the most part cause I'd get child support) and then I'm ..."Sorry to hear that Susan. Sending lots of love and (((hugs))) your way!
thanks, ladies :)
Elishia wrote: "Although my mum still can't get rid of hers and she's been divorced over 15 years I think."15 years! Eep! Crazy world, isn't it?
Susan (susayq) wrote: "Things in my world are a bit strained and have been for a good long while..."Cyber (((Hugs))) to you, Susan!
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thanks, Lisa Kay :)
My in-laws are nice to me, I just don't like visiting 'em because every time we do, my guy turns from a caring, nice, quiet guy into a loudmouthed, obnoxious drunken idiot. For example, last year we went down to stay a week for hunting season to my sister-in-laws. Well, we're all hanging out in the garage (because that's all they ever freakin' do) and I'm having a couple of drinks, but not too many as the kid's with us, and all the rest of 'em are pounding beers. My brother-in-law says hey! Let's go for a ride in the Mule through the woods. It's November, and like freezing cold outside. So we go, and he comes to this swampy area and there's a fishing bobber stuck in some brush (during the warm months I guess the water's higher in this spot and people can fish) and they all tell my guy, hey go get that. So he goes out on a log over this nasty cold water, and as he's reaching for it, they honk the horn, he falls in, everyone thinks it's just freakin' hilarious. Me, I'm like, why are you guys so stupid! I mean, they just get him wasted, and he's like a 12 year old, can't resist peer pressure, they say go out and moon that cop, and he'd probably do it. When they're not around, he's awesome, but get him around his brothers and it just devolves into idiocy. And loud idiocy at that, imagine a packed sports bar on Super Bowl Sunday cheering their team on, and then turn it up to eleven, and that's how loud these dweebs are. I dread these visits because it's like I'm taking care of a daycare full of drunken pre-adolescents laughing at their farts. Ugh. I'm looking forward to when we move out of state someday, because we're too poor to be flying to visit, and if I have my way, we'll be too far away to drive comfortably, and I know for a fact that they're all too poor to be flying or driving long distances. So that'll cut back on that. :D
So it's Sunday night here and my first chance to get on the computer since the in-laws arrived. So far this weekend has been good, but I worked all day yesterday and then took my daughter to a birthday party, so not sure if Saturday counts as time spent with the in-laws. My husband has already had a head-banging-against-a-wall moment when his father was driving him nuts, so at least it's not just me that gets stressed out by their visit...It's been an eye-opener reading some of your comments above. Susan, I feel for you hun, I really do. I've been in a similar position. It's not an easy thing to be able to say, or an easy decision to come to. I wish for you the best way forward, whatever that may be... that the means and the path will make themselves available and visible to you and that your strength and sense of self and purpose guide you and your daughters through the tough times. Big hugs to you, hun!
Kit★ wrote: "...because every time we do, my guy turns from a caring, nice, quiet guy into a loudmouthed, obnoxious drunken idiot..."Yeah, why to guys do that? Weird. When all my brothers-in-law get together they don't shower. And they think it is funny to be stinky. WTH? I mean, these guys are clean-guy, well dressed men...but that all goes to pot. I certainly don't want to hug any of them.
Aw... CaroB, such great words. You're making me tear up. Seriously. **more big (((HUGS))) to Susan**
*sniffle* I'm tearing up myself. Thank you for those lovely words, CaroB. Kit, didn't you know... Men + alcohol = stupidity ;)
Lol! Yea, stinky is not good at all, especially when there's more than one of 'em in the room!
Kit★ wrote: "...especially when there's more than one of 'em in the room!"Definitely! LOL! I hope your guy didn't get pneumonia. Geez.
They also do it as a contest...to see who can go the longest without one...or who can get the "ripest." Really disgusting.
And...they think it is funny. Men.
Haha I like my husband a little drunk , he gets funny and so lovey dovey . but yeah men get stupid when they drink too much together .I have a friend (a girl) she does stupid stuff when she gets even a little bit tipsy. I usually avoid having any kind of drinks with her.
Lisa Kay wrote: "They also do it as a contest...to see who can go the longest without one...or who can get the "ripest." Really disgusting."Lol never heard anything like that!
Crazy, right?I do like a drunk that get "lovey dovey" when he gets to drinking. My husband was like that, too. Thank the Lord.
Nah, I think all the alcohol in his blood kept him warm, or at least kept him from feeling it, lol. Men indeed... (said with a growl) :D
Thank heaven the men in my family don't drink! LOL!
My hubby hardly ever drinks more than a beer at a time, but when he does, he is unintentionally hilarious. And randy! That combination works well for me ;-)
OK, another send off for us, this time for about 10 days while we visit some relatives in Sydney. We leave at 4am tomorrow morning and drive 14 hours with 3 kids in the back seat. Thankfully we've gotten a dvd player for the headrests, so we'll have some moments of peace :-)I'll be checking in through my phone, but can never guarantee how much I'll be able to participate so wanted to take this opportunity to wish everyone a Merry Christmas, a relaxed holiday season, a happy time for reading and catching up with loved ones!!
See you all in 2013 :-)
Same to you, CaroB! Be careful and have fun!
Save Journey, CaroB! And Merry Christmas!
Have fun :)Merry Christmas and happy new year !
You too CaroB have a lovely Christmas
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I'll be trying to check in on my phone, but it can be a little bit limiting as far as bookcovers go. I'll be back to normal (or as normal as it gets in my household!) at the end of November. So just wanted to say an early "Happy Thanksgiving" to everyone!! Hope you are able to have some good laughs and great food!