Virgin Mary in a MRI/Mormons/Sally's reign begins/David in Condiments

[Sally, la reina]

Woot woot!

[Félix]

Well done!

[Meen]

yippee!

[Sarah]

Larry, way to jump to conclusions:
In 1932, Best Foods bought out the Hellmann's brand. By then both mayonnaises had such commanding market shares in their respective halves of the country that the company decided that both brands and recipes be preserved. To this day:

Best Foods Mayonnaise is only sold west of the Rocky Mountains, specifically, in or west of Montana, Wyoming, Colorado, and New Mexico.
Hellmann's is sold east of the Rockies, specifically, in or east of North Dakota, South Dakota, Nebraska, Kansas, Oklahoma, and Texas.

I've always thought the whole company should change its name to Best Foods, because the slogan makes more sense that way. "Bring out the Hellmann's and bring out the best." "Bring out the Best Foods, and bring out the best."

Yay for Sally!

[Félix]

Jumping to ridiculous conclusions is one of my best traits, I'll have you know.

It's just a habit in Utah. If it's weird, it must be because of ....

But I don't really subscribe to that. Not really. :)

[Sally, la reina]

Where did the mayo connection come from? I'm confused. But also, strangely, hungry for a BLT now.

So in the East do they run the commercial with the same song but substituting "Hellmann's"?

Weird.

Also, I grew up with Miracle Whip and never knew that there was this adamant camp who opposes the use of any thing but the real, live mayo. Really?

[Sarah]

My husband uses Miracle Whip. Gross. I'm not a big fan of mayo, either, but I prefer it to Miracle Whip.

[[deleted user]]

Miracle whip has a different taste to it. I prefer mayo if I have to use one.

[[deleted user]]

I hate miracle whip. Mayonnaise is one of my favorite foods.

(David is gagging, but it's payback for all his potty talk).

[Meen]

I love mayo, too, Tambo, and I hate Miracle Whip. It's too tart.

Sally, somewhere back in the Mormor part of the thread Larry speculated that Hellman's was Best Foods in Utah because Mormon's didn't want something with "hell" in the title.

Oh gawd, I haven't had a BLT in a long time! Mmmmmm!

[Sally, la reina]

Hmmm, I really can't discern a difference between the two. Interesting.

[Félix]

Yes, yes, I speculated. Then someone dashed my little fantasy to pieces. Hmmmph.

Sally, there is a very big difference. Try them side by side and you'll see.

Yeah here's one of those sweeping generalizations: people from the south like mayo on just about everything.

[Sarah]

My North Carolinian family members put mayo on broccoli. I only like mayo in some sort of salad (potato salad, crab salad, egg salad) or for dipping artichoke leaves (and even then it's never plain mayo).

[Jackie "the Librarian"]

Miracle Whip is sweeter than mayo, because it has sugar in it. Or corn syrup. Whatever.
Yuck.

[[deleted user]]

Mayonnaise is disgusting, satanic, and should be abolished.

(Miracle Whip, too.)

It's just morally wrong to like it.

[Jackie "the Librarian"]

It's sinful to emulsify? Who knew?

[[deleted user]]

I thought you were an upstanding woman, Jacks... You've probably been eating chicken salad your whole life... Oh, the humanity!

[[deleted user]]

The other night I was hungry and didn't have much. I chopped up a carrot and some celery and parsley and then mixed in a little mayonnaise. It was amazing! I've been thinking of it ever since.

[[deleted user]]

Yes, I know that I'm white trash.

[Jackie "the Librarian"]

I don't think a carrot/celery salad makes you white trash, Sarah.

[Jackie "the Librarian"]

I don't think white trash eat many vegetables, for one thing.

[[deleted user]]

When I was younger, I used to eat meals composed exclusively of...

...canned corn mixed with sour cream...

...or bread dipped in Kraft Catalina salad dressing...

...or American "cheese" slices wrapped around pickles.

[[deleted user]]

You're so wrong, Jackie.

[[deleted user]]

*barfs*

Not green bean casserole!

[Jackie "the Librarian"]

I love that someone found the Green Bean Casserole worthy of a photo!

[Meen]

And that's certainly an exemplary one!

[[deleted user]]

A lot of them showed up on Google Images, Jackie.

[[deleted user]]

David, I love your childhood snacks! Did you ever make a bread ball where you took the crust off the bread and squeezed it into a ball of deliciousness that you could eat like an apple?

[Sally, la reina]

My dad used to make me a snack that consisted of two pieces of bread slathered with butter and sprinkled with white sugar.

[Jackie "the Librarian"]

I used to eat ketchup sandwiches.

[[deleted user]]

I do not like ketchup. Or ranch dressing.

[[deleted user]]

You don't like ketchup????? What's wrong with you, Montambeau????? And here I thought you were a sensible woman! Do you at least like catsup?

(Ranch dressing is white trash dressing. So I agree with you there.)

[[deleted user]]

I don't like ketchup/catsup either, but hand me the white trash dressing.

[Sally, la reina]

I don't like katchup either. I think it comes from working in restaurants for years and having to marry the bottles day after day. The smell. The gush. The consistency.


Ew.

[[deleted user]]

I want to roll around naked in ketchup.

In fact, I think I will...

[Sarah]

I like ketchup but not catsup. I only like restaurant ranch dressing because it tastes different than the stuff you buy at the store.

I used to eat similar snacks. Two pieces of white bread with a slice of American cheese in the center (cold, not grilled) was a common sandwich in my house.

Apples and peanut butter... yum. In fact, I may have that tonight!

Mr. Rogers once wrapped a slice of American cheese around a banana. I thought it looked just disgusting enough to try. It's delicious.

[Sarah]

Sally, maybe the topic should be "Virgin Mary in a MRI/Mormons/Sally's reign begins/condiments"

[Sally, la reina]

This thread is flexing my gag reflex.

[Félix]

Where did it start? With the banana/miracle whip/peanut concoction?

[Sarah]

David rolling around naked in condiments is making you want to gag?

[Sally, la reina]

first I imagined him rolling around in Miracle Whip, then ketcup. This has gotten very (insert nasty sexual term) all of a sudden.

[Sarah]

If he rolls around naked in Miracle Whip and then in ketchup, he'd be pink.

[Sally, la reina]

What if he just stood still naked and you threw wads of ketchup at him and I threw wads of mayo? That might make him more streakey. Or perhaps we could let the mayo set before he rolled in the ketchup.

[Sarah]

If he's naked, he's already "streaky." Like, a streaker. Hee.

[Sally, la reina]

ah. streaky. It is never, ever a good idea to ignore spell check.

[Jackie "the Librarian"]

Forget the ketchup, ladies. I propose a "David Croquette" - David, dipped in Miracle Whip, then rolled in peanuts.

And don't worry, David. I have an epi-pen handy in case you have a peanut allergy, and go into anaphylactic shock.
;)

[Sarah]

Ooh, Jacks, now that sounds tasty. ;)

[Sally, la reina]

its like David Arquette, but nastier!

[Jackie "the Librarian"]

Sally: its like David Arquette, but nastier!

And much funnier, and better dressed, too!

[Kim]

I'm sorry, I thought this was appropriate here. Apparently J and his mom get around.

The Jesus and Virgin Mary World Tour
Recent Public Appearances: Arkansas City, Kan., September (Jesus on the ceiling of the One Stop Body Shoppe weight-loss clinic). Pittsburg, Texas, August (Jesus on the body of a moth). Goshen, Ind., July (Jesus in the facial fur of the family cat). High Ridge, Mo., July (Jesus on a Cheeto). Arlington, Texas, September (Mary on a grape). Pompano Beach, Fla., November (Jesus on a slice of French toast). Gulf Shores, Ala., September (Jesus in the drywall of a home under construction).


edit: Sorry to sway the condiment talk. ;)