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Life (Non-college/book talk)
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message 51:
by
Tahleen
(new)
Apr 08, 2009 08:10PM
If you take it out of context she sounds like a crazy person. No, I take that back--she just sounds like a crazy person.
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I feel like I've learned how not to be a parent by working in retail. It's good training.
But your children will never act like that if you give them books instead of letting them watch tv. :)
well how many parents give their childern books instead of TV, oh wait one, Madonna she doesnt let her kids watch tv, at all which is good i guess
I just plan to have movies and no cable.
Tahleen, I learned how not to be a parent by being a nanny/babysitter. Oh goodness have I learned a lot!
Mod
I haven't nannyed, but I have five siblings and nine and a half nieces and nephews.
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David, how do you have nine and a half neices or nephews?
David, is the half in the womb?I get super bogged down during the school year with athletics and work so my parents help financially, but I've had 2 summer jobs as a park ranger. One was at Wind Cave National Park and the otehr at Grand Teton National Park. When you give cave tours all day, you get interesting stories, but the funniest was once when I turned off the lights in the cave and some man turned to his wife and said, "Honey, you're beautiful." It took me several minutes to gain my composure. In the Tetons we had this one program that we always put on in the auditorium, and once my coworker/roommate snuck into the projector room during my program and using stuffed animals from the gift shop which chased each other and what not.
Yeah, my sister in Egypt is expecting her second.
Awww that's exciting. I want my brother to tie the knot and have kids some day, cause I want nieces and nephews.
Haha ME TOO. I tell both my brothers that.
Haha I want to tie the knot and have kids now, although it's probably not the best time. I feel like my biological clock is already ticking hardcore, and I'm only 21!
In many ways I know I'm not mature enough to raise a child right now. I feel like one of my roommates last summer would have been totally ready to raise a kid because she was very responsible, but she was also Catholic so and single so that cleraly wasn't going to happen any time soon.
I'm never having kids. It'll be wonderful.
:) that's funny...Yeah, I don't think I'm gonna have kids either, at least not my own. Maybe I'll adopt someday, I don't know. There are a lot of kids that don't have homes, so that seems like a good thing to do if I ever change my mind. I don't really know though...it'll also depend on what my future husband/boyfriend/whatever :) wants, too.
Matthew, do you have siblings? Sometimes I feel guilty that I don't want to have kids because that means my mom will only have grandkids if my brother has them. Do you ever feel like that?
Right, I totally agree...people are always really surprised when I say I don't really want to have kids, but I don't feel the need to 'duplicate' myself, or pass on the family line, or whatever other reason. I know that's not how a lot of people look at it, but I just don't have the need. My mom is very supportive of my decision, so I really shouldn't feel guilty, but sometimes it just slips in...Everyone feels societal pressures in some area, unfortunately, but I guess I escaped this one...
:::wiping my brow:::
The thing is... I get why other people want, or feel the need, to have kids...I just don't have it.
Haha, it's okay, Mandee. I think you're good. : ) A good thing about all our societal advances is that we can afford to be apathetic about reproduction if we choose. I kind of feel you, and until recently, I always said the same, without qualms. But my memories are starting to point out that a lot of things I've said I'd never do have been done, so. I'm not so sure I can say now what/where/who I'll be five years from now.
The person I am at this very minute, for SURE, is NOT ready for children
Mod
I have 2 nieces and 2 nephews and as far as my brother and I are concerned that is all the grandchildren my mom is going to have. They are also my kids, if I want them, I go get them, then I can give them back when I am tired of them. :) Probably not the same thing, but close enough for me!
I also don't plan on getting married, so it shouldn't be a problem for anyone else either.
Where have you guys been my whole life?! I've finally found my people! Hee hee. No really, my whole life I've been surrounded by people who couldn't wait to have kids, and even though I love kids, I've never wanted to have my own.
Yeah, I agree, Nools. Mine's not really apathy (okay, maybe a little)...I was kinda going for dry sarcasm, but it's a little harder to make that come across through type than if I was actually saying it (for me at least....I'm not a gifted writer). I'm with you on the saying you'll never do things and then doing them, too...which is kinda why I say, if for some reason, I change my mind I'd really rather adopt than birth my own :) Because you're absolutely right, I don't really know how I'll change in the next five years or so.
I'm with you Tami, I don't feel the need to get married, either. I'm mean, I'll never say never, but I'm not the kind of person who likes attention (so that would kinda make the wedding day ackward) or needs to have a contract to confirm my commitment, so, ... eh. Maybe someday, who knows, I'll be so in love that I won't be able to help myself...(: Hahaa
Matthew, thanks for making me feel better about my personal choice :)
Haha I find it interesting that nobody here wants to have kids but me. For some reason, I've always just wanted to be a mom. I've always felt like being a parent was my purpose in life. It's not that I feel the need to duplicate myself or pass on the family line...it's basically just a part of who I am. I'm very motherly. My family is very close, and family has always been a very big and important part of my life, so it seems natural that I'd want to create a family of my own.
I actually do want kids, but not for a very long while. I appreciate my family very much, and I would love to have a fmaily of my own and people that I could help grow and mature.
Mod
Wow! Have we gotten off topic or what? :)
I want to have kids. I am also pretty sure I will have kids whether I get married or not... whether through adoption or artificial insemination or what. I just really would like to be a mother. Though I've been thinking, and I am not sure how I'd handle having more than one daughter haha. It comes with growing up with two brothers and no sisters I suppose. But I'll take what I get regardless.
I go back and forth between wanting to get married and have a family and not... Pretty much my whole life I said I didn't want to get married and have kids (and this was from like late elementary school till like last year). But who knows.. I mean, if I meet the right person then sure I'm open to it. (I've also toyed with the idea of being a nun. I'm keeping all my options open! haha)But Tahleen, your post reminded me... I'm a little afraid of being a mom just b/c there's so much responsibility.. but I would be even more terrified if I had boys! I don't have any brothers and I just don't know how I would deal with them and explain things to them.
My sister keeps getting after me to get married. Her kids want cousins their age, she says. :P I'm just waiting for my Jane Eyre to come along.
Hehe, I guess it's just what you're used to! Boys I can handle--it's girls I'm terrified of (when it comes to me being responsible for them and their fights and all that jazz). Being a girl is hard enough.
growing up is hard enough! and I don't know if I really want to re-live all that.. I mean childhood is fine, but puberty? young adulthood? yikes!!I have a friend getting married this June and I'm already ready for her to start having babies! haha. I want to be the fun "aunt" who brings cool presents. I have seen so much cool stuff on craftster that I have mentally noted. And I have a feeling the first one will be a boy. I haven't mentioned any of this to her b/c I know how creepy it sounds! haha. "You're going to have a baby boy and I'm going to make this really cool plaything for him that I saw on craftster."
I forget where I saw/heard this, I think it was some cartoon or comic or something, but it was a kid who said they wanted to go straight to being a grandparent because grandparents get to have all the fun and are more interesting. Or something.
I defiantly do not want children any time soon. My two best friends in town have kids and I love them but I can tell how much work they are...and yes I'm a little selfish. Both are single mothers so I suppose it would be different with a husband but I don't have one of those either. I'm content to be an aunt to their kids along with my brothers 2 kids. Being the cool aunt is way better than responsibility.
I wouldn't say you're being selfish for not wanting kids, especially if you're young. That's a pretty normal thing... like, I want kids, but not right now.
I also am enjoying how completely off the topic we've gone lol
I'm 25...so not quite young but there is still time if I change my mind.
Kelsey, you sound like the kind of person that makes a very good parent...and not the kind of person I'm referring to with my horrible, sarcastic humor. Sorry if I made you feel bad...I was worried that might happen. I don't think everyone has kids for those reasons, but I definitely think it happens, and when it does, I think it's so sad. I wish more people who had kids felt the way you do because it would probably take care of some of the problems in our society. Tami, I thought my family was huge! We usually only have around 35 at the holidays (just one side of the family). My dad's side of the family live in a different state, and we wouldn't get together at the same time anyway (huge on that side too, maybe bigger). It probably contributed to my feelings about needing to have kids as well...
Tahleen, I actually had to check the title for the thread when you guys pointed that out! I love it!
Don't worry about it! You didn't make me feel bad at all. Some people do want to have kids for those reasons I'm sure.And Tami: holy cow! You have a huge family!
haha wow..i'll get us back on topic.. lolI got a part time job recently at a bookstore in my town. I'm liking it so far. It's not a very busy bookstore but I love it..but it's been bad on my bank account..I can't stop buying books.
Yay for bookstore jobs! I'm sure you'll continue loving it, although it can be very expensive. Haha.
that was the great thing about working at a library... I would always end up with wayyy too many books, but it was always free!
Over the past four and a half years of working at Barnes and Noble I have probably spent a small fortune on a large collection of books, many of which have yet to be read. Good luck to you on that front haha.
I'm really enjoying reading everyones work stories!
But to revert to the diverted topic for one minute, Anna, you are not being selfish by not wanting to have kids. its great hearing peoples perspectives on kids/not having kids/marraige/not getting married. I dunno...I never want to biologically have a kid, and I don't think I will ever want to adopt one either. And even more importantly than that, I am NEVER getting married. Not in a zillion years. Beyound my political/non-religious beliefs on marraige, I just don't think marraige is needed to validate a relationship. Fair enough if other people want to get married and/or have kids though.
Work stories...I worked as a waitress last year for a while...there were big jugs of milk on all of the tables. One day an old man sat down at the table and banged his elbow into the jug of milk, where it went all over this woman, who was wearing a very fancy dress! I've never struggled so hard to keep a straight face in my life!
But to revert to the diverted topic for one minute, Anna, you are not being selfish by not wanting to have kids. its great hearing peoples perspectives on kids/not having kids/marraige/not getting married. I dunno...I never want to biologically have a kid, and I don't think I will ever want to adopt one either. And even more importantly than that, I am NEVER getting married. Not in a zillion years. Beyound my political/non-religious beliefs on marraige, I just don't think marraige is needed to validate a relationship. Fair enough if other people want to get married and/or have kids though.
Work stories...I worked as a waitress last year for a while...there were big jugs of milk on all of the tables. One day an old man sat down at the table and banged his elbow into the jug of milk, where it went all over this woman, who was wearing a very fancy dress! I've never struggled so hard to keep a straight face in my life!
Mod
I worked in a bookstore my Freshman year. Everytime I got the urge to buy a chocolate bar, I picked up the candy and then thought, "Hmmmm....I can buy this or a Dover Thrift book". I own a lot of Dover thrift books.
Hahahaha, thats hilarious David!
I bought two Dover Thrift books today. A collection of short stories by Oscar Wilde and a collection of famous speeches by Native Americans.
Mod
yay Tami!!! :)
Just to clarify, I don't think I'm selfish for not wanting kids (there are plenty of selfish people who want kids for attention, no one here just some people). I think I'm selfish because I don't want to devote any of my time to another being and I'm really ok with that. I'm also very single partially for the same reason. As for work I was gone last week and several of my customers have commented on how nice it is to have me back. It's a small thing but it makes me feel appreciated.
Currently I am just a student since working overseas requires too much paperwork. However, in the past I've worked as a cash office associate/cashier, etc at TJ Maxx, worked in two different law offices and also worked as a receptionist and general go-to gal for an accountant. My worst horror stories come from working in retail though. Just reading through this thread has inspired me to write some of them down in my journal & blog to laugh at later on down the road.
One of the worst experiences I had was when I was fairly new at TJ Maxx. They had deemed me as the fitting room attendant, so I basically cleaned up the unwanted clothes and organized stuff.
People were constantly coming in, so I have no idea who did it, but there was a stench coming from one of the stalls on the men's side....and come to find out that someone had taken a DUMP in the freaking stall. WTFFFFFFFFF was my response. We had bathrooms in the store so it's not like the person had to walk a mile to relieve himself. My manager asked me to clean it up, but I refused on the grounds that it wasn't in my job description and you don't pay me enough to put up with that crap (pun intended).
