Stigma

[1luvbooks]

I didn't love this book. It was a decent read, sure, and the format was clever, but it had none of the depth or heart I enjoy, and that I find in my most favourite books. That being said, I am getting annoyed by all the "Hannah didn't try hard enough to live"s and the perennial victim blaming, "She didn't have a good enough reason to kill herself." (Read: she was just a whiny attention getter). This bothers me. Maybe I'm taking this the wrong way, but it seems like these people are saying that others are not allowed to have these feelings unless they have a good enough reason to. It's just more stigmatization, and it just makes things that much harder for people who do suffer from these feelings. On top of everything else, they have a guilt complex (or a worse one) for even being suicidal, and then they may be even less likely to get help, and they may kill themselves, and then the same comments are made and someone else gets a guilt complex...and it's a whole cycle. If people don't like the book, that's fine. I don't even like it that much, like I said, but I think complaining about Hannah's reasons, and the perpetual "suicidal people are selfish" is not helping anyone. It's probably hurting someone, actually. Or, that's what I think. What's your take on this?

[Molly]

I think people usually associate suicidal feelings with extreme situations like the death of a spouse or long time boyfriend/girlfriend, being bullied really badly, doing something bad and trying to escape it, extreme pressure and stress, etc. I don't think a lot of people realize that being in that state of mind is an illness.

Depression can make even small things seem like mountains, and when those small things keep piling up and keep happening it can get so over whelming that it pushes someone over the edge. So while failing a class may seem like a really stupid thing to kill yourself over, but it could just be the straw that broke the camel's back.

I also hate the whole "Suicidal people are selfish" thing. I think it's incredibly selfish to think like that. Suicidal people are sick, and they need help. They don't a need a lecture about how they're bad people who only think of themselves.

My biggest issue with this book wasn't so much Hannah's reason for killing herself, but more the idea behind the tapes at all. They make it seem like killed herself to get back at those people. And even worse, she completely goes against her own message of thinking about what others are going through before you treat them badly. She basically tells those people "Hey, you're one of the reasons I killed myself, you're a horrible person. " without even thinking about what those people themselves are going through. The kind of guilt that would cause someone would be unimaginable. Had I been told that in high school, considering how dark my time in high school was, I probably would killed myself.

[Scott]

Molly wrote: "I also hate the whole "Suicidal people are selfish" thing. I think it's incredibly selfish to think like that."

Agreed. To twist someone's death around and make it about oneself...unbelievable. But I suspect a lot of these people are just parroting back slogans they heard in health class, or from some guidance counselor. Maybe when they've had a little more life experience, they'll understand.

[Vaughn]

I loved the book for the message which i think many people fail to realize. In my opinion, and that of what the author himself mentioned, the book was NOT about the suicide itself. In fact it was about how actions and words can hurt someone. It was about how someone can reach a breaking point and essentially, well, break. One can not say that someone in selfish because of how they feel or what they do in response to those feelings. So I agree with all of you on that point.

[Christina]

Molly wrote: "The kind of guilt that would cause someone would be unimaginable.Had I been told that in high school, considering how dark my time in high school was, I probably would killed myself.
"

Agree with you Molly.

I must say i wasnt a big fan of this book. But it made me think that this is how the new generation is comming out to be. No one thinks twice about what the other person is already going through whether it be the bully or the one being bullied. People think they can just keep it all in and be strong not ever letting anyone they know around them what is truly going on and then one day they just hit that dead end. I was half expecting hannah to come out of hiding after the tapes had been finished to make them all see how it feels through her eyes. But to know she really did die if i got one of those tapes i probably would follow hannah i couldnt live with myself after knowing i had a part in her death.

[nine]

i agree. You make a very good points.

[Library Lady 📚]

I agree with what some others have said here. Blaming other people for your suicide is plain horrible! She says no one stopped to think how these little things they did affected her. Then she goes and does a HUGE thing by basically saying "You're the reason I killed myself. Deal with that, sucker!" and never thinks how that would effect those people. I could not believe she put the girl who got raped on the tapes! Talk about something being the straw that broke the camel's back. Did she never stop to think what that girl might be going through and think, maybe I shouldn't tell her she's the reason I killed myself? A lot of people around her would probably have blamed themselves already and didn't need her to say it. I think that is an unspeakably horrible thing to do.

Also, the way she spoke on the tapes did not sound like someone depressed in my opinion. I suffered pretty severe depression in high school, and I never sounded as chipper as Hannah. The whole time I was reading, I couldn't believe how sickeningly gleeful she sounded about making those tapes and imagining the people getting them. So, in short, I didn't think the author depicted a person with depression in a way that made me relate to her or believe she was depressed. So that's what bothered me. She wasn't selfish for killing herself, she was selfish for not thinking about how the tapes would affect other people's lives. And the way she sounded so smug about getting revenge on all those people really bothered me. I think it sends a terrible message to people going through tough situations like that. Like, Hey, if you're pissed at people, just kill yourself to get back at them, then they'll really be sorry.

[Sam]

I also thought that Hannah involving Clay was terrible. Clay went through such emotional and mental impact listening to those tapes - when he wasn't even a reason, as she said so herself. That's cruel. Why would you put him in such a fix, Hannah?
Agree also with Lena. It seemed more like revenge, as if she was hoping she would now haunt all those people's lives.