Writing Passionates discussion

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message 1: by ★Azhley★ (new)

★Azhley★ (azhlizzle) | 25 comments This is the prologue to my first story The Dazzling Imperfections of Love:

Zoey groaned as she flipped through the calendar in the kitchen, it was around that time of the month. The one thing she wish would stop when becoming a vampire is the menstrual periods. She felt nauseated and lightheaded; she rubbed on her slightly bloated belly. She doubled over in pain as she vomited in the trash can just below the calendar. She vomited up part of the blood she had eaten last night. Zoey thought this unusual a started to panic not knowing what was wrong with her; she decided to not to tell Phillip. When she turned around she saw Phillip staring at her with a look of horror on his beautiful face. Phillip's eyes became soft as the tears began to fill his eyes. The vampire stared at him bewildered not knowing what was going on. Suddenly, she felt a tiny nudge in her stomach it felt like she had butterfly's floating around in her. Zoey gasped in horror finally understanding why he was crying, a huge lump raised in her throat and her hot tears burned her as they slid slowly down her smooth face. Phillip walked to her holding her close in his warm arms as Zoey buried her head in his shoulders sobbing her silent tears.


message 2: by Sella, ov vey! i haven't checked this group in months. >< (last edited Feb 25, 2009 02:18AM) (new)

Sella Malin | 4530 comments Mod
sounds a bit like breaking dawn...


message 3: by Brigid ✩ (new)

Brigid ✩ | 5857 comments Mod
yeah ... actually a lot like breaking dawn. it's well-written though.


message 4: by ★Azhley★ (new)

★Azhley★ (azhlizzle) | 25 comments but mine is different because i am the vampire and he is only part plus my ending is totally different from breaking dawn


message 5: by Brigid ✩ (new)

Brigid ✩ | 5857 comments Mod
okay, cool


message 6: by Brigid ✩ (new)

Brigid ✩ | 5857 comments Mod
what?


message 7: by Sella, ov vey! i haven't checked this group in months. >< (new)

Sella Malin | 4530 comments Mod
..??


Xerxes Break(Vivian Ephona) (ephona) So about prologues, are they better long or short?


message 9: by Brigid ✩ (new)

Brigid ✩ | 5857 comments Mod
shorter ones catch my attention, usually


message 10: by [deleted user] (new)

idk . . . prologues are hard for me sometimes. . . I had 2 different prologues for Fyre, but ended up just adding it as chatper 1.


message 11: by Paige (new)

Paige Miller That sounded A LOT like BD. No offense, but, yeah.


message 12: by Riley (new)

Riley (booksarecool) I think they should be about a page or two shorter than your chapters...


message 13: by Brigid ✩ (new)

Brigid ✩ | 5857 comments Mod
yeah ... cuz they're supposed to introduce the story, but they're not necessarily PART of the story. like, you could take away the prologue, but the story would still make sense.


message 14: by Veronica, What the neck!? (new)

Veronica (v_a_b) | 2889 comments Mod
but it won't be as good.

You know what I like to do? I like to go back and read the prologue when things are starting to come to a close in a story, or after the story has ended. Because when you read a prologue initially, it never makes sense. But after the book is over, it makes a whole lot of sense. And oftentimes, it's quite creepy.


message 15: by Riley (new)

Riley (booksarecool) Yesireebob. Especially if it's the next book in the series, like in Twilight. Cause you would think you would know what was going to happen, and sometimes your prediction was right, but usually not.


message 16: by Kenzie (new)

Kenzie | 2838 comments I dunno if my prologues are like that. Normally I just don't want to tell you something in the story and use the prologue to tell you it.


message 17: by Veronica, What the neck!? (new)

Veronica (v_a_b) | 2889 comments Mod
It works that way too.

Often, it is years before the story starts, or an event at the end of the story. But other times it is just a setup.


message 18: by Sella, ov vey! i haven't checked this group in months. >< (new)

Sella Malin | 4530 comments Mod
I like prologues...they draw you in and make you want to read the book. And I agree, they should be shorter than your regular chapters. As for what Roni said, about going back to prologues close to the endings of books, doing that was cool with the twilight series, coz they're all about something happening towards the end, but you don't know what. Like, for example, the prologue for twilight, I always thought the "hunter" was Edward, but then I only realized it was James when the whole fiasco after the baseball game started...yeah, stuff like that is cool.

Usually, when I write prologues, they're about stuff that happened in the past, many years ago or something, and/or that are in the view of a different character than the main/showing different characters than the main. Basically, most of my prologues are showing things that you couldn't have seen in the MC's view. For example, the prologue for outcast, you see lavender's mother giving lavender to her father, and then in star soul you see the stars making the mistake, sixteen years ago...yeah. I'm sort of rambling right now. I'll stop now. :D


message 19: by Brigid ✩ (new)

Brigid ✩ | 5857 comments Mod
yeah i get what you mean ... it's good to start off w/something mysterious so the reader's like "what? i don't get it! i have to READ MORE!!!"


message 20: by [deleted user] (new)

HEY I GOT A PROLOGUE!!


I never really knew what death was like.
I never really searched for death either. It just came.
I never realy understood death, but now I do.
Now that I know, I don't want to die. And yet I am only inches away from it.
Time is ticking. What do I do during my last minutes of life?
I run, for a few more years of life.


message 21: by [deleted user] (new)

short, but I like it!


message 22: by Brigid ✩ (new)

Brigid ✩ | 5857 comments Mod
wow! i love it!!!!


message 23: by [deleted user] (new)

thanks!


message 24: by Kenzie (new)

Kenzie | 2838 comments Awesome! What story is that for?


message 25: by [deleted user] (new)

A new one. I'm calling it W.R.K.R. The Warner The Rescuer, The Killer, and the Resurrecter.


message 26: by Kenzie (new)

Kenzie | 2838 comments That's cool. What's the storyline? A synopsis, I mean.


message 27: by [deleted user] (new)

It's about this guy named Haden who accidentally falls upon death, but doesn't want to die. So he's trying to escape death, (the killer), but the killer gets preturbed about it. He thinks that everyone should die. So when the Warner, Rescuer and Resurrecter step in to help save all the innocents from death, the killer messes with fate so that he's killing everyone that crosses his path. But he really wants Haden, because he keeps running away.
It's kinda scratchy, but that's about the best I've got so far.


message 28: by Kenzie (new)

Kenzie | 2838 comments That sounds really cool. Have you gotten any of it written? If you do post it, I'd love to read it. ☺

Well, you don't have to. But if you do I'll read it.


message 29: by [deleted user] (new)

yeah, i've got a little written, i just need to put it up. here. i'll put it up now.



message 30: by Sella, ov vey! i haven't checked this group in months. >< (new)

Sella Malin | 4530 comments Mod
Whoa that's cool Cali!! XD


message 31: by [deleted user] (new)

thnx!


message 32: by [deleted user] (new)


Xerxes Break(Vivian Ephona) (ephona) Well apparently my prologue is okay cause someone was like "I think you just skipped a lot of important parts like this and that" and the thing is after the book everything in the prologue makes sense to an extent XD


message 34: by [deleted user] (new)

:D


message 35: by Riley (new)

Riley (booksarecool) I think we've got prologues covered pretty well.


message 36: by [deleted user] (new)

yeah. . .


message 37: by Riley (new)

Riley (booksarecool) Yessirreebob.


message 38: by Sella, ov vey! i haven't checked this group in months. >< (new)

Sella Malin | 4530 comments Mod
Lol!! XD


message 39: by Veronica, What the neck!? (new)

Veronica (v_a_b) | 2889 comments Mod
It's christmas morning!!! Normally, when I was little, 'santa' would be visiting about now, and I would be sound asleep. But now that I'm 15, that's changed. Santa doesn't visit my house anymore. But that's okay, because I don't need santa gifts! After all, I have my family! And there are five of them!


Xerxes Break(Vivian Ephona) (ephona) Yep! Agreed! I'm still 14 and, in case you don't read other topics, I got the David Archuleta CD! And we got a Wii!


message 41: by [deleted user] (new)

oh my gosh . . . ur kidding right? I GOT THE SAME THING!!!!!


Xerxes Break(Vivian Ephona) (ephona) OMG HOW DOES THAT WORK?! XD


message 43: by [deleted user] (new)

i know, it's nuts!!


message 44: by Kenzie (last edited Dec 25, 2008 07:52PM) (new)

Kenzie | 2838 comments LOL. I still get a 'santa' gift. I've got three younger brothers, and two of them I know for sure still believe in Santa, the other I think does.


message 45: by [deleted user] (new)

yeah, i got one member who still believes. sometimes i wish Santa really did exist.


Xerxes Break(Vivian Ephona) (ephona) Yeah.

My sister is terrified of santa even though she knows that he's not real. But if you think about it, he is terrifying. A man you don't know very well who can get into your house that knows where you sleep and knows when you're asleep and also knows what you've been doing all year.


message 47: by Brigid ✩ (new)

Brigid ✩ | 5857 comments Mod
lol. that is kind of sketchy.
you know if you sing "santa claus is coming to town" and insert "edward cullen" whenever it says "santa claus" it's really funny.
"EDWARD CULLEN'S COMING TO TOOOWN!! HE SEES YOU WHEN YOU'RE SLEEPING, HE KNOWS WHEN YOU'RE AWAKE ..." yeah. it works, doesn't it? lol


message 48: by [deleted user] (new)

LOLZ THAT'S HILARIOUS!!


message 49: by Paige (new)

Paige Miller lolz. :D

"Santa" still comes to my house. Apparently my 9 year old brother "still believes." Whatever. More presents for me!!!!

Wow I sound shallow.....

My birthday is tomorrow!!!!! YAY BIRTHDAYS!!!!!!!


message 50: by Kenzie (new)

Kenzie | 2838 comments Happy Birthday, Paige! Again!

I loved my Santa gift this year. I got The Dark Knight.


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