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by
Kiele
(new)
Jan 15, 2012 12:19PM
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Okay I kind of want to get some feedback on my poetry, I just started doing it and hope it is likable. Here's the first one it's called Made Up Memories.
Sparkling, Shining
The wind dancing to perfect timing
Salty smell in the air
Soft ocean breeze tangling my hair
My toes buried in the sand
I sigh, content and hold to your hand
I may not know you now
But I swear I will find you somehow
Someday, somewhere
We'll meet swear
And when we do
It's just me and you
Someday we may go to the ocean
To watch it dance in slow motion
There on the beach I'll hold your hand
Dig my toes into the wet sand
And there is a memory
Forever to be with me.
Sparkling, Shining
The wind dancing to perfect timing
Salty smell in the air
Soft ocean breeze tangling my hair
My toes buried in the sand
I sigh, content and hold to your hand
I may not know you now
But I swear I will find you somehow
Someday, somewhere
We'll meet swear
And when we do
It's just me and you
Someday we may go to the ocean
To watch it dance in slow motion
There on the beach I'll hold your hand
Dig my toes into the wet sand
And there is a memory
Forever to be with me.
~~~~~
I knew that it was stupid and might get me killed but I also knew that the lives of others could be at stake if I chose to stand idle. My heart was racing and my hand almost slipped from its precarious hold on the stone wall above me. I was growing tired but as I looked down, reminding myself that the drop would kill me, I shook away the tiredness and pushed myself that last twenty feet to the top.
~~~~~~
This is the beggining of a story I am thinking about writing.
I knew that it was stupid and might get me killed but I also knew that the lives of others could be at stake if I chose to stand idle. My heart was racing and my hand almost slipped from its precarious hold on the stone wall above me. I was growing tired but as I looked down, reminding myself that the drop would kill me, I shook away the tiredness and pushed myself that last twenty feet to the top.
~~~~~~
This is the beggining of a story I am thinking about writing.
Mod
Yeah I changed it, thanks for catching that and for your input!!!
Mod
Ha ha thanks... This is one of my other poems about soccer, which is another passion of mine.
From Many to One
Hot and humid the sun beats down
Sweat gleams fresh and most of us frown
It's more than you see, more than it seems
Look at us now we're building a team
Lap after lap
We could all use a nap
Yet long after we should be gone
For so long we push on
Our socks and our cleats, they grow hot
All tempers stir in the stewing pot
We push and we shove
It's just out way of showing love
I push you, you hit me
At nights' end, oh how much better we'll be
We move as many, yet work as one
Our years of training will never be done
Two hours are past, tonight's pracitce is done
Tomorrow's the game, we shall have such fun
We'll run up the pitch and down, then do it again
This is the best team we yet have been
No, it isn't ever easy
Most days we wish were a little breezy
But through the hurt and the pain
All our work brings us great gain.
Hot and humid the sun beats down
Sweat gleams freash and most of us frown
This is more than you see, much more than it seems
Look at us now, because we did it, We built this team.
By Keely Cmont
From Many to One
Hot and humid the sun beats down
Sweat gleams fresh and most of us frown
It's more than you see, more than it seems
Look at us now we're building a team
Lap after lap
We could all use a nap
Yet long after we should be gone
For so long we push on
Our socks and our cleats, they grow hot
All tempers stir in the stewing pot
We push and we shove
It's just out way of showing love
I push you, you hit me
At nights' end, oh how much better we'll be
We move as many, yet work as one
Our years of training will never be done
Two hours are past, tonight's pracitce is done
Tomorrow's the game, we shall have such fun
We'll run up the pitch and down, then do it again
This is the best team we yet have been
No, it isn't ever easy
Most days we wish were a little breezy
But through the hurt and the pain
All our work brings us great gain.
Hot and humid the sun beats down
Sweat gleams freash and most of us frown
This is more than you see, much more than it seems
Look at us now, because we did it, We built this team.
By Keely Cmont
More of the story
Breathless I came to the top of the wall, only to be imedeatly (sp?) confronted by several guards. I sighed and drew my sword. I took a critical moment to admire it as always, long and tappering. The perfect asassin's sword. Smiling determinedly I set my mind to buisiness, quickly and quietly cutting down the guards and tossing them over the wall before they hit the ground.
It was my job to kill, and I was good at it. Really good at it. I whipped my sword around a few times, the still warm blood being flung off the sleak metal. When the blade was clean I slid it back into it's sheath across my back, with it's siser sword. Another slight smile lit my face.
Today I was finally going to make a differance.
Breathless I came to the top of the wall, only to be imedeatly (sp?) confronted by several guards. I sighed and drew my sword. I took a critical moment to admire it as always, long and tappering. The perfect asassin's sword. Smiling determinedly I set my mind to buisiness, quickly and quietly cutting down the guards and tossing them over the wall before they hit the ground.
It was my job to kill, and I was good at it. Really good at it. I whipped my sword around a few times, the still warm blood being flung off the sleak metal. When the blade was clean I slid it back into it's sheath across my back, with it's siser sword. Another slight smile lit my face.
Today I was finally going to make a differance.
Mod
this could use an apostrophe!:)
