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message 51:
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▕ ▋ ♛ ▍Marisa
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Aug 20, 2012 09:46PM
I tried to stand up for myself.... It just made things worse. I have resorted to closing myself off from them.
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He is my neighbor's best friend. I've known him forever and he liked me and I was unaware of his feelings.... Everyone else on the other hand... Well they knew and most of the girls liked him... So to draw his attention from me to them, they trashed my reputation.... Yup... Fourth graders are brutal....
And he never asked me out... Well I'm a little unsure of that one....... I've been oblivious of his feelings until two weeks ago when he left his bike on my porch... I was at camp so his friend came and got it back for him and my mom found out he's liked me since fourth grade... I feel terrible about being so oblivious.....
Mod
And about the suicide stuff: Don't. If you need us, we are always here for you. Suicide solves absolutely nothing, its a permanent fix to a temporary problem. It hurts those around you worse than it hurts you. And if its botched, then you are alive but there are other problems that occur.
Finally, about the whole sandwich thing. It was a horrible joke. A cruel one and a senseless one. But it means nothing. It's them lashing out at you in anyway they can. You were expected to either just feel bad or accept it. If the former, they accomplished the goal. Great for them, they are still a bunch of assholes. If the latter, then they failed. If they honestly believe you are desperate for attention up to the point where you'd accept someone randomly asking you out, then maybe its time to step it up a notch. Find new friends outside of school. Get involved in something. Find someone you like who doesn't interact with your "friends" and ask them out if you feel like it.
Oh, last thought. From someone who is in love with a good friend: If he asked you out, you'd know. It builds up, but it doesn't stop from subtle hints. It urges you on to do something because you feel like you'll explode if you don't. Sometimes that something is staying with them until the end. Sometimes its asking them out in a large way. Or maybe its a quiet confession in a private manner. But its never "Hey, want to go to the movies?" and then hanging out with you for a few hours.
Thanks Rud. *hugs* I needed that. To answer your question, I would have feelings for him, but if something were to go wrong, it could ruin our friendship. And I don't want to risk that..... And I can't really just walk up to him and tell him my life story... It happened in fourth grade so it would be awkward....
Fourth grade? Oh, yeah, I remember fourth grade. The grade when reputation is everything, and nearly everyone is an ass, and people are collecting Bakugan and little mini wrestling figures of John Cena and Triple H.
Aaaaaaaaand, that pretty much sums up my fourth grade experience. I guess I wasn't bullied as much because:
1)When I was in fourth grade, Jackie Chan was all over the place. People though I was related to him just because I'm Asian. -_-
2)I used to wear DCs because I liked skateboarding but didn't really know how. I guess wearing those shoes helped me provide an image or somethun' XD
I hope that the wound heals, even though it happened three to four years ago. We might not always be online, but we're usually here. GR is a place where you can let it all out.
Well, at least here in this Rant topic. :)
That's why I haven't actually killed myself yet.... GR and music have kept me going....
Mod
As long as you don't want it to hurt your friendship, you don't hurt him during the relationship and he actually loves you, it won't. A couple of my friends dated for a while, and even after they are still on great terms. And I'm not saying just randomly tell him your life's story. Ask him if he wants to go to a movie or something. After, talk to him. Ask him if he likes you, say you like him, etc.
If you don't want to take this advice, don't. I'm not an expert, but I've been in his position before.
Like I said before *hugs* You are amazingly helpful Rud!
Mod
How did everything turn out for you?
Rudyards wrote: "No problem. I just have a view from the other side and a bit of experience dealing with "friends"."More like a lot of experience.
Mod
It turned out fine. The thing is, you pick up other friends. It hurts when it happens, but its like ripping off a bandaid. If you do it slow its worse than if you do it fast. Big tip though: don't tell them. Don't make it huge and public. Just stop talking with them, hanging out with them, anything. Make it clear that you want nothing to do with them, but don't tell them that.
Thank you so much Rud. I know I can always count on you for help! *hugs*
Mod
