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message 1: by Erin (new)

Erin | 130 comments This doesn't go with the Outlander series topics but I only participate in this group and I wanted everyones thoughts. My cousin is stationed in Hawaii and she posted this on Facbook about a book her 8 year old checked out at the school library...I want to know should we as parents let our children who are advanced in their reading, read at advanced levels if they are reading materials that are to mature for them? Why would a author who writes childens books write such content? As a society are we that numb to it that it doesn't phase us?

Anyways here is her posting:

Confiscated my daughter's library book she brought home from school after reading a paragraph over her shoulder which included the terms "slutty, skanky, and pole dancer." From a library for kindergartners through 6th graders...in whose mind is it appropriate for my 8 year old to be reading about slutty, skanky, pole dancers that are dating an entire fraternity???


message 2: by Dee (last edited Jan 11, 2012 01:50AM) (new)

Dee (austhokie) | 1124 comments Is the library only for K-6 or does it serve a larger population - you say stationed, so that to me indicates military which could account for that?

personally, I don't want any other parent aside from me, and including librarians telling me what my kid (albiet currently non-existant) what I can and can't read. If the kid borrowed the book and the parent thinks its inappropriate, then they should sit down with them and discuss it - use it as a learning tool, or something like that. As an 8 year old, I was already well beyond the children's section in the library and the YA when I was growing up was pretty much non-existant...so I had to borrow from the "adult" section and it caused nothing but trouble because there were librarians who didn't think I should be...my mom eventually had to put a letter in a file, saying that I could essentially borrow any book I so desired and that she would take responsibility for anything within in that might be controversial.

but without knowing the book, then I can't even say who is it aimed at?


message 3: by Ann (last edited Jan 14, 2012 10:42AM) (new)

Ann (sleepyguider) | 198 comments It is tricky when they are precocious readers. My son was one and aged five he explained in detail to his sister, Just how the baby was going to get out of the lady's tummy! I don't know who was more surprised me or the Lady who was pregnant. (We did not know her we were resting in the shallow end of the swimming pool next to her).
So I asked him how he knew this. He simply answered I read it in a book. When we got home I asked him to show me the book and although it was aimed at 8-9 year old's and did not go into a lot of detail he had filled in the gaps himself CORRECTLY!
Of course it went straight over his sisters head. But we did take more care about what he read for a while.

I think you need to check out what age this library caters for and question if they do check out what the books contain as I would not expect any school library below the age of 16 to have things like you say in them.
If parents want to allow their children to read such books they can borrow them from regular libaries or buy them.


message 4: by Erin (new)

Erin | 130 comments thanks guys. these are all helpful suggestions. I thought putting my son in a christian school would keep this kind of thing from happening but we can't sensor everything. it is up to the parents to monitor what they are reading.


message 5: by Leea, Escape Artist (new)

Leea | 1239 comments Erin, my oldest is 6, so we're a few years away from this step. I agree with Dee, it's my right & responsibility as their patent to make those educated decisions. You may need to read his books before him or depending on his age trust him to make the choice.

When I was younger my mother trusted me to choose books. My mother is an RN, so I always just asked her if I Had a question and she was always honest with me. That's what I do with my boys, I hope we will always have that kind of relationship.

Being a parent is so hard. We just do our best.


message 6: by Regina (new)

Regina (reginar) The thing is, the YA books written now are much different than when I was a kid. Some had sex (like Forever), but most did not. And most books marketed to the 12-15 year olds did not have sex. When I read books with sex in them, they were adult books that I snuck. I see a huge difference in 16 year old kids and up reading what they want and a 12 year old reading the very sexually advanced YA books on the market right now. My daughter is 12 and in her middle school they have books with explicit sexual scenes (for example like Breaking Dawn and Vampire Academy and others). I am guessing that the librarians don't actually vet the books, but buy what is marketed as YA. If I had a child who was a reluctant reader, I likely wouldn't care what they- read as long as they did, perhaps hypocritical. But that is not the case with my 12 year old, she reads more books than I do! She reads anywhere from 3-5 a week. Now, I am not going to go the librarian and complain about the inclusion of books, I do not feel that is appropriate. But I have said to my 6th grader, look Breaking Dawn, Vamp Academy, House of Night (that is there too!) are not appropriate for you, but let's talk about what you bring home and discuss why you want to read it and why I don't want you to read it. For me, I would have a huge issue with the terms the slutty and skanky as they are extremely sexist and they really seem to normalize the girl on girl hate that is so prevalant and that I know my daughter is already experiencing. So I would at least have a convo with my daughter (which I already do) about judging people and judging other girls.

So in sum, I think it is fine to activiely limit younger readers and in fact I think we should, but only if we are talking to them about why and listening to their reasons about why they should be allowed to read them (a few times my daughter has convinced me - for example with City of Bones == she convinced me why she was ready for it. And she was right. ) So not just be authoritarian, but with an open dialogue and being realistic about what your child is ready for instead of having harsh limits. But I also think so many of us have different approaches and that is great, b/c like Leea says we just all do our best, we all know our kids and our differences make the world go around.


message 7: by Erin (new)

Erin | 130 comments My son and I went through a similar conversation about why he can't watch certain adult cartoons. Just because they are cartoons doesn't mean the content or images are for young kids. He is still upset with me for not letting him watch what his Uncle Nick watches when he is over at night. But at least I monitor and get involved. Our next door neighbor doesn't monitor her kids at all and one of the kids brought a knife to school because he saw it on tv and thought it would be cool to do the same.

My son is just now really getting into reading chapter books but we look for them together because I read the book with him. Not at the same time lol but I quiz him on what he reads so I have to know what the book is about. He has weekly AR quizes at school about the book he choose to read that week. It is a way to get the parents involved but also teaches the kids to really pay attention to what they are reading and helps them understand what themes and writing styles are for when they are in higher level classes. They points for each level chapter book they read. Jared is in 5th grade but reading at grade "5.6-6.1 reading level".So you are reading at your personal level not what the "age" level should be at. I really like this method of learning. Makes both parent and child accountable for their choice in reading materials.


message 8: by Erin (new)

Erin | 130 comments Leea wrote: "Erin, my oldest is 6, so we're a few years away from this step. I agree with Dee, it's my right & responsibility as their patent to make those educated decisions. You may need to read his books be..."

I devoured books when I was growing up. My parents are avid readers as well. I read everything from Nancy Drew and Sweet Valley High to V.C. Andrews (strong adult content)and autobios. No one ever monitored what I read. I learned about sex and drugs and war from books not by asking my parents questions. Mostly because we never talked about anything but I was embarrassed by what I was reading because it was over my head. It wasn't until I got into trouble for writing a story with adult themes in 5th grade did my parents start to monitor what I read but only for a short time. within weeks I was back on my own reading whatever I wanted to. I took books off my mothers bookshelf or my dads when I was at his house. I would sit for hours and let my imagination run wild. It was fun to me. But Until I got a little older, I didn't understand a majority of the adult themes or the graphic war books my dad read. But read them anyways. lol

Remembering how I was when I was younger I make sure I monitor my son and talk about what the books are about. I don't want to tell him he can't let his imagination run wild but I also don't want him reading over his head either. My exhusband says he is learning about it on tv anyways so I should let him do/watch what he wants. I just don't think we should give our kids that much freedom. Just my opinion.


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