Yoga Folks discussion
"Learning to Breathe" discussion
>
Learning to Breathe - chpts 29 to end and whole book
date
newest »
newest »
I want to first take the time to thank Meryl for yet another wonderful book discussion, and Priscilla, for a book that has become a resource to me. I am absolutely enjoying it, and there are so many "tools" that Priscilla gives. I appreciated her honesty, and at times her writing made me feel as if I were in a class/session with her!With that said, I have not finished the book. I read Meryl's questions above, which are great. However, when I came to the chapter "How To Die," I put the book down. Since my mom just passed away in June, I haven't really wanted to head in that direction just yet. I'm trying to keep things as lively as possible for now.
I look forward to reading the rest of the book, hopefully in the spring. I know this must sound so silly. Priscilla probably has some GREAT references on how to cope with death and dying. I look forward to finishing her book. :-)
Namaste!
Julie
Mod
Thanks for your honesty, Julie. I'm sure seeing that section brought up a lot of emotion in you, so I can certainly see why you wouldn't go past it until you feel ready. It's not silly at all.
FYI, the very end of the book has a list of resources that Priscilla touches on throughout the book, so you might want to jump to that and take a look. I thought it was a fabulous list.
Meryl Davids Landau
Hi, everyone! I wasn't sure where to put this post. I could have put it under one of many, ie: Living Your Yoga, spiritual practices, meditation, what's your favorite way to read a book, etc. But, I chose Priscilla's thread because I was so gosh-darned relaxed today, and I wanted to share it with you all. :-)I had the chance to visit a used book store today! I LOVE old books. There is just something about the look, feel, and smell of an old book that I find mesmerizing. Well, as soon as I entered the used bookstore, that "old book" smell hit me. It was as if I was inhaling relaxation. (I know this sounds corny, lol!)
I went up and down each isle, looking reading, touching. I glanced down at my watch to see what time it was, and I realized I had been there for an hour. It's not that an hour was a long time for me, it's what transpired in that hour.
For that hour, it was as if I had no concept of time. I was completely relaxed, breathing calmly, with absolutely no awareness of my surroundings, people, noise, etc. I had no idea that one hour had lapsed.
It was amazing! I guess you could chalk it up to a really awesome meditation session, yet I was moving, doing, reading. It was, for lack of a better word, delicious! I occasionally experience this when I'm watercoloring. :)
And, I treated myself to a book for $25. It is from 1904, and is titled "The Art Of The Louvre." It is hard cover, the pages are yellow and thin, looks like it might fall apart, and I LOVE IT!
Thank you all for letting me share my day of "Learning To Breathe."
Namaste!
Julie
Mod
The book you bought sounds wonderful. I'm sure you'll have more meditative moments as you peruse it.
I also love how individual we all are. You love the smell of old bookstores while the smell is the one thing about the stores (and the books) I don't enjoy. Vive la difference!
Meryl David's Landau
Ensnared in darkness I struggled to find my way30 years, now emerging into the light of my own soul
My reality has now become clear
No attachment to this life or the next, breathe and be free.
----
I finished the book this morning, and I was deeply moved by the loss in the last section of the book. It is so difficult to find meaning during these circumstances, yet we do. The resilience of humanity always inspires me. When we think there has been more suffering than we can handle we somehow find our way to the next heartbeat, next breathe.
Blessedly I have not experienced the death of either of my parents, as they were quite young when they married and had me. My father is as healthy as a horse, but my mother has fought illness her entire life, most recently having spinal surgery in December. I grew up facing these little deaths, quite aware of the suffering of humanity, but it was only in the past 5 years or so I began to find the joy and happiness in life. As Priscilla said in her book, I felt as if happiness were a limited quantity, and if I took more than my fair share I would be depriving those around me... Or in some way losing the connection we shared through suffering and negativity. I felt as if I was betraying everything and everyone in my life by choosing to be happy, but slowly I found the courage to do just that. A year ago I decided to go on a similar journey, and I became a Reiki master, took refuge in Tibetan Buddhism during Losar (Tibetan New Year), received a MA in Islam and Middle Eastern Studis, observed the Jewish holidays with friends, and did many of the things in the past I would have considered ridiculous, superstitious, or simply a waste of time. Now, I am blessed in that I have a network of friends from these different communities that support me through whatever I may be facing.
There was one thing that did come to mind as I read the book, because it is something that I have been struggling with over the past few months. Priscilla lives in a place where there are a large number of practitioners, speakers, etc., and she has the means to attend these wonderful events. I was similarly blessed the past two years, as I lived in Bloomington, Indiana while I was working on my MA. The community is quite religiously divers, and has a large alternative and pagan community. I was an active member in both of the Tibetan monasteries in Bloomington, and felt very secure in my life. Like many people, I graduated, and 300+ job applications later I still could not find a job. Consequently, I had to move back to St. Louis, Missouri, and accept an AmeriCorps VISTA position making very little money. Now, living with my parents, and without money I have lost the physical connection with Buddhism, Reiki, etc. that supported me for so long.
I'm sorry, this is a long way of getting to the point! To summarize, what is there for those of us who are removed from alternative medicine, yoga, and spirituality? Does anyone know of an online community? The ones I have found charge a fee to support their facilitators, but surely there has to be some community of individuals who simply come together to talk and support one another?
I did greatly enjoy reading the book, and I am going to make wonderful use of the bibliography in the months to come!
Danie M. Becknell
Mod
30 years, now emerging into the light of my own soul
My reality has now become clear
No attachment to this life or the next, breathe and be free.
--..."
Hi Danie:
Thanks for such a wonderful post. So good that you related to so much of Priscilla's story, and great that you have been able to break free of limiting notions like your happiness is limited or undeserved.
As for communities, of course there's us here :) We chat about yoga and spirituality in our lives, as well as in books. I'd also suggest that you look deeply in St. Louis for kindred spirits; I bet they're there, if harder to find than a more cosmopolitan city. My friends moved to Birmingham, Ala. a few years ago and they were stunned to find so many nonreligious spiritual people in the Bible Belt, some of which held reiki circles or other events in their homes.
Good luck!
Meryl Davids Landau
Danie wrote: "Ensnared in darkness I struggled to find my way30 years, now emerging into the light of my own soul
My reality has now become clear
No attachment to this life or the next, breathe and be free.
--..."
Danie, Welcome to Yogafolks! Priscilla had mentioned in another thread a website that offers free talks/lectures. The website is www.dharmaseed.org I haven't had a chance to check it out yet. If you do, enjoy!
Julie wrote: "Hi, everyone! I wasn't sure where to put this post. I could have put it under one of many, ie: Living Your Yoga, spiritual practices, meditation, what's your favorite way to read a book, etc. Bu..."Meryl, your reply got me laughing, because I was telling a friend last night that I treated myself to a used book at the bookstore. Her reply..... "That place stinks! I hate that smell!" LOL!
Julie wrote: "Danie wrote: "Ensnared in darkness I struggled to find my way30 years, now emerging into the light of my own soul
My reality has now become clear
No attachment to this life or the next, breathe..."
Thanks ladies :o)I had not heard of dharmaseeds.com before I read Priscilla's book, but I have certainly checked it out since then. A few other sites you may be interested in are;
http://www.lamrim.com
http://www.dharma-media.org
http://www.fpmt.org
http://www.holybooks.com
http://library.nu
Lamrim.com and FPMT.org are primarily Tibetan Buddhism sites of the Gelug tradition, which the Dalai Lama is part of. It has some good lectures, and mantras.The FPMT does have a store, so many of their items do have a price, but there is also a treasury of Lama Yeshe and Lama Zopa's talks related to the site, which offers free materials.
Dharma-Media.org is mostly a Tibetan Budhism site of the Kagyu tradition.
Holybooks.com and libray.nu are both sites where you can download E-books. I have only recently discovered holybooks.com, so I haven't used it as much, but library.nu has an amazing selection!
There are indeed a wonderful number of resources available online, so really it has been the human element that I have missed. I am very excited to join this community, and have the opportunity to get to know everyone here!
Mod
I'm going to weigh in here because I really, really enjoyed this book. I don't suffer from anxiety, and in fact am a pretty calm person, so I couldn't relate to the depth of Priscilla's anxiety at the start of the book, even though I appreciated her candor in describing it. But the book was just an amazing wealth of techniques and teachings for stilling the mind, and I adored the way Priscilla described and experienced each method without making any of them "the answer" to all her problems.
I especially liked how, at the end of the book, she acknowledged that she uses all the tools, and sometimes still has anxiety, although not to the degree she used to. It all felt very realistic, while still being hopeful and uplifting. Great job, Priscilla!!
Meryl Davids Landau
Hello everyone -Wow! I took a week off from goodreads, as I was helping a friend going through a tough time, and look how much I missed! Thank you so much as always, Meryl, for keeping this conversation going. You do that with so much integrity. I'm so grateful to you, and to everyone here, for posting with such honesty and clarity.
Julie, I love your story about meditating in the aisles of a used book store. I say "meditating" because I imagined myself immersed in your experience as you described it, and Belleruth Naparstek described meditation to me as taking place anytime I'm immersed in an experience that is outside of myself. My sister and I joke that we get that kind of high when we're inside a supermarket. We wander up and down the aisles staring at everything, channeling our father, who was in the supermarket business. Our husbands have learned to be very patient with us, but they usually don't come along, as we can spend a lot of time pondering pasta and staring at strawberries!
Danie, thank you for sharing your thoughts and personal experiences with us. It's a testament to the lovely people in this group that you felt comfortable doing so. And thank you for posting such terrific resources. I know how fortunate I am to be living in the NYC area. I've been attending Sharon Salzberg's meditation course at Tibet House for the last few weeks, and it is amazing to be able to do that for a very minimal cost, less than a movie these days! The room is overflowing; I think there must be 300 people gathering together on Tuesday nights, and the energy is wonderful. But I do hope there will be more and more places online where people can come together as we do here, and learn as much as we can from each other.
Thank you once again to everyone for making this thread a sanctuary, sangha, school and safe haven. I wish you all the very best.
Mod
Wow! I took a week off from goodreads, as I was helping a friend going through a tough time, and look how much I missed! Thank you so much as always, Meryl, for keeping this conve..."
Priscilla:
As we're winding down discussion of your book, I'm wondering if you can take a moment to weigh in on anything that's changed since you finished writing the book:
Have any one or two practices become your mainstay?
Are there some you were still doing at the book's end that you now don't find as much value in?
And any that you've discovered since you finished writing that you wish you could have included?
Finally, how would you rate your calmness/anxiety overall? Has it reached a stable place or do you find yourself continually finding more inner peace?
Thank you once again, Priscilla, for joining our discussion and making it so much more fun!
Meryl Davids Landau
Once again, many thanks for these terrific questions, Meryl. You've helped me to look at my own book in new ways during this discussion!I still meditate every day, for at least 20 minutes, even if it means I do so when I get into bed after a long day. I still use sessions of EMDR to process difficult issues when they surface. I still chant along with Krishna Das, I still study meditation with Sharon Salzberg when she teaches at Tibet House in New York City, and I continue to listen to teachers' dharma talks and guided meditation. I practice yoga with Amy and on my own. I suppose you could say that I still rely on all of the teachers I met and continue to learn new lessons all the time.
I haven't done much thangka painting, but only because I haven't had the time to go study with Lama Tsondru, who lives an hour away from me. I suppose I could do it on my own, but when I'm in the mood to create something with my hands, my free time is spent making jewelry these days.
I met a wonderful nutritionist after my book was finished, and she helped me to understand which foods make me tired, which make me gain weight, and which give me energy. I would have written about what she taught me if I'd met her earlier. I lost some weight, and gained some of it back...so it goes :)
As for your last question - How would I rate my calmness and anxiety overall? I am extremely calm. So calm, in fact, that I sometimes don't recognize the new ways in which I process experiences. I get more sad than I've ever been before, which has taken some getting used to. Now that I'm not distracted by my fears and panic, I feel that sadness more acutely. But my meditation process helps me to recognize that sadness as a temporary experience. I know that happiness comes and goes. I do sometimes feel some anxiety, but it's a fraction of what I experienced before. It tends to come in the form of insomnia more than panic, and I have Belleruth Naparstek on my ipod to guide me through a sleeping meditation when that happens!
I'm not fully enlightened :) but I live with an enormous amount of peace and joy. And I thank you all very much for giving me this opportunity to reflect on that joy.
Priscilla wrote: "Once again, many thanks for these terrific questions, Meryl. You've helped me to look at my own book in new ways during this discussion!I still meditate every day, for at least 20 minutes, even i..."
Thanks for the wonderful post Priscilla! I was reflecting upon my teachers as I finished up your book, and wondering how much of those lessons did stay with me. At that point I came to the conclusion that I had taken what I had needed at the time, and the rest simply washed over my ever straying mind. Of course, reaffirming that I should never conclude anything (lol), a few days later a friend came to me for help with her panic attacks, and things that didn't work for me, but I felt might resonate more with her spilled out of me. It seems every day I find more reasons to be grateful to all my teachers!
Before I forget again, have you run accross any instruction books on Thangka painting? I have been interested in learning, but do not know of any masters here in the St. Louis area.
Lastly, I recently received Robert Sachs book on Tibetan Ayurvedics from the library, and it is amazing! I am so thankful you mentioned him in your book!
Much Love & Light -
Danie
I'm so grateful Priscilla pointed out this discussion on her Facebook page as a yoga community is just what I would enjoy!I related to so much in Priscilla's book. It gave me peace just reading how someone else openly approached dealing with this panic and anxiety.
I was raised by Jewish parents who also had a very difficult and complex relationship. Happiness was something that "happened" to you, not something you created; and it was just as easily taken away.
In my 20s I discovered yoga, Buddhism and hypnotherapy and finally found the peace and happiness that was always inside me. That was until the beginnings of menopause started a few years ago and I learned for the first time in my life what a panic attack was. As I read Priscilla's book I was reminded of all the practices I used so many years ago. I am bringing them back into my life again. And while it appears there is nothing I can do to control the havoc my hormones are causing, the discipline of yoga and meditation are helping to keep me mostly sane. Priscilla’s story offers me hope that one day I will see the calm once again.
Mod
I related to so much in Priscilla's book. It gave me peace just reading..."
Thanks for sharing your personal experience, Wendy. I'm sure you saw from posts on prior chapters here that you have plenty of company in the panic-brigade here. Glad the book is helping you.
I like the way you put it about it being easy to think that happiness is something that happens to you, not something you get to choose every moment of your life. Sometimes I need a reminder of that myself.
Namaste!
Meryl Davids Landau
Mod
I still meditate every day, for at least 20 minutes, even i..."
Thanks for catching us up to the present, Priscilla! One of the things I love about getting the authors here is that they can tell us what's happened since they wrote the last page of their book, which is typically a year or more ago. Amazing that you're still doing almost everything you discovered in your quest. And thank you again for your wonderful participation in our group!
Namaste!
Meryl Davids Landau
Hi everyone. I had the chance to meet Priscilla at a book event (held in a chocolate shop!!) in Princeton last Thursday. It was such a joy. Priscilla was so open in sharing various experiences that she wrote about in her book, as well as playing us some of the music and excerpts from meditations from Sharon Salzberg. I finally got to hear Krishna Das! (Priscilla's crush!) :-)My sister has suffered panic attacks and Priscilla's description of her anxiety and panic really helped me relate to what my sister went through. Maybe I will offer to lend the book to her, if she's open to it. We're going through a rocky time right now but hopefully, we'll reach a more comfortable place soon.
As I shared with Priscilla, the chapter about her dog Micky's death made me cry buckets! I have a dog who is very special to me (that's Grace in my profile pic) and I found the way that Priscilla dealt with her dog's death so touching. Did anyone else have a similar reaction?
Mod
Thanks for sharing about meeting Priscilla. Thanks to her chapter on Krishna Das, I have leaped at the chance to hear him live when he comes to South Florida in two weeks. (I've heard CDs, which I love, but I am really looking forward to a live event.) So fun that we've all been inspired by her writing.
I also very much like the way she handled her dog's death in the book. Poignant, but very real. I don't recall that I cried, but then I don't have a dog. (Although my sister just had to put her dog down. Very sad.)
Namaste!
Meryl Davids Landau
1) Priscilla attends Buddhism professor Robert Thurman's lecture series on dying. He describes many fascinating views on life and death, including that our soul chooses its parents, that the soul leaves the body every night when we sleep, and that we come back for many lifetimes. He also suggested reading from the Tibetan Book of the Dead to a person who's near death. Your thoughts on any of this?-This opens the discussion for "why did I choose my parents & what did I learn" Hmmmm...interesting. I'll have to ponder that one a bit more ;)
3) After a long illness, their beloved dog Mickey has to be put down. Reading from the Tibetan Book of the Dead to Mickey just before the end seems to calm Priscilla--and maybe Mickey too. How is she able to deal with this loss without panicking? Have you been in this situation with your own pet? How did you handle it?
-Reading the chapter about Mickey's death was so hard, I have an adorable little yorkie and cannot imagine how hard it will be when we get to that stage of her life.
4) Priscilla learns about death poems. The format is: Your issues, your age, your growth, your understanding of Buddhist principles of death. Priscilla writes hers:
Comment on hers or, better yet, write your own!
- Ever moving, ever fearful, ever alone, yet never ending.
41 years of caring for others and waiting.
Time moves on, I befriend myself, and my life blossoms.
I am at peace, I still struggle, but not alone, namaste.
5) In yet another death, her longtime therapist Dr. Jaeger, passes away. Priscilla has a strong reaction, but no panic attacks. How did you feel reading this chapter, in terms of the bad luck that seems to strike and/or her resilience in the face of another severe loss?
-Life is a constant motivator and often shows you the strength inside that you didn't even know you have.
6) In the second to last chapter, Priscilla describes how she incorporates all the things she experimented with and learned throughout the book into her life. She seems to use everything, and more. Still, she admits that sometimes she is overwhelmed and even anxious. Did you appreciate her realistic assessment of where she is, or were you hoping after a year of exploring she (and you?) would conquer panic, fear, and negativity forever?
-I love that Priscilla is honest and realistic about her journey! It is amazing that she was able to change her panic and fear but life still throws those curve balls at you and trips you up now and then. She demonstrates a success story that is easy to relate to and gives hope!
7) What did you think of the book overall? What did you love best about it? What do you wish could have been different?
-I loved Priscilla's book and would not change a thing! Very thought provoking and helps the reader explore their own experiences and encourages a path of healing! I am thankful to be a part of this discussion (even if I'm late) and for being able to read this book!
Danie wrote: "Ensnared in darkness I struggled to find my way30 years, now emerging into the light of my own soul
My reality has now become clear
No attachment to this life or the next, breathe and be free.
--..."
Mod
If you haven't read it yet, check it out. Great information regardless of whether you suffer panic attacks or not (I do not).
Mod
1) Priscilla attends Buddhism professor Robert Thurman's lecture series on dying. He describes many fascinating views on life and death, including that our soul chooses its parents, that the soul leaves the body every night when we sleep, and that we come back for many lifetimes. He also suggested reading from the Tibetan Book of the Dead to a person who's near death. Your thoughts on any of this?
2) As she grapples with her mother's Alzheimer's and end-of-life, Priscilla, she gets messages that she indeed was loved by both her mother and father, which profoundly moves her. Since I know some of you on this list are also dealing with ill parents, did this speak to you? Is it important to come to some kind of closure with our parents before they die (or even after)?
3) After a long illness, their beloved dog Mickey has to be put down. Reading from the Tibetan Book of the Dead to Mickey just before the end seems to calm Priscilla--and maybe Mickey too. How is she able to deal with this loss without panicking? Have you been in this situation with your own pet? How did you handle it?
4) Priscilla learns about death poems. The format is: Your issues, your age, your growth, your understanding of Buddhist principles of death. Priscilla writes hers:
Dread lurked in my bloodstream while I waited for fear to pounce,
In my fifty-seventh year, raging fires become flickering flames.
Now I dread leaving this warmth.
I want to feel every single spark.
Comment on hers or, better yet, write your own!
5) In yet another death, her longtime therapist Dr. Jaeger, passes away. Priscilla has a strong reaction, but no panic attacks. How did you feel reading this chapter, in terms of the bad luck that seems to strike and/or her resilience in the face of another severe loss?
6) In the second to last chapter, Priscilla describes how she incorporates all the things she experimented with and learned throughout the book into her life. She seems to use everything, and more. Still, she admits that sometimes she is overwhelmed and even anxious. Did you appreciate her realistic assessment of where she is, or were you hoping after a year of exploring she (and you?) would conquer panic, fear, and negativity forever?
7) What did you think of the book overall? What did you love best about it? What do you wish could have been different?
Meryl Davids Landau