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Irene
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Dec 30, 2011 11:30PM
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Can someone kindly help me out here?I'm writing a story and about to enter it in a contest, but I struggle with my commas.
Specifically in dialogue.
I hate using the word 'said' again and again and again.
So I'll cut it and say something like: "Yeah," she smiled before she sighed.
Is it correct to have a comma after the 'yeah', or should that be a period?
Also, adverbs.
"Yeah," she said sarcastically.
Comma in between the 'said' and the 'sarcastically'?
Also, what about continuing dialogue?
"Yeah," she said before standing up. "That sounds alright."
Should I treat that second set of dialogue as a new sentence like that? Or put a comma after 'up' and continue?
I know it's probably not a huge deal, but I'm going crazy, going back and forth...I'd really appreciate it if someone could help me out.
Kristen wrote: "Can someone kindly help me out here?I'm writing a story and about to enter it in a contest, but I struggle with my commas.
Specifically in dialogue.
I hate using the word 'said' again and again ..."
Okay Kristen calm down, it's perfectly normal to be concerned you are right about using 'she said, he said'. You need to 'show' not tell, let the reader work it out for themselves. Quotation marks do the 'he said' job for you, it's called over stating the obvious. Likewise 'he nodded his head', 'he shrugged his shoulders' and all the others.
Try this:-
"Yeah okay." A flicker of a smile crossed her face. Who was she kidding that would be the dumbest thing to do. (That should be in italics from 'who' but I haven't figured out how to do that on here yet!)
"Yeah, that sounds good to me."
Use a new line for each persons' dialogue, always write in double line spacing, no editor will read it if you don't. Be sure to use your spell check and grammar checker, every microsoft programme has one and you can even change the languages in it.
Your subjects thoughts should be in italics, never use capitals except in an essay.
That should give you food for thought, if you need to know how to put your readability scores on screen just say the word and I will point you in the right direction.
Have fun, because writing shouldn't be a chore.
Kristen wrote: "Can someone kindly help me out here?I'm writing a story and about to enter it in a contest, but I struggle with my commas.
Specifically in dialogue.
I hate using the word 'said' again and again ..."
Listen to Sarah, she is correct and showing instead of telling is very influential to your writting.
Irene wrote: "Kristen wrote: "Can someone kindly help me out here?I'm writing a story and about to enter it in a contest, but I struggle with my commas.
Specifically in dialogue.
I hate using the word 'said' ..."
Thanks Irene, I am passing on the words of wisdom I gleaned from my Editor, another one would be to join Tina's group help for writers I'll send her an invite if she would like to join.
Tina is a Literary Agent who gives out tips and advice here on goodreads, and I have found her advice very useful, check out her pages!
Sarah R wrote: "Irene wrote: "Kristen wrote: "Can someone kindly help me out here?I'm writing a story and about to enter it in a contest, but I struggle with my commas.
Specifically in dialogue.
I hate using th..."
Do you have a link by chance (to Tina's page) ?
Irene wrote: "Sarah R wrote: "Irene wrote: "Kristen wrote: "Can someone kindly help me out here?I'm writing a story and about to enter it in a contest, but I struggle with my commas.
Specifically in dialogue. ..."
Yes click on my profile photo and then scroll down to the groups I joined and click on Help for Writers and this will take you to Tina's pages.
Sarah R wrote: "Irene wrote: "Sarah R wrote: "Irene wrote: "Kristen wrote: "Can someone kindly help me out here?I'm writing a story and about to enter it in a contest, but I struggle with my commas.
Specifically..."
Thanks! I will have to check it out later though, gotta go get ready for school.
Irene wrote: "Sarah R wrote: "Irene wrote: "Sarah R wrote: "Irene wrote: "Kristen wrote: "Can someone kindly help me out here?I'm writing a story and about to enter it in a contest, but I struggle with my comma..."
Okay, have a nice day and I sincerely hope it's warmer where you are because here in France the sun is shining and with the wind chill factor we are looking at temperatures of about minus 10 today!
Thanks!I'll check out that group too :)
-10! It's about 40 here!
Oh, and for italics you put a "<" "i" ">" In front of whatever you want in italics and then "" "i" ">" to stop it.
There's no quotation marks or spaces, of course. I just did that so it wouldn't put my stuff in italics :)
But it's all listed if you click on the (some html is ok) link at the top right of the comment box.
Sarah R wrote: "Irene wrote: "Sarah R wrote: "Irene wrote: "Sarah R wrote: "Irene wrote: "Kristen wrote: "Can someone kindly help me out here?I'm writing a story and about to enter it in a contest, but I struggle..."
I did, it was about thirty eight degrees here minus wind chill factor so not that bad.
My favorite prompts are the free-write prompts! for some reason i get so much better inspiration if i have a first or last line already picked out for me (makes me see the whole story!) and that's what the free-writes do!
Destiny wrote: "My favorite prompts are the free-write prompts! for some reason i get so much better inspiration if i have a first or last line already picked out for me (makes me see the whole story!) and that's ..."Thanks for the input Destiny, I will keep that in mind.
My second book was hatched from a writing prompt, I set a challenge to a friend and the prompt was as follows:-Who was it that said 'old bikers never die they just smell that way'? I started out with the intention of writing a short ghost story, which turned into a murder mystery novel of 118,000 words in 10 months!
Sarah R wrote: "My second book was hatched from a writing prompt, I set a challenge to a friend and the prompt was as follows:-Who was it that said 'old bikers never die they just smell that way'? I started out..."
Wow, nice job.
Irene wrote: "Sarah R wrote: "My second book was hatched from a writing prompt, I set a challenge to a friend and the prompt was as follows:-Who was it that said 'old bikers never die they just smell that way'..."
I hope so, my fingers are crossed waiting for the publishers response.
I wanted to ask a quick question on whether you think that writing a specific genre is harder than another, for example writing chick-lit or young adult is easier than a historical novel or fantasy fiction? I know that some authors agree with this whilst others disagree, and i would like someones opinion on the matter.
