Yoga Folks discussion
"Learning to Breathe" discussion
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Learning to Breathe-Chapters 20 to 28
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#1: on reading your question, I'm kind of amazed. In the other thread I posted the recent realization i had about my father finding pleasure in tormenting my mother and I. So I can definitely relate to this experience.
#3: I think it's useful to have a large toolbox full of different techniques from which to choose, based on listening to your inner wisdom about what you might need at any given time. Just this morning I had planned on doing some strength training exercises, for example, but my body and mind were crying out for a longer yoga practice. So, I listened and did more yoga instead. (this evening, I felt up to my strength training after all!)
Mod
Yes, that must have been an amazing realization for you, Jen. It's something that we can be so close to a situation that we can't see it until years later, when we're in a new vantage point. Has your realization about your father led to any noticeable shifts in you since then?
I recently saw something in a relative of mine I never really got before, even though it was there all along. I feel like it opened my heart more.
I love that Priscilla confesses to being totally thrown by this realization, even though to an outsider it should have been obvious 50 years earlier. So vulnerable, but realistic, too!
P.S. With you and Julie changing your profile pictures, I feel like I'm talking to totally new gals! :)
Meryl Davids Landau
A book I have loved is "falling Upward: A Spirituality for the two Halves of Life" by Richard Rohr. Every line seems to start a new way of looking at the world. In the past Rohr has said that success has nothing to teach us after about 25. And it has little to teach us when we have known privilege. Nothing wrong with big success...it just doesn't teach us. At any rate Rohr is one of the few people I trust to have "done the work" before saying it out loud or on the page. Priscilla's book certainly reflects such an adult spirituality for this second half of life.
Meryl, I'm glad that a few of us changing our profile pictures is keeping you on your toes, lol!Priscilla, I got a lot of information from chapter 20, which I found very informative. I love how Sylvia says, "Everyone has lost people they love, along with wishes and hopes. Life is heartbreaking and uplifting. It's so hard to be a human being."
I find this statement very important to remember. Sometimes we are so hard on ourselves, we become our own worst enemy. It's nice to be reminded that life itself can be very difficult, and we should treat ourselves with loving kindness.
Hi,
well, I tried sending a "Merry-Christmas-Message" to all members of Yoga Folks but I didn´t know exactly how to manage it. So, I´ll try it this way:
Have all of You a
MERRY, MERRY CHRISTMAS AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR
well, I tried sending a "Merry-Christmas-Message" to all members of Yoga Folks but I didn´t know exactly how to manage it. So, I´ll try it this way:
Have all of You a
MERRY, MERRY CHRISTMAS AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR
Has your realization about your father led to any noticeable shifts in you since then?
Unfortunately no. I'm just as badly behaved as usual! (At least today, which is frustrating, losing my patience at my husband on Christmas eve. :-/ ) Although, I am still recognizing the "hysterical is historical" pattern a few minutes after it happens. I hope one day to catch it before it rears its ugly head! (And wow, look at all those judgements! Stop! :-)
RE the photos, new year, new gals. That's my goal. Keep some, let go of some, continuously improving (however slowly)!
Happy Holidays to all! I appreciate this group very much. Thank you for letting me be a part of it.
Unfortunately no. I'm just as badly behaved as usual! (At least today, which is frustrating, losing my patience at my husband on Christmas eve. :-/ ) Although, I am still recognizing the "hysterical is historical" pattern a few minutes after it happens. I hope one day to catch it before it rears its ugly head! (And wow, look at all those judgements! Stop! :-)
RE the photos, new year, new gals. That's my goal. Keep some, let go of some, continuously improving (however slowly)!
Happy Holidays to all! I appreciate this group very much. Thank you for letting me be a part of it.
The yoga quote was my favorite, something I struggle with in my Ashtanga practice...I want everyday to be an improvement building upon my previous days of practice. I believe a strong asana practice is important for people, who like myself, have lots of nervous/anxy energy. I don't find myself able to meditate early in the morning...my mind is racing, my thoughts are raging but once that energy has subsided during the day I can sit and let go a bit longer.
Mod
Jen, I love that expression! Such a perfect description. And as you know, recognizing it at any point is a major accomplishment. Catching it as or before it arises is a step that will come when you're ready.
Happy holidays to all, too! Hope everyone (whatever your religion) had a magical Christmas day, a wonderful day when so many people take a moment to pause and reflect on love.
Meryl Davids Landau
"Life is heartbreaking and uplifting. It's so hard to be a human being". This quote brings the first Yoga Sutra to mind: Atha (now) Yoga Nusasama. Yoga is Now. Every second we get a chance to begin again. Every second we get a chance to feel peace. Every second we get to try again.RE: questions 1 and 5....having an unhappy childhood and making peace with your past to move into your future.
My father died 10 years ago, and my mom is now 78. Through adult eyes I have learned many things about their relationship, their choices, the people they were when they met and when I was growing up. Now at 56 I see the family I grew up in with a very new perspective. As children we don't question our families, it all becomes normalized (except if there is extreme abuse). It is what it is. I can see now that I grew up with a couple who didn't really love one another, who married for all the wrong reasons and before they finished developing themselves. Looking back I can now see the lack of love, the frustrations, the sadness, lack of marital stimulation via conversations and intellectual pursuits, their secret yearnings and separate dreams. I can see how I absorbed this moving forward into my own life separate from theirs. For me it has brought up feelings of sadness, deprivation, yet a new adult understanding of who I am and where I have come from.
To move forward you have to make peace with your past, honor your feelings, embrace the child you were, understand what you needed but didn't get....It's a bombshell when you realize your parents really were not in love, and that they were too young and too immature to become parents.
But you must embrace yourself for the adult you have become. You wouldn't be you without the past you experienced, and it this you who deserves your love, respect, compassion, understanding and support.
Priscilla, thanks for sharing your life with us. I loved your humor interspersed throughout the book....like "he's my new favorite Rabbi"...and many more!
Ilene, thanks for that beautiful post. It really resonates with me, given the journey I'm about to undertake to really try and understand my mother in the new year.
Ilene, beautifully written. Thank you for sharing this.Jen, the best of luck to you as you embark on a "new" journey with your mom.
Thank you to everyone for sharing your lives and lessons here. "Hysterical vs Historical" is such a great concept!Ilene, your perspective on your parents' lives, both separate from your own and intertwined with your past, is remarkably wise, loving, healing, healthy and helpful.
Happy Holidays to everyone. I wish you all peace.
And laughter.
I love it too. I can't take credit for it though -- it came from the book "the Nine Rooms of Happiness".
Mod
Meryl Davids Landau
Meryl wrote: "Just want to say I'm a bit behind in my reading and so haven't finished the book yet. I hope to in the next few days, and I'll post questions on the last part plus the whole book then. Sorry to be ..."Meryl, no problem! Take your time. Life has been very busy for me also. :-)
I actually have a question based on a comment (I think Shanti made in the discussion for the earlier chapters) about all the different techniques Priscilla tried.
While I don't struggle with panic attacks, I do struggle with my own set of issues from childhood, as do some of my friends. When we chat, we're always trying new techniques and ways to break out of our automatic responses (some emotional, some mental, some physical) and be the people we know we really are deep down inside. The process is exhausting, yet we don't give up.
So I wonder, for Priscilla, did you ever feel like you were NOT making progress as fast as you would like and think about giving up? What kept you going? And more rhetorically speaking, why DON'T any of us give up? What is it that drives us to keep trying to improve ourselves, to pull off all the layers that have accumulated to reveal that true Self? I find that not everyone has that same ambition, motivation, or whatever you want to call it and it's equally baffling and fascinating to me!
Happy New Year all!
Jen
While I don't struggle with panic attacks, I do struggle with my own set of issues from childhood, as do some of my friends. When we chat, we're always trying new techniques and ways to break out of our automatic responses (some emotional, some mental, some physical) and be the people we know we really are deep down inside. The process is exhausting, yet we don't give up.
So I wonder, for Priscilla, did you ever feel like you were NOT making progress as fast as you would like and think about giving up? What kept you going? And more rhetorically speaking, why DON'T any of us give up? What is it that drives us to keep trying to improve ourselves, to pull off all the layers that have accumulated to reveal that true Self? I find that not everyone has that same ambition, motivation, or whatever you want to call it and it's equally baffling and fascinating to me!
Happy New Year all!
Jen
1) While visiting her therapist, Priscilla has the realization that she "did not have a happy childhood." It seems amazing that someone could not have realized this until her 50s, yet we've all had similar experiences of not seeing the truth when it is right in front of us. What did this section bring up for you? Recently my 82-year-old mother had a bad reaction to a medication and I had to call 911 when she became unresponsive. She is fine now, thank God, but in that moment of crisis I had no choice but to take responsibility and be detached rather than emotional.
Afterwards I thought back on being 5 years old when a fellow kindergartener's mother had died, then my own mom had to go into the hospital. I remember feeling afraid, alone, and in retrospect I would not say I have a lot of childhood memories that I would describe as really happy.
I think our realizations come up based on the level of truth and awareness we're willing and able to face and process about ourselves and life. It always feels good to me when I have a little "aha" moment that allows me to let go of past pain or fear. Seeing my mother in such a fragile, vulnerable place "on the edge" served as yet one more reminder of how a lifetime goes by in the blink of an eye, so every moment is beyond precious.
Whatever level of happiness was in my past, I feel more determined than ever to open my heart in each moment to the deepest and greatest bliss, and to share that with whoever is in front of me.
Mod
As someone who just had a birthday and is therefore especially conscious of how quickly time passes (how could my last birthday have been a full year ago?), I very much relate to your beautiful observation, Shanti.
Glad your mom is doing better. And glad you're able to put all your yoga knowledge to use in your life during this trying time!
Meryl Davids Landau
1) While visiting her therapist, Priscilla has the realization that she "did not have a happy childhood." It seems amazing that someone could not have realized this until her 50s, yet we've all had similar experiences of not seeing the truth when it is right in front of us. What did this section bring up for you?- This section made me think about my own childhood and explore my own happiness as a child. I have to admit it wasn't very happy and I grew up in an environment of fear (my mother was constantly fearful of my father and anxious)
3) Her new yoga teacher, Amy, tells her "yoga was created to help us align ourselves, so that prana, an invisible form of energy can flow freely through our bodies. Sometimes we have too much prana, and we have to burn it off with fiery practice. Other days that same practice could exhaust us. We're different at every moment." Do you agree? And how important do you think a physical, hatha practice is to maintaining inner peace, especially since in some traditions the body is ignored in favor of working with the breath and mind?
- I need my yoga ;) I feel awful when I am out of practice!
4) Priscilla participates in brain research at her alma matter (and mine!), Penn, where an MRI is taken before beginning a steady lovingkindness meditation and another will be taken after. If you haven't already read the rest of the book, what do you guess her brain will show when she comes back for the subsequent imaging?
- my guess is that the images will be phenomenal and amazing!
5) Hearing from her mother's old friend, and then, a powerful EMDR experience, brings up a lot of issues about the past. How important is it--to Priscilla, or in your own life to you--to understand the past in order to move more freely into the future?
- I do think it is important to understand how the past has affected your life and the person it made you into, but I think you need to shift the focus onto your present self and leave it in the past.
This section is entitled How to Love (love that!), so naturally all the chapters dealt with Priscilla further opening her heart. As always, feel free to answer any/all of these questions or ignore them and dive in with anything else that spoke to you. Remember that Priscilla is also involved in this discussion (thanks so much, Priscilla!) so feel free to direct questions to her as well.
1) While visiting her therapist, Priscilla has the realization that she "did not have a happy childhood." It seems amazing that someone could not have realized this until her 50s, yet we've all had similar experiences of not seeing the truth when it is right in front of us. What did this section bring up for you?
2) Priscilla feels drawn to her religion, Judaism, but approaches it from a more mystical way, including having a transformative experience in the ritual bath, the mikvah. Discuss her experience. Also, have you been able to approach your own religion from a new, more meaningful vantagepoint?
3) Her new yoga teacher, Amy, tells her "yoga was created to help us align ourselves, so that prana, an invisible form of energy can flow freely through our bodies. Sometimes we have too much prana, and we have to burn it off with fiery practice. Other days that same practice could exhaust us. We're different at every moment." Do you agree? And how important do you think a physical, hatha practice is to maintaining inner peace, especially since in some traditions the body is ignored in favor of working with the breath and mind?
4) Priscilla participates in brain research at her alma matter (and mine!), Penn, where an MRI is taken before beginning a steady lovingkindness meditation and another will be taken after. If you haven't already read the rest of the book, what do you guess her brain will show when she comes back for the subsequent imaging?
5) Hearing from her mother's old friend, and then, a powerful EMDR experience, brings up a lot of issues about the past. How important is it--to Priscilla, or in your own life to you--to understand the past in order to move more freely into the future?
I'll end this with the beautiful image Priscilla closes this section with--have a wonderful day "sitting in God's hands"!
Namaste!
Meryl Davids Landau