How It Feels question

I just finished reading it too, and I'm sure that Neil decides to keep on living at the end, inspired only by the thought of his half brother Oscar. He says "I never was a swimmer but I know how to fight" which I took to mean that he was trying to get out of the water. He then says "And the sound of the water, I can hear it now" which means he's tuning back into the life that he was distancing himself from.

The last few words "and (I) feel a little older" I think displays the fact that he's finally making a mature decision and choosing not to be selfish. He wants to be there for his little brother Oscar when he gets to the same age and thinks of suicide, to share his experiences and help him out of the sadness that so many boys in this story must fight.

I was interested to see this thread, even though it's a bit old. I actually thought Neil died at the end, which is why I thought this book was incredibly odd. But your points may have cleared that up for me!