You know you've been reading too much Koontz when...

[Jaice]

Alex wrote: "Are you a bad guy from a Dean Koontz book by any chance? I could see one of his characters running a support group for children and parents with autism and laughing maniacally about it...."

I just do it so that I can use the children in my nefarious experiments. In his letter to me, Koontz claims that he is not writing about me or my research, but we'll see.

[Jaice]

Alex wrote: "You know, you just gave me a wonderful story idea...or possibly a novel idea. I'm not sure, but my weekly short story group is waiting for me to post something. I might make it a support group for..."

I see. Then it might interest you to know that my true goal is to determine the brain basis of exceptional abilities in autism, so that I can bestow such abilities on the neurotypical population. Very Koontzian, isn't it?

[Jaice]

Alex wrote: "It is. Very much so actually. Good grief! I might have to write a novel on you! ;]"

That would be most flattering. :-)

[Marina]

I didn't know there were such braniacs on this board. Now I'm too intimidated to post...

[Jaice]

Masha wrote: "I didn't know there were such braniacs on this board. Now I'm too intimidated to post..."

Don't be intimidated, Masha; even small minds get it right occasionally. ;-)

[Marina]

Reading too much Koontz.

Actually, uncontrollable sarcasm is one of the signs as well.

[Marina]

They went looking for your brain?

That's what I tell my middle schooler when he loses stuff.

[Dustin the wind Crazy little brown owl, Colorful Colorado]

Alex wrote: "I'm missing two Koontz books that I was reading and can't find them and won't read anything else until I do. It's getting ridiculous. I live in this tiny apartment and there are only so many places they would be! "

You may as well stop looking for them, I'm telling you they have fallen into another dimension, a parallel universe, an alternate reality. You will likely never see those Koontz books again & will need to acquire new ones. Sorry, but this happens.

[Dustin the wind Crazy little brown owl, Colorful Colorado]

Jason "plasborgma" wrote: "...you are constantly quoting The Book of Counted Sorrows..."

When tempest-tossed,
embrace chaos.
-The Book of Counted Sorrows

[Dustin the wind Crazy little brown owl, Colorful Colorado]

....You find yourself often quoting or pondering the words of G.K. Chesterton, T.S. Eliot, and Dickens.
....While reading a book of terror, suspense, government conspiracy, thriller etc, you find yourself suddenly in the realm of an Alice in Wonderland, Oz, Frog & Toad, or Narnia fantasy.

[Dustin the wind Crazy little brown owl, Colorful Colorado]

....You find yourself contemplating the words of the lesser known mysterious volume,The Book of Counted Joys.

Hope requires the contender
Who sees no virtue in surrender.
From the cradle to the bier,
The heart must persevere.
-The Book of Counted Joys

[Jaice]

Dustin Crazy little brown owl wrote: "...-The Book of Counted Joys"

Uh oh, you failed, because the Book of Counted Joys is almost never quoted in Koontz books. :-P

[Dustin the wind Crazy little brown owl, Colorful Colorado]

Jason "plasborgma" wrote: "Dustin Crazy little brown owl wrote: "...-The Book of Counted Joys"

Uh oh, you failed, because the Book of Counted Joys is almost never quoted in Koontz books. :-P"


I did not fail. I've been reading too much Koontz if I even know of The Book of Counted Joys. To my knowledge it is only quoted in the beginning of Odd Thomas (book one). If anyone knows of any other quotes from the much beloved and mysterious The Book of Counted Joys please let me know so I can quote more. I have succeeded in reading too much Koontz and I know it.

[Dustin the wind Crazy little brown owl, Colorful Colorado]

Alex wrote: "Hey, Dustin? You that parallel universe you were talking about? It's the space between my bed and wall. Turns out I must have fallen asleep while reading again and Twilight Eyes f..."

That space may just be a bridge between universes.

[Dustin the wind Crazy little brown owl, Colorful Colorado]

Alex wrote: "Ha. He told you."

I have now told him. He don't know what he's talking about regarding this matter.

[Richard]

You know that 'you're reading too much Koontz' when you annoy the hell out of friends and family to read your favorite Koontz books.

My wife can't handle scary books, movies, etc. and yet I was able to get her to read 'Cold Fire'. While she loved the book, to this day she has problems with Campers with attached ladders because of what happen in that book. Sadly I can't get her to read another Koontz book.

[Marina]

Same thing happened to me. I nagged my husband for years to read Koontz. Finally, I convinced him to read Lightning, which he loved. Then he read From the Corner of His Eye and Twilight Eyes- so far so good. But then I suggested False Memory and the darkness turned him off. Oh well, at least I got him to acknowledge Koontz awesomeness.

[Jaice]

Alex wrote: "Oooh, you don't want to tell nefarious researchers that. He might get angry enough to use you as an experiment...."

He already is, he just doesn't realize it yet. ;-)

[Dustin the wind Crazy little brown owl, Colorful Colorado]

Alex wrote: "I think False Memory is more of a chick book. Not many of my Dean Koontz reading guy friends liked that one as well as House of Thunder and The Key to Midnight and any other Leigh Nichols ones. Wait, was False Memory written under Leigh Nichols? "

I liked False Memory (it was originally written by Dean Koontz not Leigh Nichols). I just thought it was a bit long-worded when it went into Dr. Arihman's past that's all - but it is a very good book. In fact, you may recall that I am in that book. Dean calls me Dusty in that one :-)

I also very much liked The House of Thunder which I read for the first time this summer. I haven't read Key to Midnight yet, but I'm now looking forward to it.

[Jaice]

Alex wrote: "...Except there isn't and government conspiracy really...."

Actually, wasn't Arihman working for the government when he was in New Mexico, then decided to go rogue after the incident with the family there?

[Marina]

He was still working for the government as far as I rememeber. He was hypnotizing that druggie actor to "send a message" to the President or something pretty late in the book. Or it might have been shadow government agency, "The Institute" or something like that. Koontz has a lot of those in his book and I can't always keep them straight.

[Tbirdplanstoread]

You've been reading too much Koontz when you get pulled over for speeding and when the police officer asks you questions, you respond with Elvis song titles...

[Dustin the wind Crazy little brown owl, Colorful Colorado]

Teresa wrote: "You've been reading too much Koontz when you get pulled over for speeding and when the police officer asks you questions, you respond with Elvis song titles..."

Did you? If so, which song titles?

[Lez]

you've been reading too much Koontz when you search every pet store you can find for a suitable pet that will live up to the name Jocko :)

ps. there is no such thing as too much Koontz.

[J.S.]

When you realize that you can hook the titles of his books together into one long super-title, and think it's pretty cool.

Examples:

The Servants of Twilight Eyes of Darkness Under the Sun

The Face of Fear Nothing

[Dustin the wind Crazy little brown owl, Colorful Colorado]

Dany wrote: "When you type One Dog Away from Heaven and don't see what's wrong with the title.

When ODAFH, DROTH, FTCOHE, BTLOTM, TDEOTY, and YHBTM read like real words to you."

I love this :-)

[Dustin the wind Crazy little brown owl, Colorful Colorado]

J. wrote: "The Servants of Twilight Eyes of Darkness Under the Sun

The Face of Fear Nothing
"

Clever. You put several titles in those lines. It helps when you have the works of such a prolific writer to use :-)

[Mischelle]

These are all great!! I love this!!

People in the winter gets so pale I think they have XP or becoming transparent.

I never get scared when a golden retriever is barking at me. I think they are trying to tell me something and I just don't know what it is.

[Dustin the wind Crazy little brown owl, Colorful Colorado]

Mischelle wrote: "I never get scared when a golden retriever is barking at me. I think they are trying to tell me something and I just don't know what it is.
"

And if you look in their eyes, you will discover the Golden Retriever is really an Angel in disguise.

[J.S.]

Kyle wrote: "When you call your wife DEAN in the heat of passion.:D"

:D

[Jaice]

Kyle wrote: "When you call your wife DEAN in the heat of passion.:D"

Now that's a good one! :-D

[Dustin the wind Crazy little brown owl, Colorful Colorado]

Kyle wrote: "When you call your wife DEAN in the heat of passion.:D"

You are reading too much Dean Koontz! and frankly, I'm worried about the way it is affecting you. You may need therapy.

[Lez]

Kyle wrote: "When you call your wife DEAN in the heat of passion.:D"

Haha, brilliant :)

[J.S.]

I made a blog post in continuation of this thread.

http://jsbaileywrites.blogspot.com/20...

[Mischelle]

Nice blog!

[J.S.]

Mischelle wrote: "Nice blog!"

Thanks, Mischelle!

[Suey]

You see something white running through the woods and you think the New Creation has come.

It starts to rain - and you KNOW something bad's about to happen...

[Suey]

When you open the door to a really dark room and you're afraid to stick your hand in...

[Tony]

You know how to escape from a chair you were chained into by a psychotic killer (Intensity), and find yourself saying 'Untouched and alive' after a tense situation.

[Sara]

This thread is awesome, I find myself doing all of these things, I'm glad there are other weirdos like me =)
Btw how is Bougainvillea actually pronounced? I've always wondered...
The quote about cat whiskers and dog feet is my favorite from The Book of Counted Sorrows!

[Tony]

...you're convinced your dog is trying to tell you something.

[Katie]

When you have a plant named Fred...

[Dustin the wind Crazy little brown owl, Colorful Colorado]

Katie wrote: "When you have a plant named Fred..."

That is Awesome! Do you really?
I love By The Light of the Moon!

[J.S.]

Kyle ~The Rebel Leader~ wrote: "When you name your wife's breasts Travis and Einstein."

That is sooooo wrong. lol

[Sheila]

When you're thinking of naming your puppy Stormy.

[Katie]

Dustin Crazy little brown owl wrote: "Katie wrote: "When you have a plant named Fred..."

That is Awesome! Do you really?
I love By The Light of the Moon!"

Yep a cute little ficus that sits in my dorm window

[Dustin the wind Crazy little brown owl, Colorful Colorado]

Katie wrote: "Yep a cute little ficus that sits in my dorm window "

Amazing! Do you take it with you when you travel?

[Katie]

Only on long trips :)

[Dustin the wind Crazy little brown owl, Colorful Colorado]

I love it! :-)

[J.S.]

You don't go to the carnival unless you are absolutely certain there are no goblins around.