The Humour Club discussion
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It Came From the Internet


Actually, you can threaten to completely disable any teen at any time. Simply threaten to call the phone company and block texting on their phone. The Sword of Damocles wasn't nearly this effective.
"OMG! It's Armageddon!!"
"OMG! It's Armageddon!!"

Yes! I'm am known as the most evil man in the world, as I have used that trick more than once. Very effective.

I pulled that little chip thing out of my oldest daughter's phone when I discovered her trying to text AND do her chore at the same time. Her chore that week was to groom the cats, so she was walking around behind one of the cats, absentmindedly brushing it, while texting with the other hand. She looked like such an idiot that I felt compelled to disable the phone for a few weeks so she would be forced to lift her head up and I could see what she looked like.
Will you all hate me if I say that my boys don't have phones, don't want them, and have never sent a text in their lives?

Awesome! Good for you! I got rid of my cell phone six months ago - I'm SO glad :-)
Rebecca wrote: "Will you all hate me if I say that my boys don't have phones, don't want them, and have never sent a text in their lives?"
Rebecca, why didn't you tell us before that you'd adopted a couple of Amish kids?
Brenda, I ditched the landline more than ten years ago. The phone company still sends me hate mail.
Rebecca, why didn't you tell us before that you'd adopted a couple of Amish kids?
Brenda, I ditched the landline more than ten years ago. The phone company still sends me hate mail.

I'm blown away, Rebecca! Isn't one in college or soon to be? I don't think I've met a 13-year old within the past 10 years or so who doesn't own a cell phone (except for a those either in police custody or who live in a group home that we service).

I can almost say the same, Jay. I kept our landline for a long while because of an aging relative who didn't understand cell phones. After he passed away I learned if I got rid of the service for it, my internet would be more expensive. Somehow it's cheaper to have a "bundle" of service. Go figure. So it's still hanging on the wall. Occasionally it gets dusted.
Brenda wrote: "Rebecca wrote: "Will you all hate me if I say that my boys don't have phones, don't want them, and have never sent a text in their lives?"
Awesome! Good for you! I got rid of my cell phone six mon..."
Actually, it's a little problematic, since especially the older one (the one at college) has almost a phobia about phones. He does Skype (with his brother) and email (when he needs something), so he's not totally opposed to communication. Just mostly.
I want to stress that I didn't set out to do this. But my husband & I didn't get cell phones until maybe 3 or 4 years ago, when we got a couple of pay-as-you-go types for use on road trips. Last year first he and then I upgraded to smart phones, finally giving in to the usefulness of cellular data, especially maps, after some spectacular blind wanderings.
Apparently by that time,the boys had imprinted on the "phones are evil" idea. The younger one is now noting that he'd kind of like one, and ideally a smart phone. I pointed out that smart phones are expensive, and suggested that he could have one of the dumb phones. I need to look into setting it up for international travel, since he's the one with the travel bug.
Awesome! Good for you! I got rid of my cell phone six mon..."
Actually, it's a little problematic, since especially the older one (the one at college) has almost a phobia about phones. He does Skype (with his brother) and email (when he needs something), so he's not totally opposed to communication. Just mostly.
I want to stress that I didn't set out to do this. But my husband & I didn't get cell phones until maybe 3 or 4 years ago, when we got a couple of pay-as-you-go types for use on road trips. Last year first he and then I upgraded to smart phones, finally giving in to the usefulness of cellular data, especially maps, after some spectacular blind wanderings.
Apparently by that time,the boys had imprinted on the "phones are evil" idea. The younger one is now noting that he'd kind of like one, and ideally a smart phone. I pointed out that smart phones are expensive, and suggested that he could have one of the dumb phones. I need to look into setting it up for international travel, since he's the one with the travel bug.

Rebecca, why didn't you tell us before that you'd adopted..."
That's funny - you ditched your landline, I ditched my cell. Either is good, as far as I'm concerned - saves money :-)
I have to confess to being Amish; none of us own cell phones. I'm always amazed at how much people use their phones. I may make one call every two weeks, if that.
Who is everyone talking to?
Who is everyone talking to?

Yes I smoke...Don't worry I'm wearing my red star.
Likely, most of us are talking occasionally to work and a few friends. The rest of the time, we're hanging up on telemarketers.

Who is everyone talking to?"
I didn't realize people used their phones to actually talk to people...

Who is everyone talking to?"
Wait a minute!!! Stop the presses. That line just completely sunk in. Your sons don't even have cell phones?
How do they communicate with their friends? How do they order pizza when you're not home? How do they do their honors chemistry homework without the app? How do they get the Remind101 messages from their teachers that come via text only? How do they listen to music?
Though, admittedly, my son plays vinyl LPs on a record player. However, the majority of his music is from up-and-coming bands that only come on EPs).
What do I use a phone for? Mostly, calling my Mom, and calling my husband to remind him that by 10 p.m., most of the rest of the faculty has gone home, and maybe he should, too.
I use the cell phone to exchange texts with my best friend, who is enough younger than I am that she is most comfortable with texting. I have recently also started texting with my Mom, which is kind of fun. Keeps us a little more in touch between phone calls.
I use the cell phone to exchange texts with my best friend, who is enough younger than I am that she is most comfortable with texting. I have recently also started texting with my Mom, which is kind of fun. Keeps us a little more in touch between phone calls.


Introverts? Where do I sign up? I'm already signed up for the Extrovert group but they keep running off.
While I have reservations about smart phones, and for that matter the internet, I whole-heartedly embraced the computer the first time I wrote and edited a term paper with a word processor* (well, actually the internet is a great place for introverts, so maybe I'll embrace it too).
*That was my senior year in college
*That was my senior year in college

https://www.thedodo.com/dogs-poop-in-...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TCzZo...
I normally don't think this kind of thing is funny, but this made me laugh.

I have a brother who's an orthopedic surgeon. You'd be surprised at the number of female patients he sees who have fallen off their ridiculous shoes!
Jay wrote: "I have a brother who's an orthopedic surgeon. You'd be surprised at the number of female patients he sees who have fallen off their ridiculous shoes!"
I'm not surprised at all. There's a reason I won't wear those nasty things.
I'm not surprised at all. There's a reason I won't wear those nasty things.

Me either...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M5nX7...
If so, it's the funniest battle maneuver ever.

But, but, but . . . why would snowmen hail Satan? They obviously can't go to live in his kingdom. There would be a snowball's chance in hell of their surviving the visit.
Now, elves, on the other hand, have always seemed like The Big Red One's minions to me.
Now, elves, on the other hand, have always seemed like The Big Red One's minions to me.

CartoonistAndre wrote: "I've heard elves talking and you're right, they do conspire with the Dark Side. I've noticed our garden elves seem to be edging closer to the house each day."
There's even a city in Alaska called Gnome. I think. It's probably cold there, being Alaska and everything.
There's even a city in Alaska called Gnome. I think. It's probably cold there, being Alaska and everything.
Elves, dwarves... Even Satan wouldn't put up with those tiny, grating voices chanting or singing. I also have it on rather questionable authority that he was also kicked out of the garden, so no available elf storage.
Jay wrote: "Shelves burn. Nobody wants barbecued elf for the holidays."
True. Roasting makes for the tastiest elf. Don't forget to put the sprig of mistletoe in his mouth before you put him in the oven.
True. Roasting makes for the tastiest elf. Don't forget to put the sprig of mistletoe in his mouth before you put him in the oven.
Books mentioned in this topic
The Great Singapore Penis Panic and the Future of American Mass Hysteria (other topics)We Need to Talk About Kevin (other topics)
I think the lad needs to have the bong taken away for a day or two and made to reread his own ramblings on a continuous loop.